Teens refusing to help clean up.

[TeenTroublesss]

My teens refuse to help me clean the house, what do you do in this situation? I have already taken their phones and they won’t be getting them for the day. They never leave the house so I wouldn’t mind if they did but having them sit indoors watching me clean and refusing to help is particularly annoying, they’ve always been made to help from a young age so it isn’t that but as they’ve got older they are refusing to help. I warned them with plenty of notice that we needed to do a big clear out this weekend.

Probably less than that to be honest

We have 2 sofas in this room, plus an armchair

The sofa I am sitting on arrived before Christmas 2024

We removed the sofa we already had a few weeks prior to await delivery

I cleaned the area where the sofa had been, wipe the skirting boards and everything

I probably wont do it again until we replace this one.

In the conservatory, we have a sofa and 2 armchairs.

I get behind the sofa, maybe in the spring, to hoover as best I can but I cant quite get behind it that easily.

I would arrange for the Feb half term that its a spring clean and set out a schedule for them to follow, with rewards and treats at the end of the day

The internet and phones wont be available that week.

I would do that but it needs cleaning sooner than that I have a lot to do like replacing kitchen flooring, repainting, replacing carpets all which I will be doing myself so will probably do that in the half term.

Ask them to do it, either with bribes or turn off wifi electric.

Going forwards draw up a rota schedule so they clean at least once a week, if they don’t do the task then no allowance or treats or drop offs anywhere etc.

Are they loving and respectful of you now? Do they realise how tough they were to handle when they were younger? Do they show you appreciation?

How old are they? Do they usually do chores or are you doing everything including cooking, laundry etc?

I always had cube boxes and when tidying etc, if got put in that person's basket on the stairs. If they are 14+ and capable of cooking , id concentrate on doing the deep clean and letting them fend for themselves, no cooking no laundry. I am assuming from the info you've given its an estate agent or similar.

Ive always had mine help since they were very young, granted they would just walk about with a duster to start but they know what's expected now when I say deep clean. The younger one 13 gets the staircases and hallways and I will help her with her room as shes ADHD and gets overwhelmed, the older 18, weirdly opts to do the kitchen or bathrooms, but she loves cleaning.

It is not helping, it is being a part of the family and contributing to everyday life. They need to realise that space is shared, so is everyday life and chores.

Oh yes, now they are all wonderful. I don't know if they realise how bad they were - five kids all very close in age would always be fairly tough to handle, I suspect, plus I was exhausted most of the time working and managing them singlehanded. Four went to University and none went to prison, I see that as a result.

Well this is key to your problem. They should be cleaning up after themselves as soon as they’re old enough. It’s non-negotiable.

And unless you’re all getting home at midnight every night, of course there’s time to keep on top of cleaning during the week. That way you don’t have a huge clean to do at the weekend. Little and often, and everyone pulls their weight by cleaning up after themselves and contributing to the household.