Have you hosted an 18th birthday party?

[petitdonkey]

If so, tips please!!! Dd wants about 60 friends with most of them camping. Dh is stressing about how many adults we need (I think it’s okay to have just the two of us fully focused on them)

im not worried about random extras as we live rurally so only invited people will come (hence the camping over). We have said they don’t need to bring booze as we will provide. Planning on beer, cider and Prosecco. With vodka and mixers later on. Will feed them burgers then a round of pizzas later.

I know these kids and they are all nice. Dd said no one does drugs (a few smoke)

sm I being naive?? I think it will be fine (we have hosted many mixed age parties)

feel free to tell me horror stories but I’d love to hear of some parties going off without a hitch!!

None of them are new to parties/drinkjng. I had always refused to be the parents hosting parties with 15/16 year olds (though we’d let our own children drink in moderation at home.) because I wouldn’t serve alcohol to other peoples children. But I am well aware that some of the guests will be 17 not 18

Think that horse has bolted!! She has planned it and let friends know- I was asking about ‘staffing’ it from my end. I don’t think she’ll get upset but it may well be a lesson in hosting!! She just wants it to be a great party for her friends- I’m hoping she’ll have chance to chill out and enjoy it.

I hosted a 17th a few months ago, 100 kids and 2 adults (twat male got drunk and left me to it, but that's another story); I manned the door all evening and was dancing and drinking outside my own front door, having a great time while keeping an eye on proceedings. By 10.30, I was turning away gate crashers, but I'm fearless, and 6-foot kids don't scare me! The front door was the only way to get into the party. The secure back garden was open and decorated with fairy lights and used. We hired a DJ (one of their friends). It was a proper full-on house party 8-1am. The aftermath ... honestly, I have never cleared up so many bottles and cans (it was a bring-your-own party); I supplied 30 big bottles of soft drinks, most of which were left untouched. Imagine 100 teens arriving with carrier bags of beer and wine and vodka, a lot of vodka, and leaving the lot inc the carrier bags (empty) for me to clear up! Weed was smoked; I could smell it and ignored it as they were in my garden and 'safe', and snus was used (little packets everywhere the next day), but very little cig smoking - too expensive. No one threw up, but my house floors were in an awful state afterwards, and the house stank of sweat and booze. Nothing was broken. The ground in mud from the movement of kids in and out of the house/garden took two days to clean thoroughly. Would I do it again? Hell yeah, it's worth the massive cleaning job because a) I loved it, and b) it got rated epic.. DS's phone was popping off the days before and after his party, excited messages as the numbers spiralled from 60 - 100+; it certainly raised his credentials in college. My problem for his 18th is a) more of them drive, so likely more gate crashers trying their luck, we are semi-rural, and b) his reputation for a great party means numbers will spiral if we are not careful, and I'll need more 'staff' to man the door than just me. Seen the post from CherryValley5, this was ll state school kids :-)

I adore a houseful of teenagers!!!

We had 40-50 for DD's 18th last year and it went off without a hitch - and that despite the fact that most were pretty well-oiled to begin with, having been to a beer festival earlier in the day. We just made sure to provide lots of food to soak up the alcohol and to maintain an obvious adult presence by letting ourselves be seen. I think the only point of contention the whole night was when one of them stole a flashing road sign from some local road works and couldn't understand why DH wouldn't let him set it up in the garden as part of the light show 😂.

My only reservation is your sleeping arrangements. We had designated "girls" and "boys" sleeping quarters and policed them rigorously. (Actually, thinking about it, we did also have a rule of "Puking or drugs and your parents are collecting" - and one green-looking lad did end up being spirited away by his mum.) But that apart, it was a fabulous night and the ones still awake at 3am cleared up the kitchen.

We're repeating the experience next week for DD's 19th 😁.

Thank you for the messages of it going well! I have two big bell tents designated for boys and girls. Others are bringing their own tents. Policing gate crashers is my dhs job - he will have no problem turning them away, but I hadn’t considered it enough so will talk to dd and make sure she tells me if anyone uninvited is there.

Most can’t be collected as they are international students. I have provided the school with a full list so they know where they are. They will be going to the train station the next day and I guess most will go to London to stay with family or guardians. (It’s an exeat weekend from boarding school)

60 kids camping, presumably boys and girls, not that that matters much girls
And girls boys and boys. You're mad.
not entirely sure what you’re saying but all of them are in their fifth year of school together- any romances are either established or not… no new people to the group. All have stayed over at parties before.
I'm worried about drinking/injuries/drugs but please tell me your concern regarding camping and boys and girls?

The concern is that the combination of easy access to secluded spaces (camping) and uninhibited behaviour (drink/drugs) might lead to non-consensual behaviour.

Thank you for that. I will make sure that the boys/girls tents is enforced.

as there will be multiple young people per tent I would hope that wouldn’t happen but will very much have it on my radar now you have pointed it out.

I'd be worried about smoking in tents too.

Thanks for everyone that gave their advice. The party went off without a hitch. Two were ill but I took them off to a bedroom next to mine and kept checking on them. Lots ended up sleeping on the floor. They were full on dancing until 3am! Clean up, they all helped in the morning- dd and her friend even cleaned the kitchen counter at 4am!

I was very stressed before but we fed them loads of food and dd has had so many messages of thanks!

Great to hear it went well @petitdonkey !

That's great news for you.

I'm so pleased to hear, @petitdonkey. It sounds like they had a blast!

DD's party (mentioned in my initial post) also went off without a hitch. We had about 30. They really amazed me. None of them were the worse for wear, and they even put newspaper down to protect the flooring before moving the beer pong table inside after it started raining. And then one of them made me a cup of tea at 3am while the others tidied up 😂. 'Twas great.

I'm pleasantly surprised to hear how well it went.

I'm sure you're relieved it's over.

As a rule of probability - out 60 young adults at a party there most certainly will be someone on some kind of drug (weed or whatever). You are incredibly niaive to think otherwise.

Ditto regarding alcohol misuse - there will definitely be vomit in unusual places.

If you go ahead with hosting, you most certainly will need more adults on hand - hire some portaloos.

Tbh I wouldn't want the responsibility of ensuring the safeguarding of these kids on my property in these circumstances- from drink, drugs, SA. It happens.

I did host and it went well. We had three sober adults all night, two loos and about five parents came and picked up. I’d swear there was no weed as DH is like a sniffer dog when it comes to that, there was smoking and vapes.
we limited the spirits- at 1am we were out and they wanted more but were directed to the beer, cider and wine. Two told me the next day that they’d had a ‘tactical chunder’ and two were properly sick so I took over. We found no evidence of any alcohol brought in (apart from one boy who brought two cans of premixed Malibu as it is all he drinks). Of course I can’t swear there were no drugs but no young person was behaving out of the ordinary- no one was rude or aggressive. There was some snogging but not much and dd reports there was only one new ‘hook up’.

i honestly do realise all sorts of things can go wrong but I was grateful for the posters who shared their positive experiences so I thought it might be useful to share mine in case anyone does a future search.

the absolute joy in the room of them all dancing (mainly to nineties club classics!!!) is something that will remain with me!

Glad it went well OP! Sounds like it did! Oddly we hosted an 18th just a couple of weeks after you, camping an' all! Similar level of carnage! Our barn was the venue and we lined it with straw bales. Good job, as a number of inebriated guests spent the night in there with my poor DH 😅

.

Similar to what we did except we provided beer and not too strong cocktails in dispensers - which we topped up as required - no Prosecco etc etc. Also we didn't put it all out at once. There were soft drinks and water too.
However we had six adults and so I think 2 adults will be tough - especially if you are doing bbq.
We also live rurally and had an end time of 11:30. No camping! We picked up kids from the local train station and arranged taxis or they shared lifts home.

Ds had one last year, about 30 ish people…we went out but said we’d be back at 11:30.
id said outside and downstairs only, no one in bedrooms. We got back 12:30 and they were tidying up, no issues apart from filthy floor as was raining.
one lad had got really pissed and hogged the bathroom throwing up but he’d been looked after by the others.

younger ds16 had a couple of mates round too and they’d had a few beers.
some weed was smoked but outside.
we live in a terrace…warned the neighbours and had no complaints so all good.

I think DS found being the host a bit stressful!

all good, I think if you know they’re a decent group then it sounds great, especially with the camping.

Oh and we kept them outside - but it was summer. Hired a portaloo cabin thing so no one needed to come inside. It made clean up easier.

This is a terrible idea !!