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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Worried sick about teenagers who won’t study

68 replies

Scaredaboutthis · 19/05/2025 08:04

My daughter is 18 and doing her Leaving Cert (Irish a levels) in 2 weeks. She is dyslexic and refuses to study for any of this. She says it’s too hard. She refuses any help I could give her. I’d love to help her now but she refuses to accept it. I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Scaredaboutthis · 21/05/2025 17:31

lol re scraped a pass gate
i thought she had passed all her subjects in her mocks. It turns out she had failed on of them but it was 38% so she should be ok.

OP posts:
Thestudio81 · 21/05/2025 18:31

Has she done any revision today OP?
What her attendance ok?

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 21/05/2025 18:38

Andthenextafterthat · 21/05/2025 14:30

It has a been difficult for them both as to top off all the COVID education crap their school was one of the worst affected by RAAC in the country so they lost most of year 12 (him) and year 10 (her).

how? Given that they’re now in year 13 and year 11…. Nothing happened last year re Covid and schooling @OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea ?

I said RAAC too not just COVID. My children's school was virtually unusable last year and they spent much of the year studying at home, in a sports hall with hastily constructed stud walls that didn't reach the ceiling so you could hear other classes but not your own teacher, in any available space that might not fall down. They had no IT suites, no labs for practical work for science or DT etc, no text books because they were in an unsafe bit the teachers were not allowed in It was deeply shit and our school made national news numerous times because of how badly it was affected and how delayed it had been getting temp classrooms and being reimbursed the tens of thousands they had spent on alternative provision. So yes, my current yr 11 and yr 13 did lose most of last year.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 21/05/2025 18:50

Andthenextafterthat · 21/05/2025 14:58

That poster says her son is basically not going to get any a levels because he’s done so little.

So an international apprenticeship is probably very very unlikely

Show quote history

I said very low grades not none.

But there are companies that will support with job matching young people going on working holidays places so they have some security of a job on arrival including short term unpaid internships. I'm not saying they are fantastic internships but I strongly believe my child needs to get out of here for a bit while also being realistic that while I know them to be capable they have no clue how to apply and interview and won't listen to me so I would happily pay an organisation to support that side and teach him.

And my child is capable. They have been working part time for 2 years, volunteering for 4 years, have instructor level first aid (to teach young people not teach others to be qualified first aiders) and can plan and run an effective programme for young people with clear learning outcomes. They are just shit at managing school work and revising.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 21/05/2025 18:52

Scaredaboutthis · 21/05/2025 17:31

lol re scraped a pass gate
i thought she had passed all her subjects in her mocks. It turns out she had failed on of them but it was 38% so she should be ok.

Sounds like mine, "I didn't do well but it'll be fine for the real thing mother....."

I have no nails left. Can't wait for it to be over and at least know what we are dealing with!

FabulousPharmacyst · 21/05/2025 18:56

Scaredaboutthis · 21/05/2025 17:31

lol re scraped a pass gate
i thought she had passed all her subjects in her mocks. It turns out she had failed on of them but it was 38% so she should be ok.

I would try and have a chat with her year head before schools close next week. Also Studyclix is a very good revision platform for LC. Her school may well have a subscription to it for revision.

Post LC your best bet is have a look at colleges of further education (FET). There are
Excellent degree options now through this pathway that don’t require any CAO points if she is aiming for degree.

Thestudio81 · 21/05/2025 19:09

International internships are fiercely competitive.

i speak from experience as the mother of a child currently on one. I don’t know of any that aren’t tbh, because so many Uk kids want the opp to do this.

Lactolove · 22/05/2025 06:04

They are just shit at managing school work and revising.

@OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea why do you think that is? Do you think maybe ND? Or laziness? Not bothered?

Bidedtime · 25/05/2025 15:31

Counting down to the end here!

both mine are swots and working very hard, so I don’t share same stress as op in that regard BUT there is so much stress with them being highly strung, emotional and so determined that I worry if their hard work doesn’t pay off

op…. How’s things going?

Original poster
Scaredaboutthis · 25/05/2025 23:17

She’s doing about an hour a day.

OP posts:
Bidedtime · 26/05/2025 06:38

Is it just you and her at home Op?

if not, could maybe her dad can take her out to a cafe and sit with her whilst she works for an hour, then break for a drink and a chat, then another hour, then break for lunch and a walk, then another hour..,. Sometimes a change of environment and a different person can help

VivIsBlonde · 26/05/2025 06:40

If she doesn’t know it now, she’s not going to learn anything in the next 2 weeks!

itsgettingweird · 26/05/2025 06:45

With dyslexia it can sometimes be how to approach it that’s hard rather than studying itself.

Can you hell her draw up a timetable and ask her how you can help her? I realise there’s now only a week left until exams but if you’re on half term like us it gives plenty of time to get this in place.

Bidedtime · 26/05/2025 06:45

VivIsBlonde · 26/05/2025 06:40

If she doesn’t know it now, she’s not going to learn anything in the next 2 weeks!

To some extent I do agree, and having read the thread…. I get the impression a lot of class time has been missed, which will mean big gaps in knowledge.

but in 2 weeks, if she knuckles down then it could be the different between a fail and a pass.

GoldLash · 26/05/2025 06:48

I feel your frustration @Scaredaboutthis but there’s not much you can do really

Teens are a stubborn bunch.

Please don’t add to her stress though by nagging her to do revision

Just make her nice food, give her healthy fruit snacks, and cups of tea or hot chocolate or whatever she likes like some chocolate or whatever.

make her feel warm and cosy and loved.

Radyward · 26/05/2025 07:44

I'm DD is doing the JC. It hit her big time yesterday but up to that point no. I think myself its a bit late now with less thsn 2 weeks to go.We are putting no pressure on . ( i know it's not the LC but its the state exams ) she did badly in her mocks but domt they all say the mocks are marked harder ?? Last week we went to Easons to Buy revision books ( that was late in my mind but hey hoBlush )
We are having a laugh with it at home ie her dinners are now "brain feed" and she laughs as we do
.lighten the mood OP and you will destress and she might perform better. Tg for PLC . I know 2 people who never did a lc one works in a bank and one in the HSE.and are working .
My DD has real issues socially has few friends and to me being outgoing/ Talk to anyone is a life skill worth more than any points in Jc/ lc and a life skill that gets you places/ jobs/ opportunity's.
Her two cousins are high achievers. Never lifted their heads off books and I worry that she will feel rubbish if she doesn't do as well as them when the LC comes ( it's terrible I'm thinking that way already )
PLC are great and get you to degree courses and sort out what you actually do want to do
Support her . That LUNA app sounds great.

notnowmrshudson · 27/05/2025 11:39

My guess is that 2 weeks is a bit close and maybe she's extra overwhelmed about it considering her condition? Read an article that motivated me to help out and be a tiny bit more involved in dd 14's exam revisions https://weareluna.app/parents/guides/mental-health-and-wellbeing/exam-stress/ getting her a calendar to plan ahead and helping her out with flashcards (even getting her a whiteboard) I think helped her get motivated a bit. Been really trying to help support her a bit more (while respecting her boundaries) as I've always struggled with school in the past. Hopefully this could prepare us come gcses. Best of luck x

Just3ok · 09/09/2025 11:09

Scaredaboutthis · 25/05/2025 23:17

She’s doing about an hour a day.

How did she do Op @Scaredaboutthis ?

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