BORN TO BE DIFFERENT is back on.

[TheOriginalFAB]

This Thursday at 9pm on channel four.

miaow

I'm a pussycat. I think. This has gone so far beyond farce I don't know who I am anymore.

are you a teenage girl? seriously? The biggest farce here is the tripe you are posting

Fanjo, repeat after me...

I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and back onto you.

Look out, incoming context!

"but it's easier to point and mock at the freak show than trying to understand the reasons." lulumama, on TV show Bariatric Ambulances

"it's like the Victorian freak shows." - PamSco on TV show The Scheme

People understood what they meant. And nobody said 'under no circumstances may you use THAT term.'

Fanjo, what teenage type insults have I thrown out? Read back your posts in this thread for immaturity if you need reminding...

you just threw one there

Did not.

Did so too

Ner

I'm telling my dad on all of you. And he's a policeman, actually.

Whatever. My dad's bigger than your dad.

I asked Mumsnet to put this message up on Monday (not exactly fast are they?). I have given up waiting now and joined myself to post it. Hopefully this will give a factual explanation (some of the press quoted by Catmilk are over five years old!)

My son has been filmed by Channel 4 since he was 6 months old for the Documentary 'Born to be Different'. He is now 11. Never has the footage been voyeuristic or f@@@@show ish (sorry too offensive to post the word). The only reason we agreed to be filmed was to increase awareness of a complex condition, Tuberous Sclerosis. Originally it was planned to be a one year programme about having a disabled baby. It has snowballed as a longitudinal project. William has autism, ADHD, challenging behaviour, complex epilepsy and severe learning difficulties - he is a handful! We are so proud of what he has achieved and support fully, that this documentary shows the highs and the lows of parenting an incredibly special little boy. Yes we cry on camera, he had just gone into an operating theatre for an operation that may have killed him, but without the op he would die - that's the reality of how the condition affects him; not drama, just life. We also laugh, a lot, he is the most amazing child and we are so proud of him. As parents we will withdraw from filming should we feel it is appropriate for him, or our daughter. Currently he enjoys the extra company on hospital visits and around the home, the film crew have become friends, they would not 'exploit' these children. I can confirm that there was 'good footage' of William that was left out, he was extremely ill and this manifested itself as severe and inappropriate behaviour. All the comments on the thread from other parents of SN children are good to see, we hope it shows 'how it is' with our lovely children. All the children are happy to be involved. We are not power crazed attention seeking parents, we were asked to share our children's story to increase awareness of children born with disabilities and we said yes. In saying yes we have opened our lives to comment, and we accept that. Thanks in advance for watching.

As I say, everyone is entitled to an opinion but I feel it rather unfair to base an opinion on old press clippings and snapshots in adverts, hence my message above. Catmilk, please please watch - if you still feel the same that's your opinion fair enough. Please try to be mindful that those of us with SN children will be upset by use of such language no matter how you meant it to be interpreted.

Well well said Neverbored. I think William is an amazing young man. I live the other side of the county to you. Sending big hugs to you all and the other amazing families!!

Very well said! Shame MN chose not to post it themselves.

I have watched the programme from the start, and I'm pleased to hear William is doing ok. He looks a very tall boy now. Wow, 11 yars old!

Well said .I have watched this program right from the start and enjoyed the insite into everyone lives and how the parents and the children and wider family cope with the good and the bad times .

And this was back before I found myself crashing into the world of living with a child with sn of my own .

I for one shall be watching it Thursday night

oh and I think it is good to show it as it is .Becuase it is not all rose tinted glasses or complete sadness when you have a child with sn .It is like life good and bad parts

Thanks Neverbored. I have also followed the programme from the beginning and I must say there are many points of your story I have cried at.......why because my ds is very much like your ds only he doesn't have TS he has DS, among others. Can't wait to see how they are all growing. My ds is 10 btw. Take care x

i watched ep3 last night, neverbored, it was lovely to see all the kids together i thought. my wee girl (nearly 3) had got up for a cuddle and wanted to know where your William's bike was, as he was wearing a cycling helmet. she told her dad this morning that her elbows worked fine (cue demo of elbows) but Zoe's don't. she noted that Shelbie's dad gives her cuddles all the time, just like her dad.
it really is SUCH a good show i think, just very matter of fact, interested, engaged and non-titillating, i think that you are making a contribution of real value in participating.
good luck to your son and daughter as they grow up, thought the photos were lovely!

I have to wonder if there is an element of fear in the attitudes of people like Catmilk.

Before you become a parent of a child with SN yourself you see those families as inhabiting another world. It is easier to de-humanise them than to accept the fact that you could become a member of this exclusive club at any time.

These children are first and foremost human beings with needs, thought and feelings and they deserve to grow up in a society which accepts and welcomes them alongside everyone else.

I am in awe of Neverbored and the other parents who are willing to allow into their homes so that the world can understand a little more of what life is like when you have a child with these additional needs. To find the extra energy required to work round a film crew when there are so many extra stresses involved in running your everyday family life is something I couldn't contemplate.

I know that what is seen on camera is only a small proportion of the myriad challenges faced by the families concerned. You could never understand the way that the daily battles for appropriate care and provision take over your life unless you have been there yourself. However if these programmes serve to increase awareness of the challenges we face then I can only thank the participants.

Freak shows are about denying the humanity of the people they use. This programme does the opposite by reinforcing how close every parent comes to walking in the shoes of Neverbored and the others who are brave enough to welcome us into their lives.

Neverbored, I will watch the show with an open mind, although I suspect I am not going to find it voyeuristic or exploitative as so many people have said it is not like that. Would you agree that many shows these days are of questionable intent? Do you think they present a danger that an idiot someone like me might mistake a well-made show for an exploitative one?

Hi Everyone, Thank you for all your kind words, there are families like us up and down the country just doing the best for our children. The film crew obviouisly aren't with us for the whole two years, but we talk or text regularly and they really do try to show a balance of what life is like. Catmilk, thanks for agreeing to watch. I think with any documentary, the audience will interpret things in different ways, based on there own lives and which bits they watch. Two years ago when the last series of BTBD went out, there was some feeling voiced on other forums that I favoured my daughter over William. This is so not true, it was based on the fact that he hit her and I intervened (obviously) and then shut him out of the room. I had no choice; he would have really hurt her if I had not physically seperated them. If you saw that clip in isolation, then it probably did seem that she was my little angel whilst he was a right pain, but thats not how it is. In reality he dominates my time completely and as a family we constantly juggle to give them both as much time and attention as possible (we are currently doing her reading books at the crack of dawn!)

I must admit that William not sleeping means that I don't watch a huge amount of any TV programme (apart from pre-recorded Dr Who over and over....) However I saw 'Britain's fattest Man', I came away with the feeling that people who are morbidly obese need far earlier input and help with what is often a true addiction to food, there seem to be issues with depression and comfort eating which spiral out of control. I suppose you could say that the issue was sensationalised, but TV production companies get permission from those filmed, the gentleman wanted to share his story. I guess at the end of the day TV is entertainment, but hopefully it can be educational too. How we view TV, from cBeebies to Panorama, will always be different as we all have different personalities.

Thanks again for watching.

Neverbored thank you for posting. I recently rewatched the last episode to catch up before the new one tmrw. I have to say I didn't get the impression that you favoured your little girl. I thought the clip was making the point that William doesn't like sharing you at all and that you are torn between disciplining him and protecting your dd and making allowances for his condition.

Nice to hear from you Neverbored.

I think about all of the children often.

Its nice to hear how William is getting along.

One of the children uses the centre my OH works at and is so big now compared to the little baby we saw in the first programme

I have a child with SN and I work with children with SN. BTBD is compulsory viewing in our house!

Thank you for posting Neverbored. I am looking forward to seeing how William and co are getting on.

I think your posts have been very articulate and dignified, I haven't posted on this thread before as I would not have been able to be so polite in the face of such ignorance and offensive language.

'Regarding the child's ability to give permission, since you mention it'

Just picked up on that.

I am studying for an MA in Autism and the last section (part time so years and years altogetehr) is a dissertaion based on original research. We spend a lot of time learning about ethics, and how to get consent from or on behalf of children with varying levels of disability. There are a great deal of systems in place, utilising a mix of writen and spoken word, parental consent, alternative language consent (eg PECs)....... you'd be amazed how invovled some quite severely imapired children can be with consent (am thinking about a fellow student who is Head of an ASD facillity, and has focused on that group- mine is with children with HFA / AS so easier but still complex).

DS1 who himself has ASD is an outspoken self advocate; he thrives on knowledge of his Sn and uses it to inform people, he often does asd awareness stuff at school and consent is not an issue: he's vastly more verbal than children his age tend to be (he is 11, has had speech & language age over 21 since he was 5). DS3 of course is not but there are plenty of ways as parents we can invovle him in lmaking decisions about himself, as loving informed parents.