Som turned 16 and I can't stop crying.

[KayaMac]

This will probably sound completely pathetic, but today is my eldest son's 16th birthday, and like my title says, I can't stop crying. I've been emotional all day.
I've put together some social media reals of him growing up and it's made me realise how little he needs me now. And it's breaking my heart.
I mean, I realise that there's nothing different since yesterday, but today it's just hit me like a brick.
I'm so insanely emotional about this and I'm thinking maybe I'm too emotional. I don't remember my mother ever being like this or any other mums I know.
Has anyone else ever felt this way when their teen turns a certain age? Is it normal or do I just need to get a grip?
Just realised I wrote 'som' instead of 'son' in the title. What a numpty. I can't change it.

No it's not normal. Get a grip!

I think that I can understand it, OP. 16 marks the idea that your child is growing up. It's cause for celebration, but I get that it might also seem like the end of an era.

There is nothing wrong with nostalgia provided you don't wallow in it for days.

I'd say that if your son doesn't need very much from you at 16, then you've done a bloody marvellous job of raising him.

It's absolutely ok to feel emotional about your child growing up. Everyone experiences milestone differently and 16 is definitely a milestone moment in life. If nothing else your child is now grown up enough to pay tax! :-)

I'm sending a hug, and a gentle nudge to say try and cry it all out before they come home from school so you can enjoy celebrating with them ( as much as he'll let you !) this evening. X

It’s perfectly normal. Just wait till he goes to uni/leaves home! Be gentle with yourself then give yourself a little shake and pick yourself up.

my son made a comment on my other son’s17th birthday about hopefully we’ll see him as much after he leaves for college and I fell apart (not in front of him). Same as you’re doing, looking at photos and thinking of all the years etc. I’d say it’s normal but op you have to start putting one foot in front of the other and get back to real and everyday life x

Crying like that seems like an overreaction, imo. He will still need you, just in different ways, as he goes through different stages, in his life.

it's made me realise how little he needs me now.

He still needs you a lot...just in different ways

My only child turns 18 next week and I'm feeling distinctly wobbly about it! I know nothing is going to change overnight, but these milestones definitely hit quite hard. He's not that fussed about his birthday - turning 17 and being able to learn to drive was a much bigger deal for him - but I'm definitely feeling weird about him becoming an adult in the eyes of society when he's still my little boy. I hope you manage to have a lovely day with your son though.

My youngest is 18 today, I can't imagine behaving with such dramatics 🙄
Thank your lucky stars you've raised an independent young man.

My daughter turns 16 in a few days, it's weird but I'm not sobbing into my breakfast.

I think you need to get a grip & look at the amazing positives of you raising a self sufficient, confident, well adjusted young man.

I can't believe how quickly 16 years have gone, but I'm super proud of my daughter & the young woman she is.

OP, it really doesn't matter whether it's 'normal' or not, things just hit you sometimes out of the blue. I cried like such an idiot at my youngest's last nativity that I felt embaressed. I think, with hindsight, it was possibly related to things that had happened in the years before that which had been very tough (death of close relatives). When my eldest dc told me that he was moving out, I cried pretty much every day for about 4 days. But then I started to feel excited for him.

Just cry, go with it. There's so much to look forward to! I love my relationship with my adult ds's; they are so fun.

Aren't you bloody mean? 🙄

Is more going on in your life at the moment causing you a lot of stress . Peri? Maybe it's other things just making it seem more dramatic.
I don't recall being upset at all. Just happy and trying to make it a nice special birthday for them.
Have you cried in front of him?
I do sometimes look at pictures of my children from when they were babys/toddlers and get that feeling of hasn't it flown by .

I read something at the weekend that said something like ‘and you realise the little boy he was is gone forever’ and it really resonated. But this is as it should be and he is still here, still your son and you’re still his mum.

Oh yes.. l did with both my daughters and my Grandsons.
My eldest Grandson turned 18 and it didn't seem two minutes scince he made me a Gran first... l would take him all over.. he would sleep over.. then he reached 16 and stopped sleeping over.. but he does come and see me at least once a week on his own or with my daughter.. he's so kind and thoughtful and he loves music that l uses and still do love.. The Cure/ The Smiths etc.. we have a special kind of bond.
I often get tears about nostalgia and my family growing up.. it's very normal.. despite what some say on here.. my therapist told me.

Perhaps you're hormonal or have other things going on.
But no, I can't relate at all and think it's odd if I'm honest! Are you over invested in your children? Do you have a fulfilling life in other ways like through your career and friends?

But you've got to feel the feels. So let the feelings come and hopefully they'll pass soon

Time for some hrt I think

I totally understand op.
My two are 19 and (almost) 17 and it's really hit me recently that those lovely happy years are well and truly behind us.
My ndn has a 3 year old and listening to his little laughs in the garden fills me with joy but sadness knowing my two are adults now.
I know it's frowned upon on MN but I was a sahm for a long time and can truly say they were some of my happiest years.

16 doesn’t have anything to do with tax. If you earn enough to pay tax at any age, you pay it!

I’m not sure this is normal, but having lost a sibling who is it make it through their first day of life, each passing year has been a celebration for those of us still here. It wouldn’t occur to any of us to be upset by hitting any milestone because not everybody does.

Everyone reacts differently, there is a reason people talk about Empty Nest syndrome. You live your life for someone for twenty years and it's weird to have it all change on you.

I'm quite looking forward to the peace .myself though 😂

I was sad when my youngest left the baby stage. There was something really special about having someone just love you so much and be so cuddly.

I did not cry when any of my 4 turned any age. I’m happy they are all growing up and they are healthy and happy.
However I do not understand the nasty, bitchy comments on here towards the op. Some people are just pure horrible.

Wait til he hits 18-19 and is at Uni, and you don't from him until a week after messaging him, and he never picks up the phone when you ring. 😄 That's what they do! (Lads AND girls!)

It does pass though, and they go back to normal by around 23-25, and (usually) respond within a day (Same day if you're lucky!) 😆

Seriously though @KayaMac Your feelings are valid, and you sound like a great mum!

My advice is that you really need to sort yourself out before he hits 18!