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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

16 year old son wants to go on holiday with gf

37 replies

GL48 · 21/02/2026 09:21

Hi all, just looking for some advice/perspectives. Sorry if this is long.
My son is 16, currently in his last year of high school. He has a gf who he met online, she is also 16 but is one school year above him (college). They’ve been together over 12 months, but only recently met up for the first time. We went with him to meet her and her parents came with her as she lives around a 2 hours drive away from us. After the initial meet we all went our separate ways and they spent the day together in the town centre and everything went well! They speak everyday on the phone for hours. No problems. She seems a lovely girl. They plan to meet up again during the next school holidays.

Last night my son told me he had been invited to go on holiday with them in the summer (UK holiday to a family holiday home but a few hours drive away). And this is where I need advice..? Would you allow your 16 year old to go? He really wants to go, but I can’t deny i worry what the sleeping arrangements would be, he’s also never been away from home without us and does have anxiety issues. We’ve only met her and her parents once very briefly… advice?

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 21/02/2026 09:26

My advice is to speak to the parents about the sleeping arrangements, any financial, contribution, travel arrangements etc. Also discreetly about his anxiety. Be prepared to bail him out if he finds it too much/doesn't want to stay.

Speak to him about sex, consent (both for him and her), his anxiety and backup plans for bailing out.

Send him off with a cheery wave 😀

Farr85 · 21/02/2026 11:05

First response nailed it

pinkyredrose · 21/02/2026 11:06

Let him go, what's the worst that can happen. Her parent's will be there anyway.

mel78y5 · 21/02/2026 11:08

I assumed before opening it was going to be on their own which would feel a bit much (especially as they won’t have spent much time together), but as it’s with family I think it sounds fine. But very much agree with everything the first poster said.

Florin · 21/02/2026 11:17

I would let him go with the normal talk about safe sex. I got together with my now husband when we were 15 and 16. We did wait until I was 16 but quite frankly if they are going to have sex they are going to do it some how. Better to have a talk check they have contraception quite frankly I would be packing some condoms just in case. Our parents tried to go down the road of supervising separate bedrooms etc but we found a way. We have an early teen and plan to allow after 16 as long as they are respectful. Talks about contraception and sex and consent have always been very open in our household as we feel this means they are more likely to be open with us. Our child is not near having a sexual relationship but we have also had the honest conversation that please if they had an oops whether because they got carried away or contraception failure such as a condom failure please come to us immediately and we will help them out with no judgement as prefer they did that rather than them just hoping for the best and it ended in pregnancy.

Northernladdette · 21/02/2026 11:42

He’ll never forgive you if you don’t let him go 🙂

pizzaHeart · 21/02/2026 11:49

I would be a bit reluctant to let him go because of anxiety. So I would sit him and talk about different situations and how he would feel about them. Some people are used to things being certain way and things not being certain way might really affect them.
Also my answer would depend on activities, potential alcohol involvement and sleeping arrangements.
In a way the issue about sex is the easiest as you have only him to talk it through.

Starlight7080 · 21/02/2026 11:53

Her parents sound sensible. I would get the details then trust your son. He is 16 he needs some trust.
And a UK based holiday is great as you can collect him if need be .

Dollymylove · 21/02/2026 11:58

How long is the holiday?.a week? 2 weeks?
Having only met ",in person" recently they might realise they dont actually like each other very much 🤨
Let him go but be prepared for a phone call asking to come and collect him 😀

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 21/02/2026 13:43

It sounds like your anxiety more than his. Let him go, speak to the parents to confirm arrangements, ensure he knows about safe sex and let the lad start his journey into adulthood with your support.

ImpatientlyWaitingForSummer · 21/02/2026 14:44

DisplayPurposesOnly · 21/02/2026 09:26

My advice is to speak to the parents about the sleeping arrangements, any financial, contribution, travel arrangements etc. Also discreetly about his anxiety. Be prepared to bail him out if he finds it too much/doesn't want to stay.

Speak to him about sex, consent (both for him and her), his anxiety and backup plans for bailing out.

Send him off with a cheery wave 😀

Nailed it, I’d do exactly this

Original poster
GL48 · 21/02/2026 20:02

Just to give a little more information…

I don’t actually drive (yet, I’m working on it!) and where they are going is almost a 4 hour drive from where we live, so getting to him if he decided he wanted to come home is going to be a factor.
His anxiety issues can really skyrocket sometimes from the smallest trigger, to put it into perspective I’ve been sleeping on his bedroom floor for the last month til he falls asleep as he’s been having panic attacks, again something we’re working on with help.
He is also the FUSSIEST eater! I’ve tried everything to get him to try different foods but he will literally eat the same meal
over and over. Anytime he has stayed at friends houses overnight he will survive on a bag of crisp because he ‘doesn’t like’ what is on offer, he can’t possibly do that for a full week!

OP posts:
Xerp · 21/02/2026 20:34

There’s no way I would send my 16 year old child away with two adults who I’ve met once for a short period and know very little about.

And that’s without the girlfriend/sex element.

If sexes were reversed, would people be encouraging the OP to send her 16 year old daughter away with a boy and his parents on the same scenario?

Octavia64 · 21/02/2026 20:35

Gosh at that age I was going away with my boyfriend in our own no other adults!

having seen your update this isn’t about his age it’s about his anxiety issues. But if he wants to go….

fruitbrewhaha · 21/02/2026 20:41

Could you and your dh go to holiday in the same area? Do your own thing but be nearby? Your ds sounds like he requires a lot
of support from you.

pilates · 21/02/2026 20:41

I would let him go but I would need to know contraception is in place (if needed) and to
phone you if he is not happy and needs collecting.

pilates · 21/02/2026 20:42

Sorry just read your update

HopSpringsEternal · 21/02/2026 20:48

I went on holiday with my friends at 16 for 2 weeks. Friends of mine left home at that age.

PurplGirl · 21/02/2026 21:13

Xerp · 21/02/2026 20:34

There’s no way I would send my 16 year old child away with two adults who I’ve met once for a short period and know very little about.

And that’s without the girlfriend/sex element.

If sexes were reversed, would people be encouraging the OP to send her 16 year old daughter away with a boy and his parents on the same scenario?

This! The ‘girlfriend’ part is irrelevant (not that they are really - they’ve met up once!). Even if it were with a friend of the same sex, you don’t know his parents/any other adults who are going. They could be unsafe, abusive, careless, drunk, any number of things. Not a chance.

ChikinLikin · 21/02/2026 21:17

She's not his girlfriend, she's his imaginary/fantasy girlfriend. They've met once!
Her parents must be nuts.

gototogo · 21/02/2026 21:21

My dd did, was 17 by the time the holiday rolled around

BruFord · 21/02/2026 21:22

His anxiety sounds quite severe if you’re sleeping on his floor atm. Talk this through with him and explain that you wouldn’t be able to rush up immediately to collect him - so he needs to consider what he’ll do if he feels anxious.

Poptartz · 21/02/2026 21:23

I think it would be a no from me. They have met once. If they build on more face to face meetings maybe but you don’t know these people at all.

MostlyFineActually · 21/02/2026 21:23

Unless I've read this completely wrong here - correct me if I have

In the 12 months they've been, lets face it, chatting online, theyve only recently met in person once?

No. I wouldn't let him holiday with her.

He hasnt met or built up a relationship with her parents, nor have you.

Could we have a reality check here please?

ThemUnsYouseUns · 21/02/2026 21:45

You would definitely need to find out about sleeping arrangements. I really don’t think this particular situation is as simple as giving him condoms and making sure he knows about consent and safe sex. He has only just physically met her - if it turns out he’s expected to share a bed with her for a week/2 weeks/whatever, this is a very intense scenario for a sexually inexperienced teenager with significant anxiety issues, surely?

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