Apprenticeship but he can’t hold a screwdriver?

[Letmeuseanywordiwant]

Hi, my son is 16 and isn’t academic. He really dislikes school and it seems like a good idea to try and find him an apprenticeship course instead. I was thinking carpentry and my ds likes this idea. However my husband disagrees with this plan as he says our ds shows no talent or interest in the building industry. My dh works on building sites and he reckons my ds can’t even hold a screwdriver and there is no point in getting him an apprenticeship if he has no natural skills in carpentry. Wwyd?

Probably for the majority of jobs your son could go into he won’t have any previous experience of the skills involved.
If he’s motivated enough to sign up for the apprenticeship, I’m sure they’ll show him how to hold a screwdriver.

Can he sign up either a training provider that will let him try the basics of a few jobs such as plumbing, electrics , bricklaying and carpentry. Hopefully he will find one he has an aptitude for then be able to try for an apprenticeship. My son hadn’t ever done anything practical but is now about to qualify as a bricklayer.

My dc had no real practical skills before his apprenticeship but now he happily says which screw he needs and is doing well. Thr whohe point is you learn on the job, tricks of the trade

Your husband doesn't sound particularly supportive he's dismissed the boy before he's even started. Your son will be taught how to use tools. What does his dad suggest he do ?

Surely he needs to try it? How are you meant to hold a screwdriver??

I guess my husband has tried to show him various diy things and , according to my dh, my ds hasn’t been interested. My ds doesn’t really get very interested in things though and he has a prickly relationship with his dad. I’m glad the answers here are very much in keeping with what I’m thinking.

I’ve never heard of this idea. I’ll definitely look into this, thanks!

Your husband sounds very unkind and unrealistic. No one knows any of the skills of carpentry until they learn them! I'm not sure what the 'natural skills' are.

So long as he has an interest he will pick it up. I feel quite sad for your son and I hope he does take up carpentry as working with wood is so satisfying and therapeutic.

I recently started attending a woodwork workshop that offers training and equipment to people with various difficulties, and it has been joyful. I had zero experience, and although, yes, I could hold a screwdriver, I didn't even know how to operate a very basic drill to drive in screws. People tell you, then you know!!!

Maybe he's not interested in these activities with his dad because he's not keen on spending the time with him, since you say their relationship is prickly.

In a different environment with professional instruction he might really enjoy it and do well.

There are lots of apprenticeships that aren’t craft or trade ones, for example in business, healthcare, IT. He could have a look based on his interests.

https://www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/browse-by-interests

Carpentry is quite academic! Perhaps go for bricklaying or painter and decorator

He probably doesn't like doing things with his dad because his dad probably isn't patient or he gets angsty if things aren't done quick enough or something, making your son anxious.

School isn't for everyone he needs to find his way help him find an apprentiship or a vocational college course and your husband needs to stop acting like the boy is a dissapointment to him.

The whole point is they learn. Have some faith for god sake.

This sounds right. My dad was a great DIYer and often tried to rope my brother into working with him (not me, so much, because sexism). But my dad was a very anxious, angry person and brought tension to everything he did. Impossible for a child to adopt the relaxed mode you need for learning new physical skills in that context.

My brother was miserable because dad made him feel useless all the time. By focusing on him and not his sisters my dad was already implying "You are a man so these things should be natural to you. Be a proper man!!!" And it went downhill from there.

I think the problem is that carpentry is your idea, it would be better I think to show him all the different options that are available and then let him decide what appeals the most. Does he know anything about carpentry? What does he think it will involve?

DS is doing an apprenticeship and to get on it he had to show a decent interest and competence. I think your DS may be better off doing a college course that allows him to try out some different options, or looking at what's available and seeing what appeals most. He might be interested in mechanics or agriculture for example - there are lots of options and college is a very different experience to school, a lot of kids thrive there that hated school.

I think though that it would be a bad idea for you to come up with something and him to just go along with it, better if the choice is made by him.

There's no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher.

While that might not always be true, it seems to be a significant factor here.
Hope your son finds his pathway.

It's so tricky at this age,especially if they don't have a hobby or interest where they can continue at college. My son is about to finish his first year doing plumbing and hasn't really enjoyed it so wants to take a year out working at the pub he has a job at. I'm hoping something else interests him and he goes back a year in September.

The thing is that he is increasingly demoralised at school so I’d love to help him find something that makes him feel better in himself. I can’t see him going to college. He’s dyslexic. Hates everything to do with reading and writing

If your OH is a tradesman, it's a great shame that he didn't teach your son some of the skills from an early age. Maybe having a proper apprenticeship with a proper skilled/experienced person is just what your son needs - everyone has to start somewhere and your son just needs someone with patience to show him what to do.

It's a random choice if he has never shown an interest before.
Did he do DT at school for GCSE? Has he ever made things (out of wood, cardboard or anything) before.
What DOES he enjoy doing? What did he enjoy doing when younger?
That's a better starting point than randomly picking any old apprenticeship.

What does your son want to do ?

Well your husband sounds like a nasty bully. Ignore him.

I hope your son finds an apprenticeship with someone kind who will be a positive mentor who will show him how to hold a screwdriver and many more skills.

He’s dyslexic. Hates everything to do with reading and writing

All apprenticeships require a fair amount of reading and writing, but a good training provider will provide adequate support.

There are apprenticeship opportunities in lots of sectors, not just construction. Have a look on here and filter for the different sectors. You're very rigid in thinking that apprenticeships are available in the construction sector only.

https://www.gov.uk/apply-apprenticeship

https://www.ucas.com/explore/search/apprenticeships?query=sport

https://apprenticeshipguide.co.uk/apprenticeship-category/industry-sectors/sport-and-fitness-apprenticeships/

https://www.lloydsbankinggrouptalent.com/our-opportunities/apprenticeships/

https://www.prospects.ac.uk/jobs-and-work-experience/job-sectors/accountancy-banking-and-finance/top-uk-banking-apprenticeships

What help did you get him for his Dyslexia? That's where I would start, tackle his Dyslexia and a lot more opportunities will open up for him.