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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Can a 11 year old and a just turned 13 year old be left alone together?

43 replies

AMAZINWOMAN · 12/04/2008 09:49

As I need to do training for work.

They are both very sensible boys, who get on really well together. But I don't have anyone who can mind them

OP posts:
aGalChangedHerName · 12/04/2008 09:50

I would and have done in the past. My ds1 was very sensible and i left them for a couple of hours,sometimes more to go shopping appts etc.

If you give them a nimber to contact you and the like they will be fine.

ChipButty · 12/04/2008 09:51

I would not leave children that young, to be honest, but I do have sympathy with your dilemma.

ScienceTeacher · 12/04/2008 09:53

I'm happy to leave mine of that age.

FrannyandZooey · 12/04/2008 09:53

for how long?

hercules1 · 12/04/2008 09:54

God yes. Of course you can.

Original poster
AMAZINWOMAN · 12/04/2008 09:54

I work about 5 miles away from home, and would feel so much happier if I worked local.

OP posts:
Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 12/04/2008 09:55

I would, yes.

pinkbubble · 12/04/2008 09:57

Are you contactable during that time and are you able to come home quickly if necessary?

Also agree on "for how long"

I leave my DDs at home for a brief time, but they know how to get hold of me etc.

MoreSpamThanGlam · 12/04/2008 09:57

I think its fine depending on the maturity of the children. The understanding that they behave, dont answer the door, know who to contact in an emergency, have something to eat ready prepared.

I was left on my own at home from about 7 and walked home from school at 8.

You know these kids. How long will you be?

Original poster
AMAZINWOMAN · 12/04/2008 09:57

two hours.

OP posts:
BetteNoire · 12/04/2008 09:59

I left my two DSs together at home for the first time yesterday.
They are 12 and 10.
I had left them both separately before, but never together.
I was away for about an hour, and they were absolutely fine.

I was really proud of them actually, as DS2 is really poorly at the moment, and DS1 wanted to stay and look after him.
He read him a story until I got back.

I think that in a years' time (ie, when they are the age of the OPs' DCs), they will be fine to be left for a few hours.

LynetteScavo · 12/04/2008 10:03

I'm sure they would be fine for 2 hours. Keep your phone turned on incase they need to contact you.

FrannyandZooey · 12/04/2008 10:09

yes I think it would really be fine

pointydog · 12/04/2008 10:11

I would, yes

tigermoth · 12/04/2008 10:18

I think so, too, though I understand your hesitation as you will be 5 miles away. During school holidays, I have left my 13 year old in the house with my 8 year old and gone into work for 3 or so hours, but I work a 10 minute drive from home and I leave ata 8.00 am they wake up around 10.00 am and I am home around 12.30 ish. If I had a long commute into work, I would feel more nervous about leaving them.

I think in your shoes, it would depend on how quickly I could get home from work in an emergency. And also on how sensible my sons were. I have two friends both with sons around the age of your sons, and they both are ok about leaving their sons alone together for a few hours. With the age gap being bigger in my case, I am in more of a quandry. But ds1 will be 14 in a couple of weeks, so it's getting easier.

PenelopePitstops · 12/04/2008 14:35

definately yes, as long as they have a contact number

frogs · 12/04/2008 14:44

Yes, definitely. But ask yourself what they would do in the scenario that happened to me three weeks ago: went out for an hour leaving 13yo and 8yo in the house, got knocked off my bike and taken to hospital in an ambulance with a badly broken leg.

Luckily I was coherent enough to text dd1 and tell them what had happened, and phone dh and ask him to come home pronto. And he would have been home in a couple of hours anyway, so they would have been fine.

But just worth mentally running through these situations...

serenity · 12/04/2008 14:45

I could leave my almost 8 and 10 YO (but I wouldn't IYSWIM) so by the time they're 11 and 13 I'd definitely be happy leaving them (unless they get less sensible with age, which is a possibility I suppose)

If you feel you can trust them, and they can get hold of you, then I'd do it.

getmeouttahere · 12/04/2008 17:33

I wouldn't trust my two (12 and 8) not to argue, fight and potentially kill each other. "you're not the boss of me..." type scenarios.

If your boys are quite mature and generally get along Ok, I believe you would be alright to leave them for a couple of hrs if you can get home if needed.

Any longer than this though may be too much.

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 17:34

frogs

you poor thing

georgiemama · 12/04/2008 17:40

Definitely would, assuming that the children are in themselves mature enough, which only you know.

From 11 I walked home to an empty house alone - not far, about 1.5 miles - and brothers came home about half an hour later and we cooked dinner together. Mum would get home about six. No problems apart from a few pathetic squabbles about whose turn it was to do chores. But we did, and do, get on extremely well.

mumeeee · 12/04/2008 18:03

They wil be fine for 2 hours.

MrsMuddle · 12/04/2008 18:19

Yes, I do it regularly. As long as they know how to contact you in an emergency, they will be fine.

eternalstudent · 12/04/2008 18:24

I thought you meant as in boyfriend / girlfriend! Thought you were a nutter!

Madlentileater · 12/04/2008 18:34

provided you really can get to them quick in an emergency, yes- otherwise you are putting the 13 yr old in a position of responsibility for the younger child- I'm sure they would be fine in normal circs, it's how they would react if something went wrong eg the house flooded (happened to my DD2), one fell over and banged head etc? Not wanting to worry you as these things aren't likely to happen. But how would they cope if they did.

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