Would you ‘let’ your teenager go to a party like this?

[Thedogandme]

This isn’t my teenager involved just seeing what others thing.

I’m talking about 17 year olds. Party is at an air bnb, in the next city. The party host is a stranger/friend of a friend of a friend type thing, and it’s a pay on entry, around 500 people going to be there. Teen would be going with another friend.

No - sounds well dodgy
Yes- they’re nearly adults

Sounds horrific from a mother’s view

seems it’s the in thing but so dangerous

An air b&b that's going to host 500 people?! It'll get shut down within an hour.

Honestly it does sound dodgy. But that probably makes it all the more appealing to a 17 yo. I'd strongly advise against it that's for sure. But at that age on a weekend you can't exactly stop them.

I would contact the Airbnb owner. I doubt they would be happy to hear about this!

I'm sure they air b n b owner wouldn't be happy!

Not a chance. Although, stopping them from going would be difficult.

I think 'harm reduction' is the way to think about this.

• Do they have somewhere to stay after the party that doesn't involve getting in a car with a drunk person? In an area with night buses? Taxi numbers? Someone they can call to collect them?
• If they wear heels do they have some fold up flat shoes?
• Do they know what to do if the place is raided by police? (Ask for a lawyer, don't answer questions until you've spoken to a lawyer, don't accept a caution without legal advice)
• Do they know where to look for harm reduction advice about illegal drugs and safer ways to take them?
• Contraception, condoms, gloves, lubes.
• Consider a buddy systems if going in a group - look after each other.
• Do they know alcohol affects how you experience the temperature - you can get cold and not realise it. Worth thinking about an outer layer of clothing.

Whole thing sounds really not fun to me and I don't think it would ever have sounded fun to me. One of my favourite memories of nights out was a kebab van on the way home - if that's important to the teenager it's worth looking up where the things like that are on the way between the party and where they're staying.

Sounds brilliant tbh.

@independentfriend

• Contraception, condoms, gloves, lubes.

I hope I'm not going to regret asking this, but...why gloves? [mind boggles]

You probably can't stop them but I'd be asking where it is so I can pick them up and then quietly trying to get it closed down via the owners or a tip off to the police

Yay illegal raves

Not in a million years

I know! I was going to ask the same thing 😂 That sounds scarier than the party 😳

i talk to my dd about everything, and hopefully she’s learning some good boundaries of her own. I would probably have said that it sounds risky and that criminal records don’t got down well with future employers, and that sadly, especially as women we have to be careful about putting ourselves in vulnerable situations. Mine is 15, and we’ve already had lots of conversations about our basic values (being lawful, being safe) so hopefully she’d know it wasn’t a good idea. If she asked I’d say that it wasn’t a good idea, but by 17 we need to hope they can make decisions like that independently!

I don’t have much say in the type of parties my DS, 17 attends - I don’t really give him “permission” (he wouldn’t ask!), but just advice on how to be safe. He doesn’t like it when parties get out of control though.

No, I wouldn't let the kids go.

I'd get the address and go myself.

I would be strongly discouraging them, but you cannot and should not ‘let’ a 17 year old go somewhere imo.

It’s no wonder so many young adults lack independence if this is what parents are doing.

Yes, this - sounds really dangerous.

Also, I don’t believe in supporting and encouraging illegal and antisocial behaviour.

I recently saw someone on Nextdoor advertising an “event” they were going to host in their garden in a residential inner London street. Nightmare.