DD15 chatting to a boy on the phone

[Teenrelationship987]

In her bedroom now; heard some stuff about school. Not sure who he is but I am panicking a bit. I am not ready for this, hoping she doesn’t go into relationships until 18 when she finish school.

She has not mentioned anything, may just be a friend but I am getting a bit nervous here.

Any advice on how to manage my worries? I know is normal and part of growing up.

Will speak to her when she finishes. Everything is happening so quickly that took me by Surprise; going out more with friends into town, etc.

I would be more worried if a 15 year old girl never spoke to boys at all. Communicating with both boys and girls is normal, whether you're a boy or a girl. Even better if it's done by actually speaking rather than messaging.

IME 15 is an age where it’s normal for them to pull away from you which can seem like a sudden big change, but then they will usually come closer to you again later when they’ve calmed down a bit. Your job is to be patient and there as a safety net but you have to allow some independence. It’s not so much ‘letting go’ entirely but allowing a bit of elasticity.

I’m glad you took the advice on board. There’s really nothing for you to talk about - assuming you’ve had all the important talks by now about consent and staying safe and protecting herself against STDs and pregnancy? (Not saying this is what is happening but it will probably happen eventually). She should be able to talk to friends on the phone without you worrying or mentioning it at all. You don’t want to encourage her to be secretive.

Sounds great
I’d love it if ds actually spoke to people (girls or boys!) on the phone as he only communicates with his mates through WhatsApp and voice notes! Good for her

This is how teens develop.

One minute you have a happy child who has been waking you up at 5am each day since birth, then suddenly they can’t wake up in the mornings and are grumpy.

One minute you are having to remind them to use the shower every day, suddenly they are never out of the bathroom.

Its a time of upheaval and working out who and what they are, wild hormone rushes, learning more independence and to manage their own relationships. Keep a loose reign but with clear boundaries. eg curfew on school nights but more liberal at weekends, if they go out with friends they can stay late but are not allowed to travel home on their own (even if it means a late call).

You don’t need therapy - most parents find this an anxious time - but talking with friends and family who have been through this stage is likely to be helpful. Especially friends who know your child.

I have a 15yr old daughter and she has a mix of male and female friends. A couple of her closest friends are boys and she talks to them constantly on the phone and hangs out with them all the time.

My son is 13 and has always had friends who are girls. He talks to them on the phone and plays online games with them.

It's really normal. You can't help how you feel but you really need to try and be rational about it. You will push your daughter away and make her be secretive if you make a big fuss.

Thank you. Everything happens so quickly and really take you by surprise and without any preparation.

I am working on the letting go of the need to control and know everything but at the same time having boundaries and being there when they need me.

I am working on the letting go of the need to control and know everything but at the same time having boundaries and being there when they need me.

Sounds a perfect strategy to me!

I feel the same as you OP and my daughter is sixteen! It is all normal. My daughter was chatting to a couple of boys on Snapchat and I was so worried it all fizzled out. But like you time has whizzed by and I don't feel ready. On the other hand my son is 22 years old and doesn't have a girlfriend yet I keep hoping he will meet someone lovely soon.

Don't project your own issues or insecurities onto your dd.

At the age of 15, talking on the phone to a boy is NORMAL.

Jesus Christ.

my two best friends were male 😂

you need to calm down.

Talking on the phone?! That's great that she has managed to find a 15 year old boy whose able to hold a decent conversation. Tell her to marry him!

Yes I agree…wonderful 🙂

You need to get a grip. Encourage her to be open with you so don't prompt her or over react. Encourage her to bring her friends ,any of them , home, but don't go overboard and don't make a fuss. Just let it take its course. Do not put her in a position where she feels she has to lie to you to get by.⁹