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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much time do you spend with your teens?

43 replies

jmh740 · 09/08/2025 17:36

My youngest is 15 and spends most of their time in their room. We've got into a routine of everyone in their rooms watching TV on their own and I dont know how to change it

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 09/08/2025 17:44

This is why I never allowed tellys in bedrooms, we only have one telly and it’s in the living room.

Whst does your teen like doing? Would they join in a board game? My dd would roll her eyes but join in and enjoy it anyway.

Is there a series you can watch together? Dd and I enjoyed quite a lot of Netflix shows.

Believeitornot · 09/08/2025 17:50

Make sure meals are together wherever possible! My kids also gravitate down for snacks so I try and make sure I’m about for those moments (not when I’m work obviously). I also knock on their doors regularly and ask how they are

VividGreen · 09/08/2025 20:02

I think that's just a teenager being a teenager, as believeitornot said, making meal time together a rule is a great way to spend time together, even if they make out they don't want to, an will appreciate it later in their life.x

Mumontheedge1249 · 09/08/2025 20:20

15 year old is mostly the same as what u described. Horizontal on her bed watching TikTok. She may occasionally come on a dog walk, but even then prefers if she just goes by herself. She likes going out to dinner to take instagram pics 🙄 so we do that once a month probably. Maybe once every 2 weeks she will permit me to watch something with her. I do think it’s very typical.

Sprig1 · 09/08/2025 20:25

My DS is 14yo. He doesn't spend any time in his room apart from to sleep. We are always downstairs as a family.

Notmyreality · 09/08/2025 20:29

Sprig1 · 09/08/2025 20:25

My DS is 14yo. He doesn't spend any time in his room apart from to sleep. We are always downstairs as a family.

Yikes that’s almost as bad but the other way. I’d be worry he needs to learn how to entertain himself.

Notmyreality · 09/08/2025 20:33

This summer we’ve just finished watching the whole of Stranger Things with my 12yo for the 1st time for him. Now looking for another series to do the same.
Also note they always complain about any activity you suggest but inevitably end up enjoying it, be it playing a game, going for a walk, whatever. So tell them this is what we are doing, rather than asking. As the answer will always be no.

tarheelbaby · 09/08/2025 20:37

It all depends. We all are semi-introverts so like a lot of time on our own.

DDs are 15 and 18. They spend a lot of time together in DD18's room or in their own rooms separately. They come out for meals and we bump around in the kitchen together.

There is only one telly in our house but people hardly watch telly these days, it's all on devices: laptops, phones, tablets

DD15 is more sociable and we watch films together, 1 or 2 a week?, more during school holidays.

EwwSprouts · 09/08/2025 20:44

DS is older now but at 15 I was his taxi to sport so we spent at least an hour per week in the car together. Neither of like headphones so we would listen to the radio and chat. All meals were together but that would include a number in front of the TV. Like a PP, no TV upstairs but we have a den he would retreat to for gaming online with friends or watching football with DH.

Bbq1 · 10/08/2025 00:01

We have a series we, watch all together as a, family some nights. I'm close to my ds, he's a fantastic person, I love him very much and I love spending time with him. We go to 80s films together and Comic Con. We usually go for lunch together about once a month. He goes to gigs with his dad. He's very sociable and is often out and about with mates and has an active social life. He also enjoys some time in his room but we still manage to enjoy quality time together.

dylexicdementor11 · 11/08/2025 07:45

jmh740 · 09/08/2025 17:36

My youngest is 15 and spends most of their time in their room. We've got into a routine of everyone in their rooms watching TV on their own and I dont know how to change it

We don’t allow screens in bedrooms. It’s never too late to change house rules. Good luck.

waterrat · 11/08/2025 09:21

I think if you have never allowed screens in rooms you can't imagine how hard it will be taking them out of the room of a 15 year old !

I also regret letting my teen have his phone in his room. He is only 13 but I'm starting to really push back...and try to undo it but hard for it not to b3come a huge source of rows.

PrincessofHyrule · 11/08/2025 09:23

We have several dinners together every week.

Usually one activity a week - an outing, family visit, board game.

Both teens will generally find their way to me and DH individually daily for a chat. Sometimes serious about stuff they are worried about more usually to talk shit and share various tiktoks they've found.

RentRaft · 11/08/2025 09:26

My 13 and 15 year olds don't have TVs in their rooms so spend a lot of time downstairs watching TV here. They like to watch series together and with DH/me too.

We eat together in the kitchen every evening and they are not allowed to take food back to their rooms instead.

They have to help out with things like the dishwasher, washing machine, hoovering, putting the bins and recycling out and taking clean washing to the right rooms which is all quite communal too.

Mine enjoy card and board games, they come for dog walks and to the woods/beach etc.

They all take part in various sports and activities so have to be up and out and getting lifts etc

In general they're still pretty engaged in real life I think.

They are allowed to have their phones in their room but they have digital limits and shut downs

Hiptothisjive · 11/08/2025 09:29

EwwSprouts · 09/08/2025 20:44

DS is older now but at 15 I was his taxi to sport so we spent at least an hour per week in the car together. Neither of like headphones so we would listen to the radio and chat. All meals were together but that would include a number in front of the TV. Like a PP, no TV upstairs but we have a den he would retreat to for gaming online with friends or watching football with DH.

Yes this sounds similar to us but my kids do sport hour times a week and game on weekends so I spend an hour taking them back and forth each time.

Screens have a lot to answer for!

We are very conscious they will be gone in a few years so spend as much family time together as possible which they enjoy.

Cynic17 · 11/08/2025 09:29

I never had a TV in my room, but I still spent most of my time there, especially the evenings. In my case, I was reading. These days it would be laptops or phones.
But I think it's totally normal for teens to want to be in their own space. If you insist that everyone sits at the table to eat dinner (and they do have to eat), then it's fine to all do your own thing after that. Your son is 15, not 5.

PrincessofHyrule · 11/08/2025 09:40

The whole screen issue doesn't really resonate with me. I do agree that both me and my teens spend far too long on phones but my solution is to ensure there are good alternatives - rather than to limit or ban.

And I don't really rate watching TV together as high quality family time. Don't remember it much from my family in 1980s - I was in my room listening to records, reading books and writing letters.

We tend to share series bilaterally rather than as a family - we sometimes have a family film night.

Suspect quality family time is family specific - I know families who have shared sport or hobby focus - that is not us.

Natsku · 11/08/2025 09:54

Definitely eat dinner together, that's a good time to chat about your days etc. And find a series to watch together. I always have something to watch with my 14 year old, right now it's X Files and we watch an episode most evenings.

gingercat02 · 11/08/2025 09:59

We only have one, he's 17. He has a tv and tech in his room. So not a huge amount.
We always eat together in the evening on weekdays and like to have a tv series on the go we all like (race across the world, Traitors, the Rookie, Harlan Corben type drama)
Weekends we eat lunch and evening meal together assuming we are at home. He will still come to the cinema or out for a walk but understandably likes to see his friends too (as teenagers should). He will almost always come out if food is involved.
He's pretty good tbh.

Chickoletta · 11/08/2025 10:06

We’ve got a bit of an unusual set up here which means that DS15 is currently based in an annexe to our house. This means that he’s got a lounge of his own as well as his bedroom and his own TV there. We still spend lots of time together though. I’m off for the hols with him and DD (12) and he will actively seek us out to play a board game/watch a film if we’re not going out. Happy to come for days out - beach, day walks etc. He also has a big hobby which requires evening lifts, so that’s good chatting time! I do think that personal space and being able to be alone are important at this age though.

MissyB1 · 11/08/2025 10:35

Ds is 16. We eat dinner together every day, and have breakfast together in term time - he has a lie in school holidays! He goes out with us somewhere on a weekend, he likes going out to eat or just to a cafe for a drink. Evenings he’s usually doing his weights in his room or chatting to his girlfriend.He’s not allowed his phone in his room overnight to make sure he gets a good nights sleep.

EvieT1 · 11/08/2025 20:50

Well my ds is 14 and other is 12. Both live in their rooms, yes have way too much phone time which is do regret. We have meals together and I do try and get them all out together. Currently watching a series with ds 12 as its a bit old for him and used to with ds14 but he won't anymore, however he plays cricket and can be out for hours on end. It's so tough, but I remember being in my room all the time as a teenager as as far as im concerned, I turned out fine!!

twiceasnice47 · 13/08/2025 19:45

Too much time! They won't leave me alone. They have this thing about family time being important. They are constantly downstairs constantly yapping away. They don't really do social media and are not glued to their phones they just love being out and about with us but we are ready for a bit of us time. When they were 13/14 they were constantly in their rooms (this was over covid though) but if not working or at college at 17 and 19 they just love being with us!!!!! Neither want to go to uni as they don't want to leave us. DH joked about moving the other day to a 2 bed house so they can't come unless they want to share a room!!!!

StMarie4me · 13/08/2025 19:51

Mine are 35-40 now, but when they were teens they formed a band. They wrote their own stuff and were good. Got paid gigs. I bought them a decent amp and roadied for them. Saw loads of them and it was the best time!

DCorMe · 13/08/2025 20:05

More than my parents spent with me at the same age! And I’m 53.