Dangerous music spotify daughter getting down

[Bumblebeesssss]

9 months ago DD was getting very down about school; a bit if self harm; I noticed she was listening to some depressing music in spotify which makes her more down and depressed. We had a chat, put more controls, started spending more time together, changed schools and she was happy, self harm stopped. We stopped spotify premium for awhile.

2 days ago something happened at school which got her a bit down; noticed a bit of self harm again; yesterday I spoke to her and she said she was feeling very sad again and feeling like she lost herself; like she was not heading anywhere. I had a chat, offer therapy which she said yes, etc.

Now just decided to look at mobile phone, and found the following albums:

I might kill myself
I fucking hate myself

So basically when she is down she goes into this depressive stage and start listening to depressive music which makes sink further.

She is now scheduled for therapy
I will have another chat with her reg music
I will stop spotify again

Any other advice welcome

She said she doesn’t want school to know

Waiting for GP to open to get an appointment, then get myself to sleep for a bit. I don’t think I can work today

It’s always been pretty normal to listen to sad music when you’re feeling sad and I do t think it’s actually a bad thing. The music won’t be the cause of her depression and it’ll be something she can relate to that might help her understand her feelings better.

It is so terrible to see your child so down. I hope Therapy helps. It gets me so worried.

Whilst I wouldn’t want to go behind her back, Inwould consider doing it if I thought it was in her best interests but first I would try and get her to agree to discussing with school.

Go on the school website and see what information they have about pastoral support and pupil mental health. I just think it might help her if she has someone outside the home who can check in with her.

https://www.papyrus-uk.org

Charity that offers advice and support re the prevention of young suicide.

Music is her coping strategy and not the cause.

This, don’t be restricting her access even more. It’s not what she needs and it will make matters worse, it better. I hope you can reach the root cause and get her some help, but please let her have the music. I used to sometimes actually howl to some pretty depressive shit; crying my eyes out, screaming, feeling every bit of pain. It helps.

Thank you all. Looks like I am a bit ignorant; there is si much dangerous content out there I feel worry about and while I do agree about listening to sad music and crying when you are sad; it is titles like I want to kill myself and I fucking hate myself which worries me.

I also noticed she sinks further into depressive move when she listens to it so not sure it is helping really; plus the self harming is worrying,

It’s a terrible choice of music!! I can NOT understand why anyone on this tread thinks it’s ok for a depressed suicidal teenager to listen to! How awful 😢

But not music that is encouraging suicidal thoughts! PLEASE!

But it's not clear whether those are actually the song/album titles, or just the playlist title that she has created herself.

If she has named a playlist "I want to kill myself" then of course this is very concerning.

We don't know what the actual music is though. We can't say if the music is depressive or encouraging suicidal thoughts because we don't know what it is. It might not be called "I want to kill myself" - that might be the DD's title for her playlist. It doesn't necessarily mean the music is causing her depression. I agree with those saying that music can be a powerful coping mechanism and can also be a way to express thoughts/feelings that you struggle to understand or verbalise.

This! Are some posters being deliberately obtuse?
There is a massive problem with suicide ideation online.

Find the root cause, it's not the music. You're getting distracted by the wrong thing. It can be good to know you're not alone in finding things hard and to have someone else put words to your struggles through music.

Music is probably the outlet for her feelings rather than the cause of them. Pretty sure we all listened to angry and sad music as teenagers.

Can she discuss antidepressants with the GP?

When I was her age (and still now) my favourite song was called Bullet by Hollywood undead. It's the cheeriest sounding song ever but the lyrics are:

"My legs are dangling off the edge, the bottom of the bottle is my only friend, I think I slit my wrists again im gone gone gone. 💀"

When I was a suicidal and depressed teenager my mum took my phone away, but I still cut myself. My mum screamed at me, I still cut myself. My mum handled it very badly (never got me seen by a therapist or dr, she was ashamed not concerned). I wouldn't cut off Spotify personally, because that may be her outlet (it's my outlet, I have playlists for every mood)

Can you take her to a Dr and see if there's any meds to help her? I'm on multiple meds now for my MH and it's much better but still not great. Get yourself some support if you can too as I'm sure it's draining.

Is she lacking attention in anyway? Like from you, her dad(?), school is she being bullied? What are her friends like, are they similar to her and self harming/depressed?

My arms and thighs are covered in scars, I've managed to cover most with tattoos but I still see them. It's upsetting to look at them and remember how I felt at that time. It can be so hard when you're down to feel like it'll ever get better. I hope you're okay OP and I hope soon she feels more positive.

Thank you. She has lots of support; especially from me. I pick up on her moods and offer love and understanding. It helped a lot 8 months ago and she got through it and was in a very happy place. I am hoping the therapist will help.

Exactly. I think there is music and content that encourages it. She certainly seems more depressed when she withdraws into that music.

Did you see the OP’s other post about this? It’s just the title of a playlist. The artists in the playlist were people like Lana Del Ray, which I don’t think is particularly dangerous music.

People have been blaming ‘dangerous’ music for centuries (Mozart, Elvis, and in my youth Cradle of Filth!). Music can actually be a great healer.

Posting some photos, I don’t much about music

Spoke to the dr; he didnt speak to her; he asked some questions to see if she was in any danger. Asked whether she is accessing any dangerous content, getting things through social media as apparently there is lots out there at the moment in schools.

He said it is for the psychiatrist to prescribe tablets; she was seem once and she said she didn’t need psychiatric treatment but perhaps therapy would be good.

He also said teenagers brains are rewinding and the therapy will help.

None of those songs are suicide ideation.
Honestly, you're adding 2 + 2 and coming out to 120.

You sound very much like my carer at that age. I was similar, very unhappy and music was my outlet. My nan (carer) thought I was suicidal because I listened to a band called The Killers. Yes, really.
She also told my college I was doing cocaine because I had a nose bleed.
Don't be like my nan.

Definitely. Look after yourself too though as much as you can

So these are playlist names not song titles. The songs aren't necessarily gonna be encouraging suicide or anything. I have multiple sad song playlists for when I need a good cry! Music is my therapy. Some of my sad songs aren't really "sad" but to me they are haha.

These playlists were titled by whoever made them, not by your daughter.
She can't help what they've been called, but the music speaks to her. Its her outlet.