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If Mumsnetters were writing a book of advice for teen girls (age 13 up)...

26 replies

TeachMeSomething · 26/04/2025 12:35

If Mumsnetters were writing a book of advice for teen girls (age 13 up) and you were asked for your contribution, what would it be?

So. for example, my advice would be:

Don't mess about at school. Study hard. Learn as much as you can about everything you can. Read a lot and read widely. Forget about boys and trying to find a boyfriend - boys will still be there in a few years time and you'll be in a better place to deal with them. Just concentrate on yourself and what's best for you and your future.

(Inspired by GonzoParker's thread: How do you internally validate yourself rather then getting external validation)

How do you internally validate yourself rather then getting external validation | Mumsnet

like how do you do it ?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5321607-how-do-you-internally-validate-yourself-rather-then-getting-external-validation

OP posts:
Arglefraster · 27/04/2025 15:20

TeachMeSomething · 27/04/2025 13:47

@Arglefraster You will come across friends who have gaps in their shark cage - watch out for them & understand that they aren't "cooler" than you.

Never heard of this before. Is it anything to do with the work of Ursula Benstead?:
www.ursulabenstead.com.au/

Yes she wrote a paper which I now see seems to have vanished from the internet now she offers courses etc (I assume the original is the one she now offers as a pdf in exchange for you email address)
I thought this was a good summary https://stephanieazri.com/building-womens-resilience-post-trauma-the-shark-cage-model-lets-make-our-cages-strong-together/

I found it very helpful to explain why the "Gift of Fear" stuff doesn't always work for people.

Also I realised the way I wrote it was ambiguous! I meant "watch out for them" because they my endanger themselves/dont see the danger you can so help protect them rather than that those friends were a danger to watch out for 🙈

Building women's resilience post trauma; The Shark cage model. Let's make our cages strong together :) | Dr Stephanie Azri

This month, I’ve published a few articles for women, particularly for women with a history of abuse and/or trauma. Today’s article is an important one following up these blogs, but before you read any further, I’d like to invite you to read them first...

https://stephanieazri.com/building-womens-resilience-post-trauma-the-shark-cage-model-lets-make-our-cages-strong-together/

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