14yr old old with ADHD - exhausted from it

[Newname29]

My daughter is 14 and diagnosed with ADHD. Her behaviour and attitude has gotten worse and Ive had enough. She is very sociable and is in a sports club and drama group. She point bank refused to go to drama tonight because her 2 friends weren't going. She was at this nonsense beifre Christmas .

I asked her at Christmss if she wanted to rejoin and she said yes. I warned her that meant going even if her friends weren't going and ahe said ikay so last week I paid £100 for the term.

Last week she was sick.and now this week refusing to go. Ive taken her phone and cleared her Rwvolut of the money for the money for the class so she has nothing in it. I'm so sick of her attitude. I got called a cunt today because I spoke to her about being late for school again yesterday. OH is constantly called fat and a feak.

I know kids with teenager are less nature but this is unreal. I am kot putting up with this anymore. Its so embarrassing to contact the lady from the club once again because she is too immature to go without a friend.. I wouldn't mind but she is so friendly and makes friends really easily too.

I dont even know why I am posting. I am so upset. Ive given her so much support and been her advocate for so long over the years in school snd in life.

Exactly. There are times when she loses track of time and its pure ADHD. The school thing is deliberate

I absolutely do not use the C word and hate it. We do generally have a very good and close relationship thankfully.

He's exasperated by it as he gets a lot of verbal abuse directed at him. He has ADHD too and massively struggles with time management. He agrees the being late to school is deliberate and not ADHD related

5 minutes late to school. She doesnt miss any classes in school

5 minutes is nothing you need to unclench.

She has an older brother. They generally get on very well

I was talking about drama classes

It is in her school. She gets late notifications and detention. And she is deliberately doing it to push boundaries with us and them

He was disgusted and had a chat ro her about it

6 drama classes.

So she’ll get some detentions, natural consequences she might decide it’s not worth it ultimately what’s going to happen seems like a lot of drama for nothing.

Hopefully she will just decide ro go in on time. Because she is consciously pushing that boundary at the momwnt and creating unnecessary stress on herself

Not being able to go to a club without certain friends being present is a form of social anxiety.

For ND people, fixed ideas usually arise as a strategy to manage anxiety. Anxiety doesn't always present the way you think it would in ND children - or adults.

Is there any possibility your DD could be AuDHD? Just saying as this is not unlike how my AuDHD DS16 could be a couple of years ago. Convinced he wouldn't enjoy things or something bad would happen if his friends weren't there. Unfortunately, the days when they can't go to things and the frustration of paying for something that isn't as used as you'd hoped are part of life with ND kiddos. She likely isn't intending to waste your money.

The swearing at you and name calling are a separate issue, as others have said. I've always come down hard on my two for any disrespectful, unkind or mean behaviour (aside from when in a genuine meltdown where there isn't any control). ND does not cause or excuse that.