Something instead of devices

[Lifeofboys]

I am looking for some advice and ideas. My boy, 14, is addicted to his devices, as most of them are these days. I am trying to get him into an activity. I have tried cubs/scouts but he didn't like it because it was mostly girls, he hates all sports, I cannot afford music or swimming lessons, he refused the offer of a DoE! He did St Johns ambulance for a while but that was "boring" won't entertain drama. You get my point. Does anyone's teenager do anything a little bit different that I might not have thought of. Maybe something he could add to a CV or just get him out of the house!

My 14 year old does basketball, rugby and in the house he plays Lego…… he’s still fully invested in his screens, but these activities make me feel less guilty about it!

He used to do Lego but lack of space means he has nowhere to display it which is a real shame. I wish there was a club where he could go and do it with other kids

May not help with the getting out the house but my DS loves warhammer. He mostly likes making the models, but does sometimes play with friends.
I suspect he would also like D&D but he hasn’t yet managed to find a group.
He also does army cadets which he loves, but probably does require a moderate degree of fitness. My DS hates team sports but does a lot of running and enjoys parkrun.

Why does he have to "get out the house"?
Maybe try more at home activities.
Lego (as mentioned above), Airfix, reading, playing drums (apologies to your neighbours), cooking, jigsaws..... anything really.
What did he play with when younger?
Edit: he doesn't need to display all his Lego. Technically you only need one set.
Build, take apart, build something else....

So take the devices off him? And let him have them back 1 hour in the evening and 2 hours at weekend. He’ll soon find something to do. You shouldn’t have to mollycoddle him like this

He does D&D at school and loves it, but same that there is no local kids clubs doing it. I wish I had the time to start one.

@Lifeofboys is there any gaming cafes in your area?
Despite the name they aren't about computer games.
They often do things like Pokémon or Yu Gi Oh tournaments and board games. Sometimes Lego building groups.

Because I want to encourage him to meet new people and find some new interests. He sits in the dark with headphones on and I do not think its good for him. He reads when I ask him to. He used to love space and researching it and drawing, but he says these things are boring now.

Is there anywhere he could volunteer locally?

for me its warhammer, then photography, cycling, urbex, general airfix, and i do like studying car engines and doing mechanics im quite the mix of intrests

Asking for ideas is not mollycoddling.

Another one suggesting local gaming cafes for D&D, other board games and Magic the Gathering?
Word of warning is that MTG can get very expensive if he wants to start collecting the cards!

I have been thinking about this. Like in one of the elderly homes or something? Do you have any other suggestions? I do like the idea of this.

At that age though doing activities out of the home can sometimes feel like more school (forced and not much fun).
Personally for now I would restrict gadget use and encourage him to do some hobbies at home - which then may lead to attending a group/meetup.

I have never heard of Magic the gathering? How can I search for local D&D. I tried looking on Facebook and I could only find adult ones at peoples houses. I thought Stranger Things would have made it huge.

commander player or 60 card decks ?

@Lifeofboys Google "gaming cafes".
They are very trendy right now.
There's a franchise one called Geek Retreat which has branches around the UK.

Yeah I completely understand what you are saying. I have tried thinking and offering painting, reading, bought him a book to write ghost stories because he went through a stage of writing, Lego, his brother has a dart board that he's not interested in. I am stuck. I am in the last 3 months of a degree myself so I feel guilty because I am always on my laptop too. The only other thing he will do for a while is get in the bath, where he is as we speak. I just need one really good idea.

the one in Daventry gaming cafe does 12hr sessions for d and d

This sounds great, hope they have Yorkshire ones! Thank you 😃

In our house one physical activity and one other are compulsory - it's how you earn the things we provide including devices.
Both DCs do junior lifesaving, and Scouts. They also both play one instrument though not very well I have to say! DD also does bike racing and goes to a church youth group. DS used to go to a different group but it clashes with Scouts.
If you think it would be good for them offer a choice but don't make it an option to do nothing.

I am going to look into this. I did not know they were a thing. Thank you

D&d etc will be mostly adults so more suitable for if an adult wants to go too, it’s not an organised activity. Magic the gathering is a card game but again you wouldn’t want him going alone to meet ups. Do you not have a local youth club? They might have supervised groups of these or willing to facilitate setting one up. We have a local cafe that has war hammer evenings which whilst not child exclusive is at least in a public place.

when mine were teens they sung as choristers which is paid, mixed sex and very socialable, pub featured highly with the younger ones having soft drinks.

Get a lego subscription - they send you a set, you build it, take some photos, then send it back and get a new one.

Oh and if you have an outside pool or coastal, lifesaver clubs are good and could lead to paid work from 16, at our lido the lifesaving club teens (14-16) volunteer in return for tuition then become the next generation of lifeguards