Daughter wants her boyfriend to sleep over

[ChantsHinch]

My daughter wants her BF to sleep over, in the same bed. My hubby and I are against it. She said everyone (her friends) sleeps over at their BF/GF. They are 19 so they're adults but I just don't feel its right. Im not religious, so its not that, but something doesn't sit well for me. Am I overreacting? When did/would you let your adult kids have a BF/GF sleep over?
Also, to consider is her 14 year old sister in the next room...

Get with the times, ffs. They're 19, and fully grown adults.

My dad didn’t let me and DH sleep in the same bed in his house till we were married but I do think he’s a bit scarred from my brother who had his first child a week after his 16th birthday. I personally think you’re being a bit silly but it’s your house at the end of the day your rules.

I think it's fine. If you're all comfortable maybe just a reminder. "We know you're adults and we know you have sex. Please just be respectful and Understand no one wants to hear or see anything. You're an adult, so we expect you to act like one and respect the other people in the house."

Yeah I would agree. My mum was very strict and wouldn’t allow this and wouldn’t allow me to stay over at my boyfriends at that age and all it did was make me a very sneaky teenager who lied constantly

At 19 and with a steady partner, this should be fine. Just a word about being respectful of others...

It’s not fair on her younger sister who WILL hear everything!!!

As someone who was never allowed to have boyfriends stay over due to strict religious father (although to be honest in my household i think it would have felt too embarassing/awkward anyway) i would say let them, especially at that age.I ended up living most of my social life outside my home, and it did cause issues in the relationship with my parents and also potentially put me more at risk.

And back in the real world where wages are low and prices to rent are high ....

A non issue for me, DD18 asked for boyfriend to sleep over, she only has a double bed. Trust her judgement, they have both only ever been respectful . DS14 in the house, sees two grown up adults happy in each others space, respectful to each other and parents . All good with me . I can imagine however , if I had doubts about the relationship or boyfriend this would be a difficult position .

At 19 my mum let my boyfriend (now dh) stay over in my room. I was sensible and hadn’t had a string of boyfriends. But it took another 5 years before my now in-laws allowed it. We were 24 by then!

😂😂😂😂😂 so many people need to get a grip

Your house but my son’s GF slept over from 16.

DS and his GF are 16 and stay at each other’s houses. It did start off as separate rooms but they have been together for 18 months now. As others have said - both sets of parents (we are in touch) came to a decision that we’d rather it happen in a safe environment than behind a bush etc. lots of conversations about precautions etc continuously take place. It’s not embarrassing. I really like his GF and her parents like having DS there too.
DD is 19 and has not been in a long term relationship and I wouldn’t allow a ONS situation which she knows. I think every situation/ household can be dealt with accordingly.

Not judging but also think a few opinions on here are odd (again only my opinion)

There is no way my 19 year old could afford to move out! Would you rather your older teen DC move out than have sex under your roof?
Also - times have changed. Those who say they weren’t allowed to sleep in the same bed until they were mid 20s / married.. are we not talking about 20/30/40 years ago now? If it’s a long term relationship where the other partner is known / trusted and there are no major concerns then I personally don’t see it as a problem. Fair enough I don’t want to hear it but I would like to think they already know and respect that anyway.