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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Park bench snogging for hours!!

31 replies

Pippyls67 · 19/01/2025 23:11

Step mum to a 17 year old very sweet boy. Since the new year he’s been “in love”. First relationship for them both. She’s same age. All very sweet and lovely but literally all they do he says is sit and cuddle and kiss on benches in town for hours in the freezing cold. He says they literally just want to hold each other and be together. They don’t feel the cold as they cuddle so close. She does have a blistering cold at the moment tho and so does he. Spluttering all through their A level mocks last week. I’d love to suggest things to do as he says he’d be glad of nice ideas. Neither is at all worldly. He’s very quite and doesn’t have a ‘crowd’ as such to do stuff with. Was always quite the loner really. What do kids like these do for ‘dates’? They’d never be confident enough to fake ID and sit in a pub like my own boys did at that age! The older step brothers tell him to invite her over to his room or wangle an invite to hers. He’s adamant that they both want to wait a few months before getting fully intimate though so he’s not biting 🤣. I quite admire him for that to be honest. What would you suggest two 17 year olds do with their ‘dates’ other than just sit and cuddle? I’m too old to remember and clueless what’s on offer these days because mine were all off driving at 17 and very very much more ‘liberated’ than this dear soul.

OP posts:
Hyperfish808 · 19/01/2025 23:21

Let them be? You don’t need to organise his dates for him.

Pippyls67 · 19/01/2025 23:29

Hyperfish808 · 19/01/2025 23:21

Let them be? You don’t need to organise his dates for him.

Edited

He actually asked me for suggestions. He said what do my mum friends kids do actually. Hence posting as a light hearted query. Obviously I’m not ‘organising’ his dates for him. 🙄 He’s far far too intelligent to let anyone do that!!

OP posts:
Iwishiwasapolarbear · 19/01/2025 23:30

Walk round shops, cinema, costa, trampoline park, get food somewhere?

Bigearringsbigsmile · 19/01/2025 23:33

Cinema
Nice and dark and warm

HPandthelastwish · 19/01/2025 23:33

In my local city you could....
Cinema
Bowling
Rock climbing
Board game cafe
Retro arcade
Cat cafe
VR play venue
Mini golf

Free activities
Movie night at home in the family room if they don't want to go into a bedroom but most teens can sit on a bed without resorting to X rated activities.
Game board night at home
Whatever they do normally with friends

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 19/01/2025 23:35

Bigearringsbigsmile · 19/01/2025 23:33

Cinema
Nice and dark and warm

Particularly if you live near one of the cinemas which have sofas / pods.

Pippyls67 · 19/01/2025 23:35

Plus they apparently don’t want to hang out in the shopping Mal like most of their peer group do. Any slightly more unusual suggestions that they may not have realised might be a nice idea? Ideally inexpensive of course. Museum is one my Dh just suggested- they loved that idea.

OP posts:
Pippyls67 · 19/01/2025 23:36

HPandthelastwish · 19/01/2025 23:33

In my local city you could....
Cinema
Bowling
Rock climbing
Board game cafe
Retro arcade
Cat cafe
VR play venue
Mini golf

Free activities
Movie night at home in the family room if they don't want to go into a bedroom but most teens can sit on a bed without resorting to X rated activities.
Game board night at home
Whatever they do normally with friends

Fab ideas.

OP posts:
Icedlatteplease · 19/01/2025 23:39

Someone on here once recommended every teen should have a cinema pass and a bus pass to get them there.

FluDog · 19/01/2025 23:40

If they like going to the cinema is there one nearby that does a movie pass? Then at least they'd be inside and warm and it wouldn't cost so much.

MagicalMystical · 19/01/2025 23:40

Do an activity at one of their houses, eg table tennis with one of those sets you can get for any dining table, or play some board/card games eg Uno, Sherlock Holmes board game, baking, making and eating pizzas.

Pippyls67 · 19/01/2025 23:44

Iwishiwasapolarbear · 19/01/2025 23:30

Walk round shops, cinema, costa, trampoline park, get food somewhere?

Trampoline park. Mega fun! I’ll suggest.

OP posts:
aliceinawonderland · 19/01/2025 23:50

I used to like to cook meals with my boyfriend eg spag Bol or a cheesecake
You could send them out with a shopping list too!!

Pippyls67 · 19/01/2025 23:54

FluDog · 19/01/2025 23:40

If they like going to the cinema is there one nearby that does a movie pass? Then at least they'd be inside and warm and it wouldn't cost so much.

That’s a fab idea. They didn’t even know there was such a thing I think!

OP posts:
SameShitDifferentYears · 19/01/2025 23:55

It's probably just me but I find it a bit off when people post about teenage relationships and have to slip in info about the sex life too. I'm not sure what the connection is between them hanging at each others houses and shagging is, does he seem to think that being in a bedroom means sex?

Did he offer the info about the kissing and cuddling and when he plans to have sex or have you asked him? Im just checking because I've seen women get overinvolved in their kids first proper relationships and involve themselves or just want to express happiness at the milestone of first relationship.

This is a scenario where it's probably better you leave them be but if you must help, then direct him to figure this out himself or speak to someone with more recent dating experience, I'd direct him towards Google, chat gpt, or he could check social media of his peers. Personally I'd leave them be.

Amybelle88 · 20/01/2025 00:02

Op can I just say, the way you talk about your DSS is lovely 🥰

KlongDuplo · 20/01/2025 00:03

Awwww, that's so sweet - at least they meet in person and canoodle! Most of the teens in my world seem to live their relationships mostly virtually - they literally spend 3/4 hours on the phone together every night - but it's hard to encourage them to plan in-person dates.

Not very helpful for suggestions, but I'd let them be and enjoy the canoodling.

Franjipanl8r · 20/01/2025 00:10

Bike ride. Not sure where you live but you can catch a train with bikes and go a bit further. I loved being active and exploring at that age (and still do).

Delphiniumandlupins · 20/01/2025 00:17

Walks - does either of them have a dog?
Cafes

mitogoshigg · 20/01/2025 00:25

DD was at boarding school so they walked miles around the grounds, it doesn't hurt to slow things down

Mjhye · 20/01/2025 12:27

He tells you about his snogs?

Pamelaaaaarrr · 20/01/2025 12:30

Oh I miss those days, live and let live. I used to love our hours and hours of snogging, bundled up against the cold.

Travelban · 20/01/2025 13:10

Mine did/do:
Cinema or watching Netflix at each other's houses
Parties/family events and family get togethers
Walks both in country and town
Dinner/hot chocolate/lunch out
Theatre shows
Each others friends houses
The park
Board games with family
Cooking together
Table tennis/cricket etc
Family trips/holidays

We get our teens quite involved with family stuff amd ours have done all of the above!!!

MiddleAgedDread · 20/01/2025 14:21

ice skating
gym
ice hockey match
indoor golf
amusement arcade

Waterboatlass · 20/01/2025 14:28

Can't they walk and keep warm rather than sitting? Cinema, see bands, swimming, bike rides , I remember offering to walk family friends ' dogs for the purpose of getting alone time! Mooching in galleries or museums