pomcey things tv chefs do and say

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Nails?? Bloody nearly amputated my finger when DH bought v sharp chef's knife. Am now banned from using it.

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Cooking has become porn. So removed from the real world,to be ogled over,drooled at and lusted for.
80% of the people who watch cookery shows and buy the naff tie in books can't even fry a bloody onion.

I could count on one hand the number of my firends/acquaintances who can cook even the simplest things.

If I see one more Aussie wanker with bleached hair and a 'lifestyle' doing something idiotic with a bottle of Pernod,chilli 'jam' tiger prawns and 'berries',I'll scream!

Bah, men and their superior hand-eye co-ordination and their "why can't you chop veg without slicing your finger off?" and "why can't you reverse into the drive without crashing the car?". Grrr. Being empathetic and cuddly does not make up for it IMO.

Oooh moondog that's a good one - jams and marmalades that are nothing resembling proper jam or marmalade - really poncy.

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LOL at this thread. I am married to a chef. I ahve to put up with ponciness at home. Tea towel constantly draped over his shoulder so I can never find it, pots and pans everywhere (expecting his kitchen porter to come along and wash us), they don't think about low fat, they dollop in butter, olive oil. But it always tastes good in the end.

In defense of crushed potatoes though they are not the same as mash.

Kitchen Porter to was up not wash us. Christ, imagine that.

dh puts things in bowls, place is a mess when a stir fry is involved.

don't knock the tea towel over shoulder, it is essential

My top ponce saying is me old mucker Gary "over-egg-the-pudding" Rhodes : Warm tangerine pudding with syrupped kumquats

Why I oughta! [angry}

lol northerner!
The few chefs that I know never cook and seem to live on fast food!

Dh is very much a teatowel over the shoulder type of guy. Doesn't cook but obsessivley tidy,and scurries around me clearing and cleaning (not that I am complaining.)

I tell him that I will have
'He died with a dishcloth in his hand.'
inscribed on his gravestone.

hate Gary Rhodes saying (very reverently) 'and now it's time to assemble the dish' whereupon he proceeds to balance every ingredient precariously on top of one another in the middle of a huge plate.

Also Ainsley 'bloody' Harriot - why, when adding salt or whatever, does he feel the need to wave his other hand theatrically in the air behind him? Do they teach you that in chef school?

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These 'celebriddy' chefs bang on about real food.
So how come they all seem to have a line in shitty salad dressings,bread mixes and children's meals???

Pah!!!

(Ainsley needs a great big boot up the arse!)

what's crushed potatoes then and why do chefs put a teatowel over the shoulder and does it have to be struped?

Have things 'resting on a bed of' or 'nestling on a bed of'

'Drizzle' also annoys me

Why do they wear those ridiculous trousers?

Since when was it cool to be so fucking rude and aggressive????

Huh??????

Guessing you're not cool then Moondog

cooking is not porn someone said that further down the list. porn is porn. you can tell the difference cos one makes your bits tinlge and the other one gives you dirty pots