Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Worried about ds 16 relationship

52 replies

Elshobnob · 10/11/2024 13:44

Ds has been in a relationship with a girl for about 6 months.

Don't know her well at all because they only see each other at her house. (Her choice as she has been made very welcome). But what I do know makes me worry.

Not really too sure what the norm is these days, but it seems like she only wants to see him when it suits her. Which is maybe once a week. He is at college full time and working a part time job, she is at college part time and not working, but often is always too tired, ill, having skin care days, washing her hair, tidying her room.

From what I can tell she only wants to see him occasionally when it's convenient for her and she also regularly cancels plans with him last minute.

Ds is becoming very self conscious about certain things that have never bothered him before. Could be a coincidence.

Now I've seen love letters (I didn't go looking for these they were just out on his bed). They are quite intense in my opinion. I don't know if I should speak to him but I don't want to embarrass him.

I feel that he is going to get his heart broken sooner or later.

He is very keen on her but from what I can see it does not seem to be reciprocated.

Is there anything I can or should be doing?

OP posts:
Elshobnob · 11/11/2024 08:25

whiteblossoms · 10/11/2024 21:09

This is a very difficult situation and if you voice your opinions too much your DS will push you away and not confide in you. I would aim to keep your son as busy as possible so he doesn’t become too reliant on the girlfriend eg invite his mates over for pizza night, take him to sporting games, movies etc. This will make him aware life does not revolve solely around his girlfriend and his friends will still be there if the relationship ends.

If she cancels on him or makes negative comments about him, you can gently say that’s not a nice way to treat someone and leave it at that if he defends her. The words should still sink in even if takes time.

Thanks.

It occurred to me that he doesn't really confuse in us. I'm not sure if that's a bit of a boy/girl thing. When I was a teenager I generally confided in my mum.

OP posts:
Elshobnob · 11/11/2024 08:31

I have met her parents. They seem to be very encouraging of the relationship. She has got in a bit of trouble and I think that they find ds a good imfluence.

Me and dh are of the opinion that she just isn't that fussed about ds but she's happy to have boyfriend/girlfriend status when the mood takes her.

Ds otoh has really fallen for her and it's only a matter of time before he gets hurt.

But I'm damned if I iI do and damned if I don't. If I voice any negative opinions it will only push him away.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread