Clothes for a 14 yr old girl. Help!

[PrincessLeia21]

My daughter is extremely strong willed. When she was younger I bought all of her clothes- mix of Next, M&S, Mini Boden and a few others. She always looked lovely, put together and cared for.
fast forward to 14 and I cannot get her to wear anything I buy. Shopping trips end in arguments. She likes tracksuit bottoms, baggy leisure wear or crop tops with logos.
i don’t care if i sound like a snob- she looks terrible- like Vicky Pollard. She cakes herself in makeup and black mascara despite being fair of hair and skin.
where can i find age appropriate, nice clothing for her?! Shein etc are so awful!
we have a big family weekend away- and I am at a loss as to what she should wear.

Honestly i wouldnt waste your energy or money. She'll still just wear what she wants. Bite your tongue and go with it. Think every generation was the same in their own way

Mine really likes clothes from Hollister. Generally possible to find a fair bit in their sales section. Might not be my style always but I think teens are old enough to choose for themselves and we probably need to respect that.

Your idea of ‘nice’ clothes isnt hers.
So stop fighting

Sorry, not a battle you will win. I have a 14 yo too. Buy her what she likes or you'll just waste money on stuff that will sit untouched in her wardrobe

I think you need to ask yourself- is this a hill you’re willing to die on?

Teens are supposed to rail against what we want. Shes expressing herself and will keep pushing against you the more you try and control it.

I would make a deal- look I accept what you wear day to day. I’d love you to wear some other stuff. But it’s fine. I’m gonna get my head around it. The family get together…is it possible that we come to some sore of agreement about what to wear for this more formal/special occasion. So crop top is fine but can we pair it with a pair of like baggy cargo/wide leg trousers. Your choice. Budget is xxx. Just not joggers and little bit smarter.

That would seem fair.

She is 14 exactly how do you propose forcing her into some? Let her wear what she wants, she is trying to express some autonomy. You can either row with her and make this a battlefield or you can back off and concentrate on what really matters, her self esteem, her self belief, her trust in you.

OP, when I was 14, I went to my Dad's work Christmas party wearing a huge scowl, mini skirt and a cropped t shirt with the words 'Warning! This bitch bites!' on it. Try (I know it's hard, by god I do) to be thankful that your DD seems to be nowhere near as awful as I was!

I am in awe of you! Well bloody done to your balls and all 14 year old self!

Leave her off. Clothes and style are an important identity thing at 14. I wanted to dress like Avril Lavigne at 14, my mum would force me to wear awful mumsy things from M&S and Next. Obviously I CRINGE at my emo attempt now but I remember at 14 just feeling like she hated the sight of me because all she did was look at me in disgust and tell me how terrible I looked when I actually liked the clothes I had picked.

I have a 13 yo and sometimes she looks dreadful too tbh, but that's just my opinion and she actually just looks like a normal teenage girl. They all seem to just wear sport stuff

Didn't finish typing...

Baggy tops and jeans.
I really would pick your battles. She's finding her style and of course wants to look like all the other girls and fit in.
My DD would die if I tried to make her wear something from M&S!
Take her shopping and let her choose

To be honest all the teens I know wear joggers, trainers and a crop top or tshirt and a zip-up fleece or hoodie. Sometimes cargo trousers. My teen DDs shop in Bershka, Urban Outfitters (which is expensive), and H&M.

She's 14, she is finding her way and expressing herself through her clothes is part of that.

When I go shopping with my 14yo DD she gives me a look at everything I might suggest so I don't. I generally give her the money when she needs clothes and she goes with her friends, I also have a 19yo DD so have been here before.

She likes flared and baggy jeans, cropped t-shirts, hoodies. She also likes some co-ords and dresses it's quite varied. H&M, Stradivarius, Pull & Bear, Bershka are the main shops of choice.

She's growing up and what matters is building her self esteem, her confidence and not criticising no matter how much you dislike what she wears.

Hollister and H&M are the most successful in this house.
We have compromises. She has trackies and leisurewear for slobbing about at home and being out with her mates.
She has to have a couple of smarter, mutually agreed outfits for occasions such as family gatherings and theatre trips etc.
I don’t buy things she hates or will never wear.

Dd wore a tight black long sleeve crop top and a pair of massive denim cargos for a family party. TBH she looked really gorgeous and I thought- what confidence to be so happy in her body.

Sorry op but she's a teen now.....as long as it's not inappropriate, let her wear what she wants.

DD is 16, she actually has better dress sense then me so I leave her to it. Her favourite shops are H&M, new look, sports direct (she's very sporty though) and superdry. Some of them really like primark, DD isn't a big fan. She hasn't worn a dress in years and I don't blame her I was the same.

Most of them her age seem to wear joggers and crop tops. Unless your a goth or into something else specific. I'm assuming she doesn't wear makeup for school.

and I am at a loss as to what she should wear

That's your problem! She'll decide what to wear and the more you force her in another direction, the more she'll go her way.

I have a 15yo who is more conservative in her dress sense than me! But I've never forced her, it's just what she likes (Next, Hollister, Anthrpologie). She has 2 cousins the same age as her. One wears skirts so short you can see her knickers, and very ripped fishnets. The other (who goes to private school, so I wouldn't worry about Vicky Pollard) wears the ubiquitous tracksuit bottoms and cropped tops for casual or Oh Polly, veeeery tight, veeeery short dresses for family parties. She does have some leather trousers as well.

I would go shopping with her. Hollister, urban outfitters, pull and bear, stradivarius, superdry . See whether she finds some other stuff to branch out a bit. Sometimes seeing the models in windows helps them be inspired - but unless it's totally inappropriate (nipples showing!), I would bite your tongue.

By smarter I’m talking some nicely fitting cargos and a decent quality top.
She does have a couple of dresses from Hollister that she loves.

Zara, HM, Urban Outfitters, Brandy and Melville, Pull Bear.
Let her choose but maybe suggest sizing since different companies have different lengths and sizes comparison is not universally the same.

Thank you all. I do get it, but I should maybe expand and say that at the weekend we are going to a social function which requires smart casual dress code- women mostly in dresses usually, men usually in variations on a chinos and linen jackets and panama hat themes. It’s this particularly that I’m worried about.

She will be fine in a flippy summer dress which the types of brandy Melville is away with.

I have a strong willed 12year old. Wears the normal 12 year old 'uniform' black Nike Pro leggings , white Nike socks and hoodies (white fox at moment)
If we are lucky can get a pair of denim shorts on or M&S bootleg jeans (who knew they fit the criteria)

For smarter days out try Lipsy or Quiz.
Otherwise it seems SHEIN and Primark are the in things at that age

Honestly she is 14 nobody will bat an eye. What exactly are you worried of happening? They are hardly going to throw her out. Because I would think a lot less of any grown adults judging a teen.

Yes. Get to Brandy Melville for a flippy dress and cute cardigan. And chill out!