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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

To Leave DD (just 16) at home while we are on holiday??

34 replies

Kiriteme · 10/06/2010 14:31

We are going to France for a few days and my DD doesn't want to join us.She doesn't want a friend to come and stay as she feels this will encroach on time with her BF and he can't come and stay as he has been banned from the house (long story). Up until 6 months ago, if we left her babysitting for an evening, she wouldn't go to bed as she said she was scared but now she thinks she'll be fine in the house alone for 3 days/nights. Any advice???

OP posts:
colditz · 10/06/2010 14:33

Sure she'll be fine in the house, she has her boyfriend there to shag her silly.

you are insane if you think this won't happen. It's up to you how you'd feel about her doing this, I'd be ok as long as contraception is sorted, but as her boyf is banned from your house I'm guessing you hate him.

HurleySatOnMe · 10/06/2010 14:33

I wouldn't let her, no. Especially if there is a banned boyfriend on the scene, they will end up having a three day love in . At 16 she should be old enough to be left alone and trusted, I know I certainly was, but by the sounds of it she's not.

potplant · 10/06/2010 14:34

Are you expecting her to observe the BF ban?
Perhaps she isn't anticpating being alone in the house?

ladysybil · 10/06/2010 14:35

the banned boyfriend is the issue, not the staying alone for three days at the grand old age of 16

cory · 10/06/2010 15:47

What everybody else is saying. Should be fine otherwise, but given the banned boyfriend, this would be mad.

Monty100 · 10/06/2010 15:56

I would. But then my dd hasn't got a banned bf in which case I'd be asking for trouble!

SleepingLion · 10/06/2010 16:01

It seems painfully obvious that she isn't expecting to be alone, that the boyfriend will move in for the three days about five minutes after you leave the house.

Or am I missing something here?

brummiemummie · 10/06/2010 16:46

"He can't come and stay as he has been banned from the house". Yes, and you think your DD will uphold that ban while you're in France? If you don't want her boyfriend in your house/your DD's bed then don't leave her home alone, it's as simple as that.

If he has been banned from the house, he has clearly done something pretty horrific so IMHO you would be mad to let her stay home alone. If you liked him and trusted him, then I would say fine, leave her - but seeing as he's banned, I'm assuming he's not to be trusted.

herbietea · 10/06/2010 16:53

This reply has been deleted

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thelunar66 · 10/06/2010 17:03

Tell us why the boyfriend is banned please.

mumeeee · 10/06/2010 19:31

I wouldb't leave a 16 year old on thier own for 3 days, But then none of my 3 Dc's would have wanted to be left on thier own at that age,

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/06/2010 19:34

No

ZZZenAgain · 10/06/2010 19:35

it is definitely to be with the banned bf that she is staying behind and he will be there all the time. She thinks she'll be fine alone in the house because she will not be alone, she will be with him surely?

piscesmoon · 10/06/2010 19:36

The banned boyfriend is the issue-he will be around before you are at the end of the street! It depends on how mature she is and how easily she is swayed by friends. It sounds as if there are too many issues.

PortiaNovmerriment · 10/06/2010 19:37

Is there an echo in here?

No way, would be my answer.

PixieOnaLeaf · 10/06/2010 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cory · 10/06/2010 22:36

I would be happy leaving a responsible 16yo alone for 3 days per se. After all, I stayed in a hotel on my own for 3 days in a foreign country at that age and was absolutely fine. And it is only 2 years before she may be moving from home anyway. But it's that boyfriend, that boyfriend...

AnyFucker · 10/06/2010 22:38

if you want the bf there...go right ahead

if you want to run the risk of the house getting trashed...go right ahead

my answer ? Not ever, no way, no how

Meglet · 10/06/2010 22:40

Carnage IMO.

Original poster
Kiriteme · 11/06/2010 11:35

Think I must've come across as pretty niaive judging by some of the blunt replies. Generally DD is open, honest and respectful of boundaries.She told me sometime ago that they were having a sexual relationship and although I don't condone it (she is at present still only 15), I was pleased that she felt able to talk to me about it. Some of your replies have been helpful in that it has made me realise that although I trust her and she would want to stick to the rules, he is a manipulative bully and the pressure on her would be too great therefore the problem is him not her. It is a shame as I would like to be able to give her the responsibility but while he is on the schene it's prob just not possible.

OP posts:
Chatelaine · 11/06/2010 13:26

I'm with Colditz. I'll just add that imo she is punishing you for banning boyfriend. Also, if she can't see through him because it's all so thrilling, do you trust her not to have any T,D & Harriet round your home? Can you make the prospect of France a lot more applealing... even if this does smack of bribery, and sort out the bf thing later on. It's France! Buy her some new clothes especially for the trip if you can afford it.

Chatelaine · 11/06/2010 13:27

Your daughter is 15 and under age, how old is the boyfriend?

HurleySatOnMe · 11/06/2010 13:29

Your dd is below the age of consent. I'd be doing more than banning the blimming boyfriend from the house tbh

EddieIzzardismyhero · 11/06/2010 13:30

Kiriteme, my parents left me home alone when I was that age cos I no longer wanted to go on holiday with them.

I was told no bf (but they didn't dislike him in the way you do!).

He came round the moment they drove down the road.

Just the way 16yr olds are I'm afraid.

I didn't have any parties or anything though cos other friends had already done that and the stories were horrendous .

supersec · 11/06/2010 13:39

Is there not a relative she can stay with? I think there are too many things that can go wrong leaving a 15 year old on their own.

I was watching This Morning a few months ago and a mother phoned in asking what punishment she should give to her 15 year old daughter as the house got trashed when she left her and her older sister for a week.

She said no punishment at all as it was the mother who was in the wrong for leaving her.

15 is way too young.

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