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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Alternative activities for 13 year old gaming addict

42 replies

3boys1cat · 06/04/2008 17:08

Like a lot of boys his age, my eldest DS is addicted to computer games, particularly Counterstrike. We have restrictions as to when he can go on, and how long for, but the trouble is that when he's at home, gaming is all he really wants to do. He will watch TV as an alternative, enjoys drawing Manga-style pictures when he's in the mood, and will practise a bit on his drumkit (again when he's in the mood).

Never having been a 13 year old boy myself, I was looking for suggestions as to what else he can do in the house that doesn't involve slaughtering strangers and zombies on the internet!

Thanks!

OP posts:
Swedes · 11/04/2008 09:37

Riven - Actually I would be worried about any activity that was done obsessively and in isolation - including maths and piano.

I am really hoping my 12 year old gets selected for the cricket team today for their first match of the season tomorrow. It will mean he has matches most saturdays and we can all go and watch - it will be a real boost for him.

mumblechum · 11/04/2008 11:02

Swedes, saw your other thread re. taking your ds to Paris. Have you gone yet?

DS and I just back if you need any info.

Swedes · 11/04/2008 11:23
SlartyBartFast · 11/04/2008 11:41

how mcuh of a limit do you set on computer games

i do 2 hours
but always get x and y are on it for hours
and i know someone who is always on it.
sometimes have to turn electricity off to get him off. (runescape)

mumblechum · 11/04/2008 11:46

Sounds like you had a great time, Swedes! We did the main Paris sights, and a day in Disneyland which was unexpectedly brilliant.

Back to computer games, I find that if I don't impose too strict rules, the novelty wears off, ds gets bored and will go out on his bike with his mates after a couple of hours or so.

fizzbuzz · 11/04/2008 14:34

I beleieve a big report has just come out from some top bod about how computer games are not the evil they are painted to be (read in in The Guardian this week)

Ds plays xbox live gainst a lot of mids at his school, they even have their own special club thing. Anyway, he says it's mainly Y9,10, and 11. Not many Y12's play it, so I guess the obsession dies down by about the age of 17.

I don't worry about it that much tbh, although the internet does get swithched off at night. Ds informed me, that as this happens he deliberately goes to bed late . Not sure who he is trying to spite

sarah293 · 11/04/2008 17:51

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tigermoth · 11/04/2008 19:29

My worry with computer games is that they are controllable in a way that real life isn't.

sarah293 · 11/04/2008 19:40

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Swedes · 11/04/2008 22:31

riven - It's great that computer games are not cause for conflict in your house.

SlartyBartFast · 11/04/2008 22:34

we do have conflict here, especially in the hols!
actually i find 2 hours too intensive and makes my dc aggressive about coming off

Swedes · 11/04/2008 22:41

Slarty - My sons are always really grumpy when they have been gaming for an hour or more. The ban is marvellous. They are so chatty over dinner.

SlartyBartFast · 11/04/2008 22:47

i might try that swedes.
have tried to limit time for ds (main culprit)
but perhaps will ahve computer free days for all

tigermoth · 12/04/2008 07:27

Some boys are more into computer games than others, of course. DS1 definitely likes them to some extent, but gets bored with them too.

This week we had one of his friends round who wanted to play on the computer all the five hours he was here. Ds fell asleep on his bed with boredom (he said!)and I had to wake him up, but wondered why, as his guest who was totally oblivious to this as he was glued to the game. DS then came downstairs to help me cook everyone's supper while ds2 took over the computer game with the friend.

I suppose then, it comparatively easy for me to introduce my son to new interests. I tend to be positive about it - no ban as such, but I just make plans to go out to do something, visit friends etc etc, so ds hasn't the opportunity to sit at the screen for hours on end. Ds might complain, but I am not fighting a mega obsession.

I think that ds1 does not know the best way to fill his time unless he has some guidance and suggestions. I don't believe in leaving him to his own devices all the time, just to give me a quite life.

Ds1 didn't like swimming - hadn't been for years - but we all went for a family swim one Sunday. Ds1 was utterly against going but when he got there he quickly changed his mind and was keen for us to go regularly, so it became a regular weekly thing. That's an example, I suppose, of what I was saying about the random nature of life.

From my persepctive, I would not want to give in to a computer obsession. Not that computer gaming is 'wrong' or harmful but doing anything to excess is IMO not good. I wouldn't want my son eating just cheese sandwiches, or watching endless football on TV, even though there's nothing 'wrong' with either of these things.

And I hope that by ds getting a few other interests in his life, he is storing up some nice memories of his teenage years (and of me). I don't want to be remembered as the person who hovered around in the background every weekend, while he played alone on his computer.

3boys1cat · 16/04/2008 14:25

Thx for comments, everyone. Games have been back on the agenda since Saturday and he has been as obsessed as ever .
It's not so much that gaming is all he does - he does 4 hours of TaeKwon Do a week, plays the drums, has lots of friends, reads quite a bit .... - it's just that when he is in the house, gaming is pretty much all he wants to do, he can get very hyped up playing, and he is usually v grumpy when he has to switch off. Maybe the key is to get him out of the house more; it just seems a shame that when he's at home there's nothing else that he wants to do!
Riven, I take your point that there is a positive aspect to gaming, but I have to say that with CounterStrike in particular I can't see what there is that's good about it!

I guess I have to live with it - you can't uninvent games, but I think I will be imposing more restrictions when the new term starts next week. At least it is light in the evenings now, so I can send him (and his brothers) out to the park after school!

OP posts:
tigermoth · 16/04/2008 20:37

good luck 3boys1cat! As you say, the evenings are getting lighter, so that helps. And the more there is going on that's non-gaming, the less energy (in theory!) your ds will have for gaming. Someone further down here said it's a common phase at this age and likely to get less intense in a few year's time.

(After I posted my last comment, I realised it was slightly off on a tangent as your 0P was specifically about what else your ds can do in the house - I think there's no easy answer to this, apart from setting time limits and then hoping that this gives your ds the impetus to find other things he likes to do indoors)

scaryteacher · 16/04/2008 21:41

We've just had an Amazon delivery, so he has 4 new books, and has had his nose in one for the last two hours. They won't last long then!

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