Dangerous music spotify daughter getting down

[Bumblebeesssss]

9 months ago DD was getting very down about school; a bit if self harm; I noticed she was listening to some depressing music in spotify which makes her more down and depressed. We had a chat, put more controls, started spending more time together, changed schools and she was happy, self harm stopped. We stopped spotify premium for awhile.

2 days ago something happened at school which got her a bit down; noticed a bit of self harm again; yesterday I spoke to her and she said she was feeling very sad again and feeling like she lost herself; like she was not heading anywhere. I had a chat, offer therapy which she said yes, etc.

Now just decided to look at mobile phone, and found the following albums:

I might kill myself
I fucking hate myself

So basically when she is down she goes into this depressive stage and start listening to depressive music which makes sink further.

She is now scheduled for therapy
I will have another chat with her reg music
I will stop spotify again

Any other advice welcome

Hopefully I am not like your nan; but we all the dangerous content out there is normal to feel concerned as you don’t have access to all the things they are influenced by; when you didn’t grow up with all that stuff either,

Hopefully you are doing a better job as a parent; being a parent has never been easy but it has become worse with the access to social media; on top of everything else.

Hopefully she can see the Therapist soon as she can guide her better.

But why those tittles

Thank you all for the advice. It helps

As someone who has been there music doesn’t cause you to be depressed. People seek out sad music because they’re already depressed and the songs feel relatable. In the same way a break up anthem wouldn’t make you dump your partner but might be on repeat if you’re already going through the break up.

For those who have suffered similar strong feelings as a teen what do you suggest for me as a parent? Apart from the Therapist; offer love and support. It makes me down seeing her so down; slept little last night and can’t focus at work today (WFH). I think I look awful. Coffee it is.

I had strong feelings as a teen too sometimes; cried myself to sleep sometimes but never self harmed; got up the next day and kept going. I don’t think I had much parental support to manage my emotions; was sent to my room to deal with them. Perhaps my mum worried; I don’t know, she had plenty on her plate with 4 teens on her own after my father left. Not sure how she coped. We had other worries so those teens emotions took a back seat I think.

You had a very similar upbringing to me then, very difficult and nobody seemed to care much really. Awful when we are trying to change our own experience and do the best for our children and they still end up this way. I really feel for you.

The point is, it won't be the music causing the suicidal thoughts! People who are depressed listen to depressing music. Shocker.

I am not sure; my mum was caring and sacrificed lots for us; ensure we were healthy, safe and didn’t go without, have an education, etc. I am so grateful for her and feel she is very strong raising 4 hormonal teens alone when she never worked before, yes, she didn’t have enough time for strong emotions, but that was her experience growing up too and she had many other things to worry about including feeding us. It is not easy being a parent.

Thankfully we didn’t have the internet and social media those days just to add another worry.

I think she cared a lot but couldn’t sort everything. I feel I had a good childhood and teenagers; just had to work out on how to manage my emotions as we were never that expressive in our family or show affection; affection and care was shown with food.