Do you think this is acceptable/would you allow it?

[Elliebob13]

17yo boy and girl. Been dating for a year.

Sleeping over occasionally at weekend or in school holidays. Only really on special occasions not every week. Being allowed in each other's bedrooms with the door closed.

Do you think that this is horrific/acceptable, or somewhere in between?

At 17, of course it's ok to be in each other's bedrooms with the door closed. If they're going to have sex, far better for it to be somewhere warm and safe.

I wouldn't allow it until 18 personally. After that I would (and did allow it). However its a personal decision and anything over 16 is legal.

Why is it seen to be so different for boys and girls?

It seems a rather outdated attitude.

A father isn't the gatekeeper of his daughter's sexuality.

No father would allow

I have a 17 year old daughter. She's been with her boyfriend since she was 14 and a half. They regularly stay at each other's houses. It was a bit weird to start with but I was pleased she felt she could ask me. I'd have never been able to have that conversation with my mum.
I'm also glad she's in a healthy relationship and not sleeping around like she could be at that age!

My son and his girlfriend were just 16 when they were allowed to sleep over, they stayed together for 2.5 years and had a really lovely first relationship free from shame about their relationship from any of the parents. Of course contraception was discussed as was kindness and respect, when they broke up noone had cheated on anyone and they cared enough about each other to be honest that they needed space. Better than alot of adults!! Let the kids be.

Good grief what outdated nonsense. Most teens might not be ready for full on sexual relationships but they will do it anyway. Responsible parenting means making sure they are as ready as they can be. That you have had all the talks on contraception and consent etc.... and letting them know that you are open to discussions on the topic if they need information and advice.

I would rather my DD trust me and have a mutual respect and understanding between ourselves regarding the issue than have her afraid to talk to me, make mistakes, get in trouble and out of her depth and be doing it go knows where.

Pretty normal healthy relationship. Nothing to suggest it’s intense.

Only it literally does mean it isn’t a crime 😂😂

Perfectly acceptable.

1. You don’t shag?

and in my opinion sleepovers with boyfriend / girlfriends move the relationship to a more intense level which I won’t facilitate at that age

They don't though They don't feel any differently towards each other based on staying over. If they're casual, they're casual even if staying over. If they're head over heels and choosing wallpaper, they feel that way even if they've never stayed over!

Sex is legal at this age and there’s no reason to suspect anything dodgy. The only question is what you as the householders are comfortable with.

Fathers no longer have the right to dole out their daughter’s bodies to other men. Fortunately.

Totally this

Legal, normal, acceptable (with some caveats).

So long as they know about consent, contraception, STDs.

It's fine imo. I expect my 17 year old to be responsible enough to manage their college work, hold down a part time job, help at home and manage their money, in preparation for being an adult. It would feel unfair to not trust him with managing his own relationships too.

Well that's it, they don't magically become responsible at age 18.

It's a process. Hopefully some freedoms and trust (up to a point) will prepare them for when they do become adults.

This is what happened to me, although a little older. It sounds ridiculous now but I could never have spoken to my mother about anything to do with sex and relationships and didn't go on contraception in case she found out.
That child is now an older teen and although it's uncomfortable for me to hear he can tell me anything without shame and I have allowed a girlfriend to stay over. I would never put him through what I went through. I think OP has a very sensible, realistic approach.

I'd allow it. I was sleeping over my boyfriends house and vice versa at 16/17. I went to Disney Land for my 16th birthday with my then boyfriend on our own (coach trip). I've turned out OK, it wasn't intense, I still went to school/college/work, spent time with friends, etc.

I agree with the vast majority on here too. I have allowed it and will allow it. It doesn't disgust me either, it all feels natural to me that my teens have a loving relationship. Of course I don't want to hear it/see it etc but I have never had that issue, they would rather die than be seen/heard like that!!! All teens I have had over have been very respectful and I wouldn't tolerate anything less.

And of course I wouldn't allow hook ups, after all it's a family home.....

Yes they're 17, nearly legally adults. If they want to have sex they will.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂