Teenage DD Riding Pillion on Boyfriend's Motorbike

[Evenstar]

My DD's boyfriend has taken her out on his motorbike for the first time today, he is very sensible, has passed his test and has had proper training. However as the daughter of an A & E nurse and a father who worked in the funeral trade I am painfully aware of the number of fatal motorbike accidents and in particular how pillion riders often come off worst. In addition I was widowed suddenly 20 months ago, and a policeman came to my door with the news of my husband's death, I know now that if my DD is out on the motorbike I will be waiting for that ring on the doorbell. I have told her how unhappy I am, and even told her the tragic story of a girl I knew in 6th form who died as a pillion passenger on a close friend's bike. Am I being unreasonable or overprotective as DD seems to believe? I have asked her to make it clear to her boyfriend that I am unhappy about her riding pillion, and said to her that each time she does it, it will be against my wishes. There is really nothing more I can do is there? She is nearly 18, I would just like some opinions and/or strategies for dealing with this difficult situation.

Evenstar when I was 13 I had my first pillion bike ride and was smitten.
I got a job as a teenager and saved all my money to buy a motorbike. But my parents would not let me(worried I would kill myself)
Then I left home, got married...and my husband would not let me buy a bike (er, worried I would kill myself )

......After my divorce , I got lessons, and got my bike licence.....and bought a motorbike.

Yee HA!

I also had a horse for many years, which I rode regularly on the road - much more dangerous than a bike, and no accidents there either, thank goodness

shell, don't feel bad - what you posted was brilliant and this is exactly the right place to have posted it. People can't help but be sympathetic to you as well, especially if they have also lost someone that way. I haven't myself, but one of my best friends from school died in a car crash aged 19 (broken neck) and a girl I used to work with lost her best ever friend (like a sister) as a pillion passenger aged 23 so I have seen the sort of devastation it can cause.

I have a full bike licence and will NEVER go out without full protective gear. Should your daughter continue to be a pillion w/o protective gear the VERY LEAST she should have is a full face lid, a heavy pair of jeans, proper gloves and boots. By proper gloves I mean ones with armour in them.

I quite often see people riding w/o gloves/good boots and want to stop them to ask several meaningful questions of them. Like do you enjoy having fingers/ankles.

BitOfABoneOfContentionWithMeTiggaxx

Shelleylou, don't feel bad for posting, please? You told it to help, hopefully it will, and you will get sympathy because losing a brother is heartbreaking, you are deserving of it. Anyone who loses a brother is deserving of sympathy. I am still sad that my friend died 10 years ago. I still think about him most days I can still hear his voice in my head. I miss him. I have oodles of sympathy for anyone who has experienced that loss.

Im learning to ride now after putting it off for 20yrs. Hubby has been riding for 10 and Ive been out with him as pillion. We have never been out without full protective clothing thought. Not worth the risk.
He is a police officer and I am an ex one and weve seen far too many accidents involving bikes. The majority of bike accidents to involve youngsters and inexperienced riders.
As part of the CBT your DD bf would have had the talk on protective clothing etc. It is sad to say that the law only states that you have to wear a helmet when riding.
However I would question how much he really cares for your DD is he is willing to take her our in minimum clothing irrelevant of what he himself wears.
It shouds like he really doesn`t give two hoots about either of them.
Personally I would go down the giult trip road. How would he feel if they had an accident and she got injured because he took her out withour proper gear etc.
No matter how safely he rides its the other dick heads out there that present the problems.

Now, just before I started riding my first bike(legally )29 years ago yesterday; my parents(well Mum actually)told me that I had to take out insurance so that if I did kill myself, there'd be enough money to cover my funeral. My parents were totally not against me riding a bike and both of them have been pillion at some point, but perhaps it was to test whether or not I was serious and mature enough to do it. I did and thankfully have never had to use it!

I do think also(and you won't appreciate this if you've never been a lover of motorbikes)that riding pillion with 'your man' is very very sexy. She will be addicted to that feeling until she gets used to it and grows out of it.

I had a m/bike from the age of 17 through to 25 because I couldnt afford a car and parking in London is impossible. I survived with the odd bruise. It is perfectly possible.

You can't stop her really and anyway, she's old enough to make those decisions for herself.

However she needs boots with a heavy sole, leather gloves and a jacket with a back protector as a minimum plus a helmet that has been fitted for her. I'd concentrate on getting the right clothes for her and her b/friend.

Perhaps the cost of the kit will persuade her to aim for a car instead.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words and advice, I have spoken to DD this morning and she has agreed we need to look into protective clothing, she has apologised for her attitude last night and in fairness pointed out that boyfriend does now have extra gear himself, proper jacket, boots and gloves. Thank you Shelleylou for sharing the story of your DB, I told her about him and I think she was very shocked and it brought home to her the danger she could be in.

That's great to hear. If you shop around there are quite a lot of discount bike clothing places (advertised in the bike mags) and once you have the kit, you have it for ever (at least as long as it fits you ). 18th birthday present?

Its ok evenstar, had it deleted as it was quite identifiable and think id put too much due to current circumstances. Pleased it may have helped her realise and she is taking it seriously. It is quite shocking to me still and i've had time ti try process it. Good news re the bike gear.
Theres a bike show in peterbough if your anywhere near there. think its a couple of times a year where you can get good deals on equipment. Should be similar things around the country i would have thought