16 year old getting fried to a crisp on holiday

[Frugalgal]

My 16 year old son is on a post GCSE holiday in Greece with his girlfriend and her family. He's fair skinned and we have always made an effort with sun protection,as you do. Her family , on the other hand, are the type to sit out all day on sunbeds and fry themselves to a crisp. His girlfriend loves the sun and has turned dark brown in the couple of days they've been there.

He on the other hand, we can see from the odd photo we've been sent, is burned bright red already..He's spending all day in the pool and of course the factor 50 will just wash off. We pleaded with him to wear a t shirt and/or reapply sunscreen..but he's clearly not and not a bit bothered.

I despair. Is there anything I can say to him besides threatening him with skin cancer while he's enjoying his well earned break?

Your poor daughter

Oh lord!! I hope she recovered ok!

Absolutely fine now, she will never do it again! But we had a trip to A&E and then a follow up at the burns unit. I don't think people always realise just how bad sunburn can be.
I hope your son puts his shirt on OP!

If he is burnt he will be so sore he won’t go in the sun anymore. Surely! If the pics are from today and he is red he will be sore tomorrow.

Tell him to take painkillers / anti inflammatory, cool his skin with wet flannels and towels and cover up.

He should be taking more responsibility, a lot more, but I am not impressed with gf’ family.

It’s one of those live and learn situations. Not much you can do really is there.

He will learn when his scalp is so raw he can’t even wash his hair and he can’t wear shoes because his feet are blistered.

Oh that looks so sore

You need to message her parents. Just point out how fair skinned he is and that you wouldn’t want them to have to run around to the pharmacy and doctors and (heaven forbid) A&E if he continues not to protect his skin. He’s only 16, he might not listen to them but at least you will have tried.

I burnt myself when I was 21! My face came out in blisters and was red raw. I was a mess. I put factor 4 oil thinking I’d tan. I was so stupid! And my whole body was burnt but not as bad. Went to pharmacy abroad and told me to stay out of the sun for a good long time! I also had heat stoke. I learned the hard but learn I did. He’ll learn too. He may just have to learn the hard way.

Send him some photos of melanoma, and point out that all it takes is for one really bad sunburn in childhood……

My 22 year old nephew is the same, absolutely refuses to wear sunscreen since about 12! Burns every time, even make him traipse to shops and spend his own money in after sun, gets zero sympathy, gets lectures on how many people we know who had skin cancer.

He just would rather burn and suffer for the next few days than spend 3 minutes applying sunscreen. Nothing to be done.

Won't work, just like pictures of scarred lungs don't really deter smokers!

As the fair skinned child of an olive skinned-sun-worshiping mother in the 1970s i had little choice (she slather us in oil to brown, rather than early SPF creams). DM soon pulled herself together on sun safety after my trip to a French hospital with sunburn.

Your DS is old enough to protect himself.

In this situation I’d seek a private video call with DC and give DC a hard time, focusing on risks of short term, severe pain, needing medical attention that’d be inconvenient to find and costly, and ruining the holiday for DC and inconveniencing the others with them.

Does he have travel insurance? Hope so!

I also wouldn’t let a 16yo DC go on holiday with a GF/BF, unless DC paid for all the costs, this kind of thing being among the reasons.

What does him refusing sunscreen have to do with going on holiday with his GF and paying all costs?

Even if he was with OP nobody could physically make him put it on

That's crazy. I'm ginger and fair skinned and would never go and "fry myself to a crisp" at 16, just because someone else does it (let alone a boyfriend and his family).
He will learn, hopefully it won't be too late.

He’ll be well aware that he has burned as he will be in pain. Do you need to say anything? Maybe just check that he’s treating his burn appropriately.

This is, I fear, a fuck around and find out situation. He’ll either be sore as hell and learn not to be a silly prat next time because it was very painful and so very easily prevented orrr he’ll learn nothing and burn time and again, in which case he’s clearly not got two brain cells to rub together and no amount of stern talking-tos would work on him anyway. I expect the former.

Hopefully its painful enough for him to learn from it.

MIL has sunbaked the 20yrs I've known her. I thought she was mixed race the 1st time I met her, not the pale, Irish skin she actually has! She falls asleep on sunloungers and recently got 2nd degree burns/blisters on her face and hands!

I visited yesterday and yet again, she was asleep outside in the full sun. No hat, no sunscreen etc. I despair, but she is a grown adult.

@BusWankers when present DH or I could apply various tactics to get DC to apply sunscreen, cover up or stay out of the sun!

I think there is a connection between teen DC being willing/able to pay for a holiday independently and their ability to be sensible(ish!) about health/safety when away - not at all evidence based!

I suspect sending him with factor 50 like a child may be quite embarrassing for him. Factor 15 or 20 applied regularly is much better than factor 50 applied never. And factor 50 never rubs in fully as its so thick and horrible feeling on the skin.

Exactly, and speaking from experience sometimes it’s not even a bad one 😢

to the other people saying “it’s a live and learn situation.” Ffs what a terrible attitude for a parent to have. Imagine saying that when you’re sitting in the hospital, finding out in a few years that your son’s got melanoma and you go “ahh well you live and learn”. I despair at this place, honestly. Something has to be slapping some people in the face for them to understand it does really happen.

people really have no idea, and always think “it won’t be me”.

People are saying that because on this occasion the damage is done: he’s already burned. So that will be giving him the message more than his Mum delivering Sun safety tips.