To diagnose or not ADHD?

[Mickey540]

My Ds Is 16 recently he’s been having some English tuition she also does work with special educational needs.
on her first day she asked me if I thought he had ADHD. I have thought maybe there is something but DH never agrees and always says the school have never said anything is wrong. He has struggled with his exams he can’t focus or concentrate v long. He gets in very low level trouble at school he’s v impulsive. He struggles with organisation. The tutor said she thinks he has mild adhd I am inclined to agree. But do I take him to be tested or not really not sure of any benefit to it but no clue really ? Any insight

it took a battle to get the school to agree for an adhd referral for my daughter. That with having major issues at school.

i think it’s worth it because you never know how the future will go. You may need to go private though as cahms waitlists are long.

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky can you refer via the gp as he will be leaving school to go to college. ? I know the lists are long!

I know you can do right to choose via gp but not sure if initial referral needs to come from
school. You do need evidence from a second setting when doing forms so if it’s done before he leaves school I guess there may be a wait as college would need time to observe before they could complete any forms.

I would recommend doing the assessment assp. Our ds was similar but nobody flagged adhd. His impulsive/risky behaviour increased when he started drinking with friends. We had a terrible 2 years and are lucky ds survived some of the behaviour. He was diagnosed with adhd at 21 and is far more rational on the meds.

Do it. You can go via Right to Choose. See your GP. Medication could be transformative for him. It has been for my son.

That’s true @ForFunGoose, they are at so much higher risk for addiction issues. I know from my ex-h. He wasn’t diagnosed until nearly 50.

You’re either adhd or you’re not. Don't use the term ‘mild’.

@ForFunGoose thank you yes I am concerned about what might happen as he gets older already going out to parties with drinks etc x

@tellmesomethingtrue onlh saying what the tutor said to me who works with SEN

@TheFormidableMrsC thank you will look in to it

I would definitely push for diagnosis. It’s not just about the here and now, it’s the future and how difficult it could get. Meds can be a game changer (they have been for my 13yo) and a diagnosis can help with reasonable adjustments at college / uni / work etc.

Also agree re: not using the term ‘mild’. ASD and ADHD are binary - you either are or you aren’t. And needs / symptoms can vary day to day / week to week / hour to hour! So no one is ‘mildly’ ADHD or ‘severely’ ADHD. It’s just ADHD or it isn’t.

And also agree with going via Right to Choose - your GP will need to refer you. ADHD UK has good info on their website about this and which providers offer RTC and help with getting your GP to agree to refer (it’s not always straightforward).

We're just starting the process with my DS, he's 13. His mental health is terrible because he can't sleep as he can't switch off his brain. I've always thought there was something but as he's well behaved and it didn't seem to bother him I didn't push for an assessment, then hormones kicked in and it was like he changed overnight. The last 18 months have been horrendous! He's very bright, no problems at school, except his attendance is poor because of no sleep and poor mental health.

I spoke to school and they thought Autism rather than ADHD but they supported the referral to CAMHS. CAMHS knocked back the autism referral as not enough evidence but accepted the ADHD one. (I'm beginning to think Autism too, there's a family history of both.)

We've since gone via Right to Choose as for his sake we can't afford to wait the 4 years for an assessment when medication could be life changing for him.

If you go on the ADHD UK website there's a list of providers. You have to look through to see who are currently taking referrals for children and how long the waits are. A lot are online so they don't need to be local to you.

I thought it was going to be really difficult to refer but I just had to complete a SNAP assessment form (took 5 minutes) then download the letter they provide, put in DS's name, my name, GP practice and ask the GP to send it off.

We've got with the Owl Centre who might not be in the ADHD UK website as they've only just been approved for Right to Choose.

I do get why some people don't get a diagnosis. It can stop you joining the army (not a bad thing in my eyes, and DS wouldn't want to anyway) and it can cause problems sometimes if you want to emigrate, but that's generally only if you're going to be a burden on the state and cost them money. But DS needs help now so it's not something I deliberate long about.

Definitely get on a waiting list (because there always are for paediatric) but talk to the school about measures they can put in place for supporting in exams. Too late for GCSEs I know but we were in exactly the same stage at the same time with our DD and because the school thought on balance she probably was, they were happy to trial supportive measures such as rest breaks,extra time and ultimately using a "word processor" in exams The latter they said they'd need to see a noticeable uplift in her grades if she used one for mocks (Alevel) which there were,so they put in for her using one for the real thing. That plus some extra training from the school about "brain-dumping" before attempting an answer/essay and other techniques meant she fared much better,got into her 1st choice uni and has only just had an ADHD diagnosis. And depending on what subject he might consider at uni, hothouse exams at university are now largely a thing of the past - much more continual assessment and some at the end of year. My daughter just learns differently (describes it as like being left handed in a right handed world) and universities are the best adapted to supporting neuro-divergent. It's just so rotten they have to go through a system which doesn't suit them (Alevels) to get into a system which does (the right course in a supportive university) If there's something he really wants to study there, don't let him think he can't make it. DSA are excellent. Good luck xx

Dear OP

I have a 16 year old with adhd. I would really recommend you watch Jessica Mccabes Ted Talk and her video titled “to the mum who drugged me”

adhd and medication is a scary thought. But honestly it has been a game changer for my son. He struggled with concentration, keeping still and emotional dysregulation. Emotional dysregulation is absolutely the hardest part of adhd.

what we found was when we started treating the ADHD other traits came out. He is also autistic, but we didn’t see that because the adhd traits masked the autism. We managed to get all the support he needed in time for his GCSE’s, including an EHCP.

my son is now ready to start college in September with medication and a support worker.

I would really strongly advise you to seek a diagnosis and if your son is open to it, start medication.

I would get them tested as when they are employed they will be covered under the disability act should anything happen in work. Currently waiting on a diagnosis for my 14 year old

Diagnosis is incredibly important, for him and for you. It will help you all to understand his behaviours and difficulties, and allow you to find coping strategies and management techniques. There is a wealth of support available, maybe not from school, but at universities and workplaces, he will get all kinds of help instead of struggling to function is environments that are not set up for ND people.

Not all ADHD people need meds, but they do help some.

DD is 17 and diagnosed earlier this year. The ADHD referral came from the Paeds Consultant who was seeing her to diagnose Dyspraxia (DCD). The ADHD Consultant then referred her for ASD . She was also diagnosed with Dyslexia last year.

while it sounds like she’s collecting letters, what is has done is enable her to understand why she is the way she is after years of struggling at school.

it would have given her extra support at college if she was doing more exams (she is doing a diploma course). It will get her help if she goes to uni.

do it sooner rather than later if you’re going to because the adult waiting list is years longer than the youth one.

we’re waiting for an appointment to discuss meds.

Diagnosis was such a relief to my DS (aged 10 at the time). I think it was a real weight off his shoulders - at last he understood that he wasn’t stupid (or dum as he described himself). He’s on meds, teachers are really understanding, he uses a keyboard at school (because of another special ed need but I hear it can also help ADHD kids order their thoughts more easily). Doing well at school. Gets some extra time and quiet rooms etc for exams. He also has loads of neuro divergent friends and they definitely bond over it (and has lots of NT friends too!). His self-esteem is higher. He’s a different boy, and that’s certainly not just down to the meds.

@NoClueForAName thanks will definitely go to the GP

@Apricotsontheroof that’s good to hear it’s been positive. Think definitely need to pursue it thank you

@skyeisthelimit thank you yes agree should do it now rather than when he is older.

@MarvellousMonsters yes I agree otherwise he may struggle at college which is a concern

@RosyDaysAhead thank you for the insight yes he can Def struggle with his emotional side. Will look in to it now the exams are over.