The Voice- if we are have recovered from last week- its the LIVE shows!

[Raahh]

But my phone line is down ( thanks bt) so my broadband is stuffed. Am rubbish on my phone.

So it's now up to a phone vote, and worse still , the judges are performing a group number it will be a close thing as to whether that, or jos couple will be more cringey!

She's out of tune. He is dressed in star trek clothes.

She started in a different key. From a different planet.

aw! he's come as george harrison and she's come as one half of Shakespeare's Sister.

Ok these are ok, a lot better than some.

Well, these are fucking awful.

Oh, hello everyone!

I had high hopes for this pair

She's doing that special kaftan dance. Swirly.

What the fuck are they supposed to be?

Is it like sonny and Cher?

Oh god. My eyes. My ears.

Disclaimer - I am really enjoying this whole experience. In the same way as I fucking love Eurovision.

She is as flat as downtown Beirut.

They sound much better together than as individuals.

I keep wanting to call her Lurleen

Ok that shows how bad this has been because to my ears these are actually vaguely singing which is an improvement.

34?????????????????????????????????????????? who's 34?

They look like the couple my mum took as lodgers one summer when I was about 12. I heard him sat in the bath really empathising and encouraging her whilst she did a poo....

Bof- I don't think it is on tomorrow- the other 10 are next week.

Arf at star trek top. he's deffo a number two.

He just resorted to showing people his guitar by the end.

Look - I have a guitar!

Yes, this IS as bad as Eurovision.

Shoite. Just shoite. They are just not good.

Right which one of you bastards has taken will.i.am as a nickname?

Mavis

"Very well done"

Damning with faint praise.

"Did you manage to enjoy that?"

Audience : NO!

They are hilarious.

She is more annoying than him. But he is wearing a plait.

Who would I kill first?

Cheers for that, Mavis.