Should I be worried about it? Teen girl outing

[Teenagerparenting]

DD15 dressed up, put makeup on and said if she could go and meet her friend (girl) at the local park around 5pm. I thought it was a bit strange as her friend lives a bit far and it was a bit last minute but I let her go.

She was in the park for about 30min and we tracked her location. She is normally a sensible teen and listen. but I don’t think she always tells me everything and as all teens can do silly stuff. She is not parting, drinking, smoking.

When she came back I asked her how was the outing and she said she got the time wrong, didn’t meet her friend; I asked her if she was there alone all the time and she said yes.

The whole story just doesn’t add up to me; but I am not sure what I can do.

What are your thoughts? Am I been paranoid? We have had conversations about safety, meeting strangers, etc.

She is off again; the meeting was art 7pm; she was actually on the phone with her friend. I asked her to be home in an hour as is too late and she got school tomorrow.

What worries me is why she had to dress up and wears so much make up; but she does enjoys make up.

Not sure what to think,

Probably meeting up with a boy to snog in the park. If she's not the drinking and partying type, then I wouldn't worry too much yet. Just keep an eye out.

If she was meeting a boy/girl for a snog, how would you react?

The way she was dressed. That may be the case.

It does worry me though if she is doing that. Shouldn’t she wait until having a stable relationship? Let me know.

Should I be calling her mums friend to confirm?

Should I relax? Chill? I was never like that not DD1.

She has asked me when she can have a boyfriend? I asked her if she has met a nice boy but she said she doesn’t like anyone at school.

I guess I would be less worried if she tells me the true so she can start taking precautions.

Lying is what worries me

If she's meeting someone in a park and asking about boyfriends and saying she doesn't like anyone at school it would raise alarm bells for me, how monitored is her online activity? I could be putting two and two together because I work in criminal justice though and see the worst of society

A little bit of snogging in the park is pretty standard at 15. And so is lying to your mum about it!

I would just let her know that you're available to chat about anything and that you won't be angry.

I guess I’m just trying to judge whether she is possibly lying to you as she knows she wouldn’t be allowed to go if it was a date.
I would just reiterate the importance of honesty. Do you monitor her phone?

This is not what I want to hear. My anxiety is off the the roof

Oh golly, I think you are way too overprotective. Let her go. She's growing up and needs some freedom.

I find it pretty disturbing that people track their teens locations, to be honest. It feels really intrusive and controlling. You can say that you are doing it to keep them safe, but I'd have been horrified at the idea that my mother was following my whereabouts by any kind of tracking device.

(Gen X here)

A stable relationship??? She’s 15! Yes she’s probably out meeting a lad and having a wonderful time! Who cares she’s 15 and they’re not going to get up to much in broad daylight in a park! If she’s asked if she can have a boyfriend and she’s being secretive you need to look at yourself, she’s not going to be open and honest with you if you are so judgy!

Do you monitor her online activity? Also you know your child, I don't. How sensible is she?

It is a difficult one; mainly because there is so much stuff out there. I want to trust her and gives her freedom but I want to keep her safe too; she is so young

I think she is mostly sensible and I can be a bit paranoid. Or maybe is a gut feeling she is not telling me the truth.

She’s 15. I’m sure mine was going out meeting friends in the park at that age.

I am going to chat with her when she gets home.

This is why it's important to have an open honest relationship and not set too many rules. There was another thread earlier where the OP had banned her daughter from having a boyfriend until she was 16. That girl is never going to tell her mum the truth.

When she gets back have a chat with her make sure she knows it's ok if she was meeting a boy, get her to open up a little chat about it, maybe tell her about your first boyfriend/crush etc. Hopefully it's a lad from school or a friend of a friend etc who she fancies which is perfectly normal at her age

I will speak with her and try not to be judgmental. I want her to trust me.

This reminds me of controlling boyfriends thinking their girlfriend is off to meet another man because she has dressed up and put make up on. Her movements being tracked.
You need to chill. If she is usually sensible she should be entitled to some freedom and privacy at 15. In 2-3 years she could be moving to the other side of the country for uni with complete freedom and no monitoring whatsoever.

Thank you. I will do

I know.

They grow up so quickly, it all happens in such a short period of time that it takes you completely unprepared,

Mine owned up much later to blatantly lying to me about things she was doing at that age. I was a bit upset as I was always really open with her and would not have stopped her doing age appropriate things - like snogging boys in the park. I think it's hardwired as I was much the same - and I never did anything particularly stupid. I would have had more of a chat before hand if I'd known mind.

@Teenagerparenting if I wasn’t completely comfortable or convinced all was well with the story, I probably would have followed to put my mind at ease.

A stable relationship at 15 ,,they are just finding their feet let her be a teem but keep eye and ear out ,let her know your happy and trustworthy to comfide in