Underage and pregnant

[PaulineCampbellJones]

Anyone watching tonight? 21 year old bloke has relationship and then baby with 15 year old. Her mam thought it was ok

the financial burden on society is not the end of the problem though. i find it so tragic that teenage girls get pregnant in the first place because either; the have no clue aobut contraception, and or no self esteem to say to a boy no condom, no nothing, but more than anything that they don't aspire to become anything or do anything with their lives. we are letting them down.

So right, suntangirl. And thank you, for putting it so well.

I always think, what if you'd had no mother, to teach you, to show you that you are the world all on your own, you've no need of otherwise unless it's someone who is, well, the French put it best: it's better to walk alone than badly accompanied.

I think the same of my son, too.

It is my job, to grow them to know, they are fine, all as they are.

I do not know, if they would make so much mistakes.

But as a poor woman, my 'support' is limited.

That is why I hope instead to avoid such a scenario entirely.

Have sex, sure, but CYA: cover your arse.

it doesnt help though that society/the media teach young women that to be sexually attractive is the pinnacle of acheivement.......and then its THEIR fault when they get pregnant at 15/16/whatever!!

expat, I am so sad about your situation - and totally understand that you could not have another baby in the home - but still the parents' attitude here seems all wrong.

These parents are completely off the wall. They didn't bother to bring her home from partying, yet now they refuse to pick up the bits.

What cinched it for me was that they claim the girl was, at 6 years old, 'disrespectful'. What?! No, she was a 6 year old - she was rude, she isn't old enough to be 'disrespectful'. You need to bring her up, not assume the job will be done for you while you laze around.

Exactly, LittleRed. A 6-year-old. WTF? Mine still likes to be read stories. That's my job. Every night, I pray, pray so hard. 'Holy Spirit, help me! Help me not be lazy. Help me be a better mother for my kids. You're the only one who can help me now.'

And it works, mostly, so I know I can go there.

But you wonder, what makes people do this? Go and shag and have babies when they're babies themselves? Why?

I don't feel sorry for me. I have never felt that, and that is very obvious from my over 6 years of posting here.

It's just what it is. So I hope and pray my girls put it off till they're 'older', not underage, and with someone who's for real.

It's strange, isn't it? Mind you, my mum obviously thought she had done everything right and yet was being punished by a daughter pregnant at 18 - it is hard always to know who's at fault. But I still thought these particular parents were remarkably strange.

I never thought you sounded sorry for yourself, btw. So far from it, I didn't even worry about you thinking that. I just look at the mum and dad on this programme, being (let us be honest) selfish twats, and look at someone like you. And it's hard not to judge.

Yeah, that was my point RedDragon too - the parents seemed happy to slack off in their parental role and just let her go out partying to all hours (like they had no control over that) but then wouldn't help her when she got pregnant and all her partying ways left her in trouble. They expected her to be independent without giving her the skills to be so. Seeing her making herself instant noodles for dinner was so sad.

I agree with you expat that teenagers shouldn't expect the state to support them but what upsets me is that the burden is carrying SO disproportionately by the girls so for the boys it makes no difference whether there are benefits or not. If the government is going to cut back on benefits for these girls then they need to put more pressure on the fathers to step up.

Sungirltan, your point about society teaching girls that to be sexually attractive is the pinnacle of achievement was interesting. I do think that is a huge part of the problem. These girls seemed to have no aspirations aside from being with boyfriends.

I also found it depressing how the girl from Zimbabwe, Amy, desperately wanted a boy as though having a boy would mean that she would keep her man.