16 year old getting fried to a crisp on holiday

[Frugalgal]

My 16 year old son is on a post GCSE holiday in Greece with his girlfriend and her family. He's fair skinned and we have always made an effort with sun protection,as you do. Her family , on the other hand, are the type to sit out all day on sunbeds and fry themselves to a crisp. His girlfriend loves the sun and has turned dark brown in the couple of days they've been there.

He on the other hand, we can see from the odd photo we've been sent, is burned bright red already..He's spending all day in the pool and of course the factor 50 will just wash off. We pleaded with him to wear a t shirt and/or reapply sunscreen..but he's clearly not and not a bit bothered.

I despair. Is there anything I can say to him besides threatening him with skin cancer while he's enjoying his well earned break?

What do you actually expect them to do if he refuses?

He’s 16, not 6!! 🙄

If your son isn’t bothered, he clearly hasn’t been burnt to a crisp. If he had, he’d be in agony. I reckon he’s putting on the factor 50. Don’t forget it’s usually waterproof so will withstand the pool.

He's 16 and the sun is dangerous and 16 year old need to be guided out of actual danger and the adults around them need to step in if necessary. He's on holiday with them and they need to not be bloody laughing about the possibility of actual burning.
They won't be laughing if they have to take him to A&E.

Yes, and again, what do you actually expect them to do about it? After they ask him/tell him
..what more can they do? They can't exactly pin him down and put cream on can they?

But at the moment they're not trying.
They can tell him, seriously, that his behaviour is likely to cause him harm and they want him to take better care of himself.
If they gave him a proper serious talking to I reckon he'd be shamed into behaving better. At the moment they are doing fuck all.

I have some sympathy with the son. As a very fair skinned person, at that age I remember thinking that if I didn't use as much suncream as my (equally fair skinned) mum insisted then perhaps I would tan. This was encouraged to some extent by friends who claimed that they needed to get a slight burn before they could tan. I learned the painful lesson on a day out with friends. It's stupid but teens are obviously going to be more interested in fitting in/looking good than being safe.

I'd be texting the GF mum once more to say you are actually very concerned, but not sure it will make much difference.

For future reference, I'd suggest trying one of the high factor aerosol style can sprays. They're really easy to apply (no need to rub in or get your hands greasy) so it's less on a pain to reapply and they are nice and cooling so pretty pleasant. Aldi do a factor 50 that is quite good and not expensive. I've used it for years now, and my fair skinned teens are happy to use it when they go off on their own. With that and a cap, they've been away without me in very high temperatures, in the pool/sea most of the day and no sunburn. In fact, because it's much more pleasant to apply, quite often their friends have ended up sharing it (not a problem, since I always send them with tons of the stuff!). I'm afraid that at that age asking them to wear a T shirt/rash vest when their friends are not doing is not likely to work.

He'll learn!

At some point you need to let them be

I would message the GFs DM and say something like “ I am a bit concerned about how red DS is in the photos. He is refusing to listen to me, but please could you try and convince him to put on some sun screen during the day ? I have been working myself up reading all these stories about skin cancer because of burning when young. Hope you’re all having a great time and thanks for bringing him. Looks like he is having a great time.” No harm in being pleasant to start.

He's not their child though. This is entirely the responsibility of the 16 year old to do. If he's old enough to go away in holiday with his GF and her family, he's old enough to sort himself out. What should they have a serious talk with him?

Factor 50 can rub in just fine. Bondi Sands is a good one. No 16 year old boy who doesn’t like sunscreen is going to reapply every 2 hours. And there is outtie point using low factor if you are going to use it. Use the string stuff. And in what weird way do you think factor 50 is embarrassing? That is SO weird.

grew up in NZ. Lived in UK for the past 35 years. Some people in the UK are flat out stupid about sun protection.

factor 50 always. 30 at a push. Nothing lower. And take a rash top

Yes you absolutely should expect this. When you take a minor away with you you accept you are acting as loco parentis. You are responsible for that child. So 16 isn’t a child child but they are still a minor.

As I’ve just said to another poster, he’s a minor and when you take a minor away with you m, you are expected to act as loco parentis. Anyone not wiling to do this shouldn’t be taking other people’s kids away with them. .

Fine. But they still can't force him. They can have as many stern words as they like.

If I was the 16yo being harangued...., I'd just lie and say I was putting it on and not send any more photos.

My sun worshipping dad died last year skin cancer that he developed from years of not putting sun cream on his bald head. It developed into malignant melanoma and made its way down to the eyes and then spread into the brain. The brain cancer being what killed him in the end which all started from the skin cancer. Perhaps explain these types of stories to him, as people always think skin cancer is the most treatable cancer and downplay it, but sadly it doesn't always stop with the skin. I used to let myself burn terribly as a teen, but now after seeing what the sun can do I treat it with so much more respect than ever before

People think it won't happen to them, especially with the arrogance of youth on their side. 🤷‍♀️

I have never forgotten nursing a 12 year old girl with terminal cancer caused by severe sunburn that developed into malignant melanoma on her shoulder. It couldn’t be excised as it had already metastasised to her clavicle and upper arm.
A very traumatic, painful and unnecessary death.
It certainly taught me just how important it is to avoid getting burnt and preferably not sunbathing at all.

Also it's possible that he will feel embarrassed tomorrow when he's as red as a tomato and his girlfriend is golden brown. He may feel embarrassed or childish putting sun cream on when they don't, and perhaps naively thinks he will tan like they do if he doesnt use it. But when he looks at the pictures of him and his girlfriend and he sticks out like a sore thumb (pun unintended) for looking red raw it might embarrass him enough to not want to get like it again. And let's be honest, everything is embarrassing for a 16 year old

I spent one summer when I was 17 getting a lovely tan and sunbleached hair.
Come autumn loads of my hair fell out - and it never properly recovered, was thin and broke easily.
Threaten him with baldness!!

No it isn't. I am very fair skinned and suffer with eczema which is aggravated by suncream. Factor 15 applied every hour works perfectly I never burn and mu eczema is under control.

I don't think its embarrassing, I think it's possible a 16 year old boy might find it embarrassing.

Exactly.

I’m sure they’re seeing how red he is and telling him to put on lotion/after sun.

What else should they do? Take away his phone? Send him to bed early?

This.

Give everyone as hard a time as needs be.

Skin cancer isn’t a laughing matter.

I’d be surprised if a 16 yo wasn’t more compliant to instructions given by a GFs parent (or any friend’s) than to his own!