Daughter getting married at 16

[lturner10]

My daughter has just informed me that her boyfriend proposed to her on her 16th birthday last weekend. They have known each other since primary school and started 'going out' when they were 14. My husband and I have been very supportive of their relationship and her boyfriend is very sweet and clearly cares a great deal for her. We were shocked by the news of their engagement as, whilst my daughter is probably much more mature than many of her peers, she is still very young. They will of course need parental consent to get married and my husband and I are compeltely at a loss with what to do. They have said they will have a low budget wedding and seem to be thinking very seriosuly about making it happen in the next year. Any advice on this situation would be greatly appreciated. Has anyone else gone through the same thing? Does anyone know of any young people getting married so young and it turning out well?

Thanks,

Louisa

If you get married at 16 and have a child soon after (and that tends to be nature's way) your life is over. It is that simple. Your wants and needs will never be paramount again. And at 16 they still should be.

I met and got engaged to my DH at 16 and he was 20. We were engaged after only being together 3 months and I moved in with him after 2 months. My parents were adamant that I wasn't moving out, but they couldn't stop me. I was in love and wanted to be with him all time. We did wait another 4 years before getting married and we've now been married for 11 years and have 2 dds and DSD. I'm now 31.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I do wish I'd listened to my parents. I pretty certain that if I'd stayed living at home I would have finished my A Levels and gone to university. We have had and still have so many financial problems which date back to living together so early. We've had a pretty bumpy ride over the past 15 years and we're currently waiting for a Relate appointment as our marriage is in a bad place.

Have you discussed with them were they would live? My situation was a little different because DH already had his own flat so I just moved in. But if they have no where to live that would be the first hurdle. I definately wouldn't be giving my consent if it was one of my dds. Not sure how that would go down though.

where

Why don't you suggest they wait until they are 18 (buy some more time to see of they are really serious about each other), then throw them an engagement party, so they know you are supportive of their relationship. So you're not giving your consent at this time, but you are supportive in the long term, iyswim.

Cammelia it doesn't always happen that you have a child soon after so young. I moved in with DH at 16 (ok we didn't marry until I was 21) but we waited another 8 years before having children. I was 24 when I had dd1.

I know Karma - the reason I have such strong views about it is because I did it !

And my father wished later that he hadn't given me permission !