DD15 chatting to a boy on the phone

[Teenrelationship987]

In her bedroom now; heard some stuff about school. Not sure who he is but I am panicking a bit. I am not ready for this, hoping she doesn’t go into relationships until 18 when she finish school.

She has not mentioned anything, may just be a friend but I am getting a bit nervous here.

Any advice on how to manage my worries? I know is normal and part of growing up.

Will speak to her when she finishes. Everything is happening so quickly that took me by Surprise; going out more with friends into town, etc.

You need to chill.
She needs to have normal relationships/ friendships with boys.

How delightfully retro of her!

She’s 15 and talking on the phone to a boy? I think if this is your only issue, she’s doing okay….

WTH??? 🤦‍♀️

I know I need to chill. I think I need some sort of therapy; definitely my own issues and insecurities.

I am going to sleep and speak to her tomorrow. I have been managing quite a lot of anxiety with her growing up so quickly and with me letting go. I thought I had it under control.

Chatting with her actual voice? Not sending pouts on TikTok or semi nude snapchats? You're doing well 😅

If you show her how anxious you are about her growing up and doing normal teenage stuff, you will push her to become more secretive.

This is odd? My son is 14 and talks to girls and boys on the phone 😂

It’s good that you recognise that this is an issue of yours and not hers. This is completely normal. DD (now 18) and DS (15) both have wide mixed circles of friends and both have been in relationships, as have most of their friends.
Of course there are some that don’t end up in a relationship until they are 18 and older but I wouldn’t consider this the norm.

Personally I don’t even think it merits a conversation unless you are particularly worried about anything you heard

I am trying not to show my anxieties. I know I really need to trust her and let go. It is not easy, I all seem to happen all of a sudden( since the start of year 10 in September.

I am not sure why I manage so much paranoia. I was taking to my sister whose daughter is 15 and she is the same; probably worse. Maybe it runs in the family, or because of growing up in South America.

What are your anxieties OP? Did you by any chance have a tricky teens and you’re desperate to stop her making similar mistakes?

What do you mean you are going to "speak to her" tomorrow? About what? Why?

She had a phone conversation with a boy - what is there to speak about? It is simply normal life. Leave her be.

I have 3 adult DDs - they did a lot of talking to boys on the phone when they were teens. No problem.

Maybe it runs in the family - maybe what rins in the family? Being a normal young person growing up?

It runs in the human race - not just your family!

Truly, you must leave her be.

No really. I had good teenager years and a nice time at university. I liked boys growing up but didn’t have my first boyfriend until early 20s. I felt my mum gave us freedom but somehow me and my siblings suffer from
similar anxieties.

My mother and father separated when I was 15 and he went to live with a woman half his age. Maybe it was that?

Honestly I don’t know. I am trying hard to let go. I really hope I am not transferring all my fears, anxieties and worries to them. I tend to think the worse; maybe I am a control freak; not knowing what they are doing on the internet causes me worry. I am trying to work on myself though; it is not a nice way to live.

The anxiety I meant.

Speak to her about what?

Unless she is at a single sex school she will be talking to boys at school. DD had her first proper boyfriend at 15. They went out for 4 years.

You need to chill. It is quite normal for girls to be interested in boys at 15. I know I was.

I’ll be very surprised if she doesn’t have a boyfriend before 18!

She sounds rather low key though, talking on the phone!

Don’t bring it up…. Let her come to you if she wants.

Sorry OP but it’s completely deluded to think she wouldn’t speak to a bot on the phone until she’s an adult.

She’s young, let her have a bit of fun. And don’t let her clock on to your feelings.

Thank you all; will let her live her life and work myself on learning to let go.

She used to go to a girls school until year 9 which she was desperate to leave; in a new mixed school since year 10 which she is embracing and gaining in confidence, socialising, etc, I am happy for her her. I need to trust her and work on my fears. I know I am being ridiculous,

You say "It's all happened so quickly" but all she is doing is talking on the phone. You are aware that she probably speaks to boys in real life too if she goes to a mixed school? Even if she has a boyfriend you are getting way ahead of yourself. It is totally normal at this age, it doesn't mean it's serious or will take over her life.

My DS is 12 and he talks to girls (and boys) on the phone all the time. It's not a bad thing for girls and boys to communicate and have friendships with each other.

My daughter is 15 and some of her closest friends are boys! She has lots of friends who are girls and lots boys. They are all friends together. I don’t think this automatically means they will start going out. Please try not to worry this is completely normal for 15 year olds.