Do you allow your girl to wear revealing outfits?

[Anothersunnyday9]

Thought I would be more specific

DD15 wears clothes to school; on a rare sunny day she may wear a very small crop top with small shorts.

Should I say something?

No but my daughter wouldnt dress like that anyway

To school?

Yes; it is a very liberal performing arts school

Depends on how revealing at 15 tbh. Still have a duty of care. Theres a fine line really isn’t there? It isn’t ok to go out half dressed at 15. My 14 year old is all about the sports wear so thankfully haven’t hit that problem yet.

I told her that I worried the top is far too revealing for school. But will leave her to it.

I don’t think I can force it to change it; but express my concern

I should hope most people wear clothes to school.

15 and for school I would put my foot down.

My daughter is now 18 and wears what she likes, sometimes I wonder if she forgot to get dressed but it’s her body.

yes, but wanted to be more specific

Nope. But then I don’t buy them so she can’t wear them.

She is wearing it with jeans; so it doesn’t look as bad. Still quite a small top but I gave her my opinion

She will be 16 this year and buys her own clothes

I don't police my daughters clothes, she is 16. I do talk to her about wearing appropriate clothes for the occasion. For example last week she was in Italy with the school and we spoke about what was appropriate on school trips vs at home. She has Erasmus next week in France and we have spoken about what will be appropriate to wear to school there. If she is going to a party or just around town with her friends she can wear what she likes and is comfortable in.

She does wear crop tops sometimes, she does wear short shorts sometimes, she also wears jeans and hoodie sometimes. It's her choice.

I will follow your approach

Honestly, absolutely not. I see young girls locally walking around in shorts which are just like knickers, and I really do not like it. It is never that hot in this country, or even abroad, to not be able to wear something that would offer some modesty - a lightweight dress, or longer cut shorts, for example.

I totally understand the “their body, their choice” point of view, but I am just not okay with children walking down the street in what is basically underwear.

In the same way I really dislike seeing men walk around topless - a vest is not going to increase your body temperature to an unbearable level.

I mean honestly if she is at a performing arts school in my experience they have a long and prescriptive list of stuff they need to grave for the various lessons.

ballet stuff has cost me a bloody fortune over the years and don’t get me on the price of costumes for the shows.

My teens are a bit older and at 6th form so no uniform. The rule, as everyone should know, is legs or tits. So small shorts & baggy t shirt or tiny top and baggy trousers / maxi skirt. When they've gone too revealing I just remind them that creepy men or boys will perceive their outfit as an invitation for sexual harassment. They are both sensible so I can get away with parenting with a light hand so when I do suggest things they tend to listen.

Thanks. Excellent advice re legs or tits.

She wore small top and baggy jeans so doesn’t look too revealing

I will follow your approach too. Ans remind them that creepy men and boys may see it as an invitation to sexual harassment if far too revealing

Reminding them all that they are wank fodder on SM is also a very good idea. Grim as it is. It is absolutely reality.

“I just remind them that creepy men or boys will perceive their outfit as an invitation for sexual harassment.”

Sadly, that is the truth of the matter. Some girls wear shorts of quite breathtaking brevity!

Will do. It is a very recent thing so wasn’t sure how to handle it. Also she mostly wear other outfits like jeans and hoodies.

Are you mum or dad?

I feel a bit conflicted about it. On the one hand women and girls should be able to wear what they want. On the other, they are too young to fully comprehend men, esp older men basically.

My 13 old wears crop tops with baggy jeans, as do most girls her age. She wears short shorts - because all shorts available for girls are quite short. But with a looser, longer top.

But I have explained that this is all just fashion- either you reveal on the top or the bottom but never both. I’ve not gotten into a conversation about men looking at her. I don’t think clothes are any reason or excuse for harassment basically. So I don’t want to give that message. It’s a tricky one.

Mum

Please DO NOT say that. It is never her fault what creepy men thinking and you've just basically said that if she gets harassed wearing a "revealing" outfit then it's her fault. I teach my daughters they can wear whatever makes them feel happy and confident and separately how to handle anyone acting inappropriately towards them, because clothing doesn't cause harassment.