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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Have you hosted an 18th birthday party?

72 replies

petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 18:48

If so, tips please!!! Dd wants about 60 friends with most of them camping. Dh is stressing about how many adults we need (I think it’s okay to have just the two of us fully focused on them)

im not worried about random extras as we live rurally so only invited people will come (hence the camping over). We have said they don’t need to bring booze as we will provide. Planning on beer, cider and Prosecco. With vodka and mixers later on. Will feed them burgers then a round of pizzas later.

I know these kids and they are all nice. Dd said no one does drugs (a few smoke)

sm I being naive?? I think it will be fine (we have hosted many mixed age parties)

feel free to tell me horror stories but I’d love to hear of some parties going off without a hitch!!

OP posts:
WeAreWhereWeAre · 18/09/2024 22:24

Carriemac · 18/09/2024 22:20

And we did have some wanderers- tried to ride a cow ( they were stopped but most indignant ) Grin

WTAF??? 😂

justasking111 · 18/09/2024 22:32

We've had a few. Did have parents telephone numbers in case of drunks, bad behaviour.

I provide mountains of food to mop up alcohol. We retired to the bedroom, but I did wander down regularly. Had one boy puke all over my patio furniture cushions. He left before I found it for work. Dragged him back from work saying if he didn't clear it up his mother would have to.

Only had to phone a parent once and get someone to take a lad to hospital the following afternoon because he was still throwing up. They put him on a drip for a bit. Then he was okay.

I was told years later that there was some marijuana 😁

WeAreWhereWeAre · 18/09/2024 22:37

Oh wow @justasking111 that would put me off hosting parties for life!

Carriemac · 18/09/2024 22:42

They were city kids and we live rurally - cows in a nearby field . No animal
Was harmed we did stop them before they actually reached the cows

Colinfromaccounts · 18/09/2024 22:44

Where do they go to the toilet?

also I wouldn’t bother providing alcohol, surely they can bring their own.

mitogoshigg · 18/09/2024 22:45

18th? I've never known parents supervising, they are adults in theory! My dc went to plenty though for their own they waited until after a levels due to timing and went clubbing, more normal than a house party for 18 (house parties were typically 15-17 and no I didn't stay and supervise)

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:46

Thank you so much everyone! A range of replies I think from ‘you’re mad’ to ‘it’s fine’!!

I have taken advice and drafted in some extra adults on standby (neighbours but not actually coming) I didn’t want it to be a case of me and dh having friends over as I thought it would make it more about us socialising rather than being fully present if that makes sense…

OP posts:
PinaOcado · 18/09/2024 22:46

mitogoshigg · 18/09/2024 22:45

18th? I've never known parents supervising, they are adults in theory! My dc went to plenty though for their own they waited until after a levels due to timing and went clubbing, more normal than a house party for 18 (house parties were typically 15-17 and no I didn't stay and supervise)

The majority won't be adults if OP's DC is 18 this early in the school year.

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:48

Era · 18/09/2024 19:44

We had 50 last weekend for an 18th (although not sleeping over). It was fine, they drink loads but it was perfectly manageable with two of us “supervising” (aka sitting in the kitchen trying to watch a movie over the noise)

I’m really hoping this will be our experience- from the group they are in? This has been the case of all the other parties they’ve been to but I’m fully aware our one could be a first!

OP posts:
Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:49

senua · 18/09/2024 19:44

most of them camping
Boys and girls?

Yes- mix of both.

OP posts:
mitogoshigg · 18/09/2024 22:50

@PinaOcado

Didn't seem to be a barrier, fake id and door staff who don't care. My dc definitely went before 18, as she boarded I had no idea (whole in fence I found out)

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:51

WhiskerPatrol · 18/09/2024 19:55

I hosted an 18th in a bar in London. Food, booze, pretty much an open bar (within reason: spirits and cocktails, but no double/triple measures and no shots), cake, DJ etc. They all got a bit pissed but nobody was sick or destructive, and nobody fought. Kids can be idiots but most of them are fine; just make sure there's lots of food and lots of soft drinks alongside the booze. What are they going to do all night outdoors though - bonfire? Entertainment? Is the party in a field or in your garden?

kitchen party! So they will be inside for the party, food then dancing, but half of them sleeping over in tents. Other half collected by parents at 12am.

OP posts:
Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:52

Doingmybest12 · 18/09/2024 20:08

Parties here have always been fine. They've been very respectful and tidied up, put out the recycling and washed the floor! ( no carpets) My 18 year old was sick and friends had done their best to clean it up. We've never had 60 people though, just a regular gang.

This is my dds ‘regular gang’ but I realise it’s a lot. Ds did his 28th here but there was only 30 of them- one was sick. The rest were model citizens (tipsy ones!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:54

Carriemac · 18/09/2024 22:19

We had a festival party , had four complete sober adults and we needed it . One drunk girls so bad we had to call her mother . We had portaloos , a marquee, silent disco and beer keg and some Prosecco . ( it was a joint party for 3 so good budget ) Had a photo booth and we did a bbq from Costco . It was a really great party but we were exhausted, it's a lot of responsibility

It’s definitely the responsibility that I’m aware of. You’ve all helped me realise I need more adults!

OP posts:
EngineEngineNumber9 · 18/09/2024 22:56

How big is your kitchen?!

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:57

Colinfromaccounts · 18/09/2024 22:44

Where do they go to the toilet?

also I wouldn’t bother providing alcohol, surely they can bring their own.

Dd says that the calmest parties she’s been to provide the booze and no one brings any. Young people are all delighted as it doesn’t cost them anything and hosts get to control what is consumed..

OP posts:
CherryValley5 · 18/09/2024 22:58

We did it before and never, ever again. DD couldn’t even enjoy her own birthday due to the stress and chaos of everything. We thought that everything was sorted and well planned out but oh how wrong were we..

A few examples of the horrors that went on:

  • Random teens that DD didn’t even know turning up as word had spread of a big party happening - the party was only meant to be around 40 people and turned into 60 because of this
  • Drugs…
  • Teens sneaking upstairs and having sex in our bedroom!!
  • Noise complaints from neighbours
  • Stolen alcohol from our wine fridge
  • Vomit trampled into carpets and broken furniture
  • One friend so drunk that her parents had to be called to physically scoop her up and take her home

I have never witnessed anything like it. Usually incredibly polite, well educated + well behaved grammar school students turned into absolute animals. It was horrendous.

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 22:59

EngineEngineNumber9 · 18/09/2024 22:56

How big is your kitchen?!

Big! We’ve had 80 here for nye but that was mixed ages! We have put up a mini marquee outside as a chill out/ lounge area

OP posts:
Era · 18/09/2024 23:00

My top tip is to hire a portaloo. £100 well spent

Era · 18/09/2024 23:03

I wouldn’t let them sleepover though. They are your responsibility if they sleep over and anything coukd happen. Their parents need to collect them or they get Ubers home so that responsibility for drunk teen is firmly handed back to their parents

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 23:03

CherryValley5 · 18/09/2024 22:58

We did it before and never, ever again. DD couldn’t even enjoy her own birthday due to the stress and chaos of everything. We thought that everything was sorted and well planned out but oh how wrong were we..

A few examples of the horrors that went on:

  • Random teens that DD didn’t even know turning up as word had spread of a big party happening - the party was only meant to be around 40 people and turned into 60 because of this
  • Drugs…
  • Teens sneaking upstairs and having sex in our bedroom!!
  • Noise complaints from neighbours
  • Stolen alcohol from our wine fridge
  • Vomit trampled into carpets and broken furniture
  • One friend so drunk that her parents had to be called to physically scoop her up and take her home

I have never witnessed anything like it. Usually incredibly polite, well educated + well behaved grammar school students turned into absolute animals. It was horrendous.

Edited

Thank you- I need to consider all this as a possibility.

we have no neighbors to disturb and dd goes to a boarding school so I doubt random will come but I will not rule that out. She is a stressy kind of person so that actually one of my biggest worries, that she won’t enjoy it.

hard to describe our house but there are lockable doors that mean that they can only be in the kitchen and outside.

OP posts:
CherryValley5 · 18/09/2024 23:08

petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 23:03

Thank you- I need to consider all this as a possibility.

we have no neighbors to disturb and dd goes to a boarding school so I doubt random will come but I will not rule that out. She is a stressy kind of person so that actually one of my biggest worries, that she won’t enjoy it.

hard to describe our house but there are lockable doors that mean that they can only be in the kitchen and outside.

Show quote history

Honestly if your DD is the stressy type (like mine!) then I’d either downsize the party or book a proper venue. Could she have a few close friends over at your house and then meet up with the bigger group to go clubbing maybe? DD spent most of the night sat in her bedroom in floods of tears due to the stress and chaos - completely ruined what should’ve been such a special birthday.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 18/09/2024 23:09

60 kids camping, presumably boys and girls, not that that matters much girls
And girls boys and boys. You're mad.

CharlotteLightandDark · 18/09/2024 23:16

“We only had beer and Prosecco at my DD's party and had a 25% vomiter rate. So that will be 12 people sick. If it is like the party my DD went to at the weekend 15% will be sick.”

interesting, we’ve also found there’s been a reduction in vomming by around 50% every year since my sons 16th - with only one culprit at the last birthday (20).

Original poster
petitdonkey · 18/09/2024 23:20

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 18/09/2024 23:09

60 kids camping, presumably boys and girls, not that that matters much girls
And girls boys and boys. You're mad.

not entirely sure what you’re saying but all of them are in their fifth year of school together- any romances are either established or not… no new people to the group. All have stayed over at parties before.

im worried about drinking/injuries/drugs (even though dd absolutely assures me that’s not their scene and has never been present at other parties) but please tell me your concern regarding camping and boys and girls? There are a few established couples and I can’t say no one will snog someone new… are you thinking there may be something more/something awful?

OP posts: