Alternative activities for 13 year old gaming addict

[3boys1cat]

Like a lot of boys his age, my eldest DS is addicted to computer games, particularly Counterstrike. We have restrictions as to when he can go on, and how long for, but the trouble is that when he's at home, gaming is all he really wants to do. He will watch TV as an alternative, enjoys drawing Manga-style pictures when he's in the mood, and will practise a bit on his drumkit (again when he's in the mood).

Never having been a 13 year old boy myself, I was looking for suggestions as to what else he can do in the house that doesn't involve slaughtering strangers and zombies on the internet!

Thanks!

Mine (12.5) reads books, runs around the garden, he goes to swimming lessons, and scouts. He will also play board games with me when I force it, and quite enjoys it. I am also teaching him to cook, and he spends loads of time glued to his i-pod which has loads of audiobooks on there.

It's normal teenage behaviour - don't stress. At least if he's slaughtering zombies he's not out mugging old ladies!

Thnaks for your support - I think you're right and he's pretty normal. I have decreed that we are having a computer/console free week this week, and it's going well so far. I'm hoping all three of my DSs will find new pastimes or rediscover old ones!

You could try Warhammer. This involves collecting, model making, learning intricate rules, and board games. There is also a tie-in with computer games. See Games Workshop link for more details. Each Games Workshop store holds beginner classes in how to play. It gets expensive though!

I've no particular solution to suggest, except to say that all of scareyteacher's sound good.

Just wanted to say that I know how you feel. My ds1, 12, is addicted to Runescape. We have all the rules about time limits, etc, and we are reasonably good (though far from perfect) at enforcing them. But when he is not at the computer, he seems at such a loose end these days. He does go climbing, and he reads a lot, but he has far fewer interests than his little bro, and it is really hard to get him to come out for a dog walk, etc.

Another vote for Warhammer. DS (nearly 12) is completely addicted to PC and PS3 but Warhammer has seemed to be a good alternative for him. He and his dad spend ages painting and glueing the figures together. The staff at Games Workshop are fab and really helpful. DS goes to Games workshop every Sunday to play with like-minded souls and at the moment he is there, Chariot Racing

I agree it can get pricey, but tbh ds now actively saves up for his latest "Chaos Knight"

Yes, how could I forget Warhammer? My house is strewn with it. It's one way to enforce what you want to happen. The Warhammer gets fatal battle damage if he doesn't do what he's told. The problem is that DS is into Lord of the Rings warhammer as well as the Empire, and so we have LOTR PS2 Games, and even a Warhammer PSP game, not to mention the subscription to White Dwarf and the mail order to Games Workshop (we don't live in UK at the moment).

It does however keep him occupied painting it for hours and he gets great pleasure out of playing me and then thrashing the hell out of me. He doesn't like playing it with DH though, as he is military, and can beat DS in 10 minutes!

My ds 14 is also totally addicted to xboxlive..I think it is normal for the age group TBH.

He is also addicted to Runescape, Threadworm, and as you say about your DS he seems at a loose end when not gaming. He tends to then wind up his younger brothers just for fun, and also in the hope that I will let him go on the computer to give me some peace & quiet!

Maybe I will try to persuade him that Warhammer is like Runescape, only slightly more in the real world, and see if he will give it a go? Or get him more involved in cooking and all the other fun stuff that goes on around the house...

There are other games to warhammer out there too! Heroclix (if you like superheroes), Horro Clix or Halo Clix (all figure based wargames) D&D (Dungeons & Dragons) Have a fantasy figure game out. You can get Star Wars figure games, all sorts of things to entertain teenage boys. Where abouts are you?

Oh 3boysonecat, I know what you mean about winding his little brother up for fun when at a loose end. DS1 does this. And it does get to the point where I find myself thinking 'His internet time is up but I can't face having him go and bother his brother.'

Perhaps 3catsoneboy might have been a better balance

I just tell myself that he's safe, he's warm, I know where he is. There are worse things they could be doing!

I've just banned all games consoles, hand held games consoles, computer games and mobile phone games (for the truly desperate) until the summer holidays. These things were always banned from 4pm Sunday through to 5pm Friday but within certain rules. Our latest rule was that they could play those games for the exact amount of time that they had done exercise. They were quite good for a few weeks and then started having an hour extra or whatever. To be honest they seem relieved. Although they played cricket in the garden yesterday after school and broke one of my favourite pots. DSs are 16 and 12. I would never allow them to have computer games in their rooms - we have a family computer in the playroom and a Playstation in the snug - it is still hard to police them as sometimes life is just too busy to run the stop watch on their gaming activity.

Those of you suggesting War Hammer should go to a Games Workshop shop - a nerdery of geeks (adults too) gathered to play War Hammer. It's a bit odd.

One good computer game is Sportdax -(bbc website) it is really fun and sociable in that they can form a group with their friends and compete against one another. It also teaches them the rudiments of how stock markets work and teaches them to read the paper and anticipate news coverage. Only really any good if they like sport I suppose.

I think I have to object to the nerdery of geeks comment there Swedes. My 12 yo ds enjoys Warhammer, spends time playing with it, and painting it. He isn't harming anyone and isimproving his fine motor control skills at the same time.

I get really irritated that people use the words nerd or geek, as ds is a clever lad and hears this a lot in a perjorative sense at school, as he likes to read, has a wide general knowledge and tries in class. I can't see the point of going to see a load of males throw a ball at a set of wooden uprights, or try to get a ball in the back of a net, but I don't call them geeks, nerds, or a bit odd either.

Scaryteacher

Re Warhammer - It was slightly tongue in cheek. Harmless but odd all the same. I think if you go and play in the shop you need to go and buy the War Hammer uniform first: army surplus look. My DS1 used to play it so I know exactly how geeky it is!

Swedes, sorry for typo - talking to dh in Greece whilst typing. Thought this was teenagers, not pedants corner though!

I don't mind odd, but ds gets called a geek and and a nerd at school and it really pisses me off.

The last Warhammer tournament I went to in Belgium had one lass in full medieval gown with matching head-dress...they take it seriously here!

MB - please, not that yet, he's only 12!

ds has just MBs comment over my shoulder and asked what wanking is....sweet, now I'll have to explain!

sorry, just read MBs comment! Have explained, he said ' oh masturbation Mum!' and sank into Star Wars Battlefront 2 again. Obviously more entertaining than beating the meat.

sorry ST! Souldn't have been so free with it!

Don't worry MB, I wonder where I've gone wrong - my year 7 tutor group always seemed far more advanced about these things than DS. Still, there's time for him to explore these things yet.

Swedes, am with you on not having computers/consoles (or TVs)in bedrooms - that would certainly make matter worse.
Tomorrow is the last day of the ban on games for this week. Instead of spending the first week of the holidays at home, we have been on lots of day trips. This has worked out expensive, but I think the guys have really appreciated me taking them all out to different places. Makes a change from my usual "let's go for a lovely (and cheap) picnic in the park" attitude!
I am expecting a return to the usual gaming obsession on Saturday though... Maybe I should take Riven's point of view and chill out about it, but take it from me, he really is addicted

Btw, Martianbishop, w%~*ing not on the agenda yet, as far as I know

3boys1cat, I think you did really well! I have a 13 year old and an 8 year old and taking out to places together is often hell - they can wind each other up and have so many arguments when we all go out those sort of day trips.

I am totally with you in being worried about obsessive game playing. Fine if it's just one activity among others but not if it's the only thing that's done for most days. I know of a couple of my ds's friends who will play games all day and spend weekends without going out of the house or seeing anyone at all. It takes away the random nature of life - if you never go out in your leisure time, you never bump into friends, see unexpected sights, go to unexpected places etc. Everything is so controlled.

I cannot see this is at all good for a 13 year old's development. I would be very against my own ds being like this. I was round one of my son's friend's houses and the boy's room looked like a mini office - no books, toys, sports equipment etc.

I think you just have to encourage other interests - mine goes to cricket and drama and has got into electric guitar. But he started doing these mainly because he was away from the computer screen in the first place! If he had been in front of a screen all the time, he would not have suddenly announced 'I want to play cricket' He had to be out and about, meeting people, seeing things going on around him to spark an interest. He watched other boys playing cricket and his dad plays too. I took him to a few plays and a production by a youth drama group before he wanted to join. He has been to pub gigs and seen some of his fathers friends play in bands etc etc.