To Leave DD (just 16) at home while we are on holiday??

[Kiriteme]

We are going to France for a few days and my DD doesn't want to join us.She doesn't want a friend to come and stay as she feels this will encroach on time with her BF and he can't come and stay as he has been banned from the house (long story). Up until 6 months ago, if we left her babysitting for an evening, she wouldn't go to bed as she said she was scared but now she thinks she'll be fine in the house alone for 3 days/nights. Any advice???

We went to Paris a few months ago and left DS1.
he of course had a party but we knew he would. The give away was that the house was tidy when we got home - he never would have cleaned up if he wasn't worried about being in the shit.

We knew we could trust him. We knew his girlfriend would come over but I know they are sensible so whilst I would not chose for that to happen, neither do I have any great or reasonable objections.

But if she was banned from visiting I would not have left him as, as trustworthy as he is ,that temptaion would be too much for him.
Part of trusting him is only giving him responsibility that he can manage.

So no. I would not leave my DD in your circumstance. Botfrind will come over. Without question

Should say DS1 is 16 , soon to be 17.

Of course a 16 year old should be able to be left for 3 days. Good god - you can leave school and be working at that age. And legitimately be having a sexual relationship.

The issue here is different - its that your dd was having underage sex, and you banned the bf from your house, which now clouds the whole thing of what's going to happen when you go away.

But in terms of leaving a 16 year old for 3 days - well,I am truly shocked that anyone might think it's not ok. No wonder so many young people are bloody useless at taking responsibility!

We have left dd2 (16) and DS (12) at home for two days/1 night, & all was fine, however:

My mum lives only 20 mins away & could be called on in an emergency

There was no boyfriend (banned or otherwise) involved - as other have said, that is the problem in this particular situation

very much depends on the children.

i have twins a boy and a girl. we went away for the weekend and told ds he needed to arrange to stay at a friends and told dd she could stay at home and look after the dog. the has proven herself to be more trustworthy time and time again.

he hasn't - so hard shit matey, stay at your girlfriends or your brothers house.

it worked well

the point of this post was to show you that two kids same age - brought up by same parents in same environment - are still...not the same. so depends on the child

Personally I wouldn't leave a 16 year old alone, no. And you are being very naive if you think that she won't ask the boyfriend around.

Silly to ban boyfriend anyway, imho - surely, if she's seeing him, it's better that you maintain some kind of relationship with him?

I would agree with everyone that the boyfriend is the issue, not being alone at that age.

Can't you tempt her to France? I am taking teenage DDs to France this summer and we're all looking forward to it.

You know that your house will be trashed don't you? All night parties for her mates. Is there a neighbour who can keep an eye on everything for you?

Do you have a relative who would stay at your house with your dd while you are away?