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Original poster

So Tony or Lucy (casulty/holby city?)

60 replies

misdee · 27/08/2005 21:15

tony.

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Original poster
misdee · 27/08/2005 21:56

sleepyjess, did u cry? or was it just me sobbing my heart out (no pun intended).

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SleepyJess · 27/08/2005 21:56

I sincerely hope he gets it soon Misdee. xx

SleepyJess · 27/08/2005 21:57

No.. DS was watching it too... but I had that pain you get when it feels like the tears are trapped in your chest!

Christie · 27/08/2005 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepyJess · 27/08/2005 21:57

And it's different for you, unfortunately.

Original poster
misdee · 27/08/2005 22:05

i really hope it has. i watched 'will i still love my mum' a few weeks ago, and sobbed at that.

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Wallace · 27/08/2005 22:15

Thanks for the link, I am now on the register.

Gillian76 · 27/08/2005 22:17

Just twisted DHs arm to register (I have been on the register for ages).

Have to say I voted for Lucy. I didn't actually phone, but in my head. Horrible decision for anyone to have to make though

Kittiekat · 27/08/2005 22:46

I voted for Tony and I've just signed onto the register

Original poster
misdee · 27/08/2005 22:47

i was hitting redial so many times i think i wore the phone out!

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SueW · 28/08/2005 03:51

We've all been on the register for ages, including DD. It's always been second nature to me from the first time it appeared on my (provisional?) driving licence years ago. Then all of us have made sure again and again when we've had to change doctor surgeries.

Like Wallace, I really considered the possibility of really being asked to make a decision when DD went into surgery. There was no reason to expect or believe that she wouldn't come through but I still knew that one of the first things I would say would be 'take whatever you need to help someone'.

Ameriscot2005 · 28/08/2005 08:03

I'm in the 65% that voted for Lucy. I think her age was the main criteria for me.

Twiglett · 28/08/2005 08:07

I thought Tony

Mytwopenceworth · 28/08/2005 08:17

I watched it, and although I didn't phone to vote, my vote was for Lucy. I have carried a card for years and years and am on the donor register. But. After watching this programme I had the most discussion with dh. I discovered that he would NOT allow my organs to be donated in the event of my death! I said, but it is what I want, why would you not respect my wishes? He insists that he does not believe doctors would try as hard to save you! He says that if you were very badly injured the thought that you could save several people would make them give up a bit quicker! I told him this was rubbish, but he does not believe it. He says he could not give permission to switch off the machines because 'miricles have happened' and people who were told they have no chance have pulled thru. I said not after being declared brain stem dead they don't but he will not have it! So I just said I think that is terrible that you would not carry out what you know are my wishes and he said I want them to do everything in their power to save you, not be thinking about harvesting you!

I think this attitude is one of the main reasons why organ donation is low. I think it would be a good idea for organ donation to be a routine thing. Rather than opt IN, there should be an opt OUT. Unless you register that it is against your wishes that your organs be used after your death, then they should automatically be used without the need to get permission from relatives because, lets face it, 'Mrs Smith your son is dead can we have his heart please?' is not going to meet with the best response in a lot of cases, is it?

Original poster
misdee · 28/08/2005 08:58

mytwopenceworth, did u manage to persuade him otherwise?

as the programme stated they would do their best to save you, its only after you are declared brain stem dead that the organs will be considered.

and did u tell him about peter? sorry for sounding selfish, but sometimes people shock me.

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noddyholder · 28/08/2005 09:05

I was shocked by this programme The ring in and vote for who gets the heart!The criteria for transplant allocation are not based on emotions but hard clinical facts The heart and lung disease recurs in CF patients as it is genetic and so her life expectancy could be shorter than his In spite of this I am still glad for this week of programmes and hope it increases donation Misdee I have been away and hope Peter is doing well with his LVAD xx

Original poster
misdee · 28/08/2005 09:09

they did mention the citerai for the allocation of oprgans, as i said to peter before, its not like they toss a coin, the match up height/weight/ tissue type/blood group etc. and then go through the list to see who needs it. most urgent cases are at the top, but if u dont match the organ, then its goes further down the list.

and the chances of the donated organs being in the same hospital, well, what a storyline lol.

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noddyholder · 28/08/2005 09:19

I couldn't believe the way they showed the recipients hassling the potential donors it was laughable tbh and I think the phone vote trivialised things and put the programme in the same category as reality shows.I think this show would worry people that younger patients are priority but I know many much older people who have had succesful transplants and now live a great life I really hope it is peter's turn soon You really deserve it.

Twiglett · 28/08/2005 10:33

I think they should have said what the actual clinical decision would have been

based on life expectancy I am certain it must have been tony mustn't it

Original poster
misdee · 28/08/2005 11:12

I THINK IT WOULD DE[END ON WHO WAS LIKELY TO DIUE 1ST WITHOUT A TRANSPLANT. I ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS KINDA SNEAKY THEY GAVE LUCY A HEART DEFECT SO TONY WOULD'NT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE LUCYS HEART.

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Original poster
misdee · 28/08/2005 11:12

sorry bout caps.

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Mytwopenceworth · 28/08/2005 12:18

Misdee - no, I haven't managed to persuade him! He is 100% convinced that doctors would let one person die because they think it is better to use one person to save half a dozen! (needs of the many and all that!) I was so shocked! We had a long discussion about brain death but he would not have it that the doctors would do as much to save you if you are a potential donor. He truly believes that they would give up sooner. I think that is so cynical. I hope I live well into triple figures but if the worst should happen I would want my death to count for something - how better than to somehow 'carry on', as part of another person? I think it is awful that my wishes would not be carried out! Either way I would be just as dead, but dh would have me hooked up to machines for 30 years in case medical science advanced to the point where they could cure brain death! I wish there was the option for me to sign something now to overrule the next of kin in the event of my death!!

I didn't mention your Peter, but I did say, like in the programme, how would he feel if his child was needing a transplant and nothing was available because of people like him and so his child died. He didn't have an answer to that and pretty soon said he didn't want to talk about it any more because he found discussing me or the kids dying was too upsetting.

I tell you what though, I'm not leaving it! I'm going to bring it into conversations from time to time! I mean, I'm not making plans to have a premature death, but hell, if the worst happened, far better to have bits of me go on in other people than to have all of me burnt or buried where I do nobody any good! I don't know exactly how many people can be helped by one death, but it must be over half a dozen! (which puts us right back to dh insisting doctors would let you go for those half a dozen and me insisting they wouldn't!!)

noddyholder · 28/08/2005 12:24

It would be much cheaper to preserve one life than perform 6 transplants and then maintain those patients on the medications required.Medical staff are all about preserving life if doctors thought along the save 6 rather than one lines a lot more people would be having transplants I'm sure.I think it is really hard to imagine the reality until you are in the situation but imagine it was your child

Mytwopenceworth · 28/08/2005 12:27

You know, I think I might print out some threads from on here and get him to read them.

Gobbledigook · 28/08/2005 12:28

Was thinking of you while watching Misdee.

I think the programme was a bit silly tbh - I didn't like the way it was done and really it was a bit pointless asking the public choose - based on what? There are way too many factors to consider.

Obviously the aim was to raise awareness of organ donation so of course the programme was extremely valuable in that sense.

I've been on the register for ages. Dh used to have a card but hasn't registered online and he's just been in to ask me to remind him to do it today.

I found the '4 fears' around donation really odd - dh said he'd heard them before but none of them really occurred to me at all. I don't think for one minute medical staff would not try as hard to save you. For one thing - would they even look into you being a donor unless you actually died?? And the one about being sure if you are dead?? I suppose lots of people fear these things but they've never occurred to me.

I think one of the key reasons people don't register and don't discuss it with partners is just because nobody likes to consider their own death - a bit like with wills. Also, when you are a healthy, lively person death just isn't on your mind and if organ donation is not close to your heart in some way or other then it's just not something that comes to mind. That's why raising awareness is so valuable.

I didn't vote but based on the information in the programme I'd have chosen Lucy - really just because of her age. Neither had dependents and for me personally, that would be a key factor although I'm sure decisions in real life are based on clinical parameters - life expectancy, expected response to TP etc etc.