my teenagers pregnant!

[pinklemonstoo]

:O
Shes 18.
I don't know what to do really....

what would you do?

thankyou

I would like to add that I was 17 when I fell pregnant. It was an enormous shock, the father promptly left me. My parents behaved perfectly, they let me choose (although they did make it clear that they would prefer I had an abortion) and when I chose to keep him they supported me. Now, when I say supported me, they were very carefully there as my parents and not my son?s parents IYSWIM. I had, had to give up the 4 A Levels I was studying despite the school begging me to stay.

The year after ds was born I went back to college. I got 3 A Levels in A and B grades and then went off to University in another city at the age of 20. I am now happily married and completely stable.

Should your daughter choose to keep the baby then it is not the end of her life. Yes, my life would have been very different if I had, had an abortion (a valid choice IMO), but my son gave my life such meaning and gave me such a drive to achieve ? in the face of all the ?poor dear, no future for you then? from people.

I wouldn?t change it for the world

I am sorry, what I put sounds rude now. I think what I am trying to say is that all daughters will at some point try to put the blame for their decisions, on you. If it was me then I would ask her to go to counselling, then SHE can never be unsure if HER decision was the wrong one.

when i was at uni after a bit all my friends supported me and did whatever they could to help and would offer to babysit so i could go out and didn't miss out too much on the whole getting drunk aspect of things. if i ever did want to go out there was always someone not going who didn't mind babysitting. we wouldn't go out til about 10 so he would always be asleep anyway. it was really nice but i found i did have to be make an extra effort to be an outgoing sort of person who would introduce themselves to people and make the effort to form a friendship, go back to their halls etc after lectures cos in your first year if you don't live in halls or a student house it is harder to make friends. i minimised this by living in the student area in a student house obviously just not with other students. i had a friend on my course who lived 20 mins outside of the city who found it a lot harder to socialise and make friends cos she wasn't near us all out of lecture time. i was very lucky though.

It is as possible to study when pregnant/having a small baby as it is to work and be pregnant/have a small baby.

A friend of mine started her PHD when pregnant, and defended her work with a baby.

Plenty of friends have become pregnant just before, or at the beginning of university studies, it has not been an issue.
It will only be an issue if you make it one.

Being a single mum, and a student could possibly be tough (especially with unsuportive parents) but not the end of the world.

I was pregnant at 17 and had DD at 18.

My mum was very disappointed in me and told me how much so. She also told me every chance she got how much I'd made a mess of my life and that she wanted so much more for me etc... She even booked me an appointment at the doctors and accompanied me to it trying to 'force' me into a termination.

I have to say though that apart from my DD's abusive father, I made anything but a 'mess of my life'. I got a job when DD was 18 months, worked my way up through the company from the very bottom (office junior) to where I am now (engineering manager) - all in 8 years or so.

Mum and I have never really gotten on since DD was born although she does see her now and again (when she feels like it). She never gave me any support whatsoever when it mattered most.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your DD needs you more than ever now, she needs your support and love. Please don't feel disappointed in her or that she's made a mess of things. I'm living proof that teenage mums can make something of themselves ... even as a single mum!

Good luck x