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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Find my iPhone on teen phone?

27 replies

Anon900 · 22/04/2024 17:54

Quick question - do you use the find my iPhone (or similar) on your teen’s phone for safety reasons? Particularly interested in perspectives from London where kids are travelling on their own to school on public transport.

if you do, what do you do if your child turns it off?

OP posts:
Peonies12 · 22/04/2024 17:59

No, I see it as an invasion of their privacy. That goes for anyone tracking anyone else unless they specifically want to be tracked.

glitterelf · 22/04/2024 18:01

My child is 10 so much younger and just started to walk to and from school in preparation for secondary. We use this function both ways and both of us have consented to have it. With your child being a teen sit them down and have the conversation with them.

BodyKeepingScore · 22/04/2024 18:03

For teens I wouldn't unless I had specific concerns about their behaviour or was worried they were unsafe or taking drugs etc, and even then I'd make them aware I was doing it.

sleekcat · 22/04/2024 18:04

I would never have thought to do this of my own accord but my teenager voluntarily set it up! I don't ever look at it though.

BrieHugger · 22/04/2024 18:05

Yes we all can use it, but don’t very often. My son is not great about letting me know his plans, so I can easily check if he’s at the gym or a mates house or whatever. He goes running a lot (cross country) so if he ever had an accident I could find him. They could switch it off but never have.

It’s just as much about being able to find the actual phone if they lose it, in fact I probably use it more to ping my phone when I’ve lost it somewhere in the house.

Schum · 22/04/2024 18:08

Yes I can see my 12 and 16 year olds and vice versa. That’s non negotiable if they want a phone. I can also see my 19 year old but that’s personal choice and he’s welcome to turn it off. We just occasionally find it useful.

TheSmallAssassin · 22/04/2024 18:14

We use Google Maps location sharing as we're mixed Android/iOS, we don't track their every move, but it has been helpful especially when we've been asked to come and pick up, or check whether we are going to get a last minute call for a lift because the bus hasn't come, or to see whose house they are at because they've forgotten to tell us. We're all happy to share and all have to consent.

Teenagers often share their location with their friends using Snapchat, so a lot of them aren't as fussed as you might think they will be.

The only boundaries that are crossed are when our daughter watches where we are going when she knows we've gone Christmas shopping!

BoohooWoohoo · 22/04/2024 18:17

I agree with a PP that a surprising number of teens have their location on in SnapMaps which might be more acceptable to your teen.

SoftPillowAllNight · 22/04/2024 18:31

My teen has to leave it on but I rarely ever check - only reserved for evenings when they are running late. They get told off if they turn it off so know to leave it on.

Best to not track them or comment on their whereabouts to keep things smooth.

Riapia · 22/04/2024 18:43

I wouldn’t have wanted my DPs to know where I was when I was a teen, would anybody, truthfully?
Soon it’ll be possible to have a drone following them.

Big brother is watching you.
👁️👁️.

cerebuswannabe · 22/04/2024 18:44

I can see my sons location on find my iPhone but they can't see mine.

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 22/04/2024 20:46

find my phone, find my wallet, find my keys, find me an extra 20 minutes in day.
yes i support all features that are helpful to running a smooth household.
find my teen, well i'd call or text.
but be clear the find my phone feature is on and operational (as long as they are not turned off or battery dead...yes i'm whining about my son in law).

0rangesandstrawberries · 22/04/2024 20:49

Interesting because I've had the same question but didn't ask. Dd had it on but we'd never discussed it and she never went out anyway. She is now going out a bit and I've noticed it's been turned off.
I decided that she needs to feel that I trust her and her decisions and I would have hated my mum looking up where I was so I haven't said anything

StasisMom · 22/04/2024 20:51

I do and mine is 18, she honestly doesn't mind but I've said I'll stop when she goes to university. She drives and I use it to check she's safely arrived at her destination.

Edinvillian · 22/04/2024 21:37

StasisMom · 22/04/2024 20:51

I do and mine is 18, she honestly doesn't mind but I've said I'll stop when she goes to university. She drives and I use it to check she's safely arrived at her destination.

My daughter's drink was spiked at uni and the only reason her friends knew that she was in hospital was because they track each other on Life360. We all have it on our phones now and she's 22. None of us mind others knowing where we are. My 72 year old dad, 52 year old sister, my 11 year old son are all on it. Have to say it's a close call between my DD and my dad to who checks it out the most 😂😂
To be honest I rarely look at it.

StasisMom · 22/04/2024 21:38

Bloody hell Edinvillian - that must have been terrifying.

Branster · 22/04/2024 21:55

I think they should have it on their phone linked to at least one member of the family, they should be aware this function is activated, they can turn it off but it absolutely must be turned on when going to a party/event/festival/holiday with friends/ day out with friends etc.
We use it and it proved to be useful. On one occasion I was picking up DS from a party at 1-2AM in the middle of nowhere and got lost, he was able to direct me which way to drive using this function.
Another time I lost my phone and DD worked out it was in the car I was in at the time because it was moving along the same route as my phone.
I don't look at it much, but it's interesting to see each other when one of us is in a different country for example.

Wishlist99 · 22/04/2024 21:59

Yes the whole family can see each other. It’s a safety issue and a practicality issue. Reading messages no, that would be an invasion of privacy. Knowing where immediate family is is invaluable when we are miles away from each other during the day and our lives are an intricate balancing act of train and tube timetables and pick ups and drop offs.

However, I don’t ever ask questions about what was happening where or why. Because I don’t pry, my 16 yo has been happy to keep it on.

idontlikealdi · 22/04/2024 22:08

Yes. Dts are 13 and it's on.

enjoyingscience · 22/04/2024 22:11

Yes, and they can see mine. DS10 occasionally comes home from school before we get there and likes to watch my commute on the find my app. I use it to check when DS15 has got the bus home after a day out so I know when to expect him. I guess all he would have to do is turn on aeroplane mode and it wouldn’t work?

Menomeno · 22/04/2024 22:15

It was the kids that set it up on our phones. They have all their friends on it too. It’s completely normal to them. I find that really weird because I’d have detested it back when I was a teenager. Sometimes they even text me when I’m showing as ‘no location’ to check I’m okay. 🤦🏻‍♀️

peppermintsforall · 22/04/2024 22:25

Yes we have it. It's really helpful and definitely reassures me. My DCs don't mind, but at the same time I see it as being a condition of having a phone. Same with me being able to check their messages sporadically.

ObliviousCoalmine · 22/04/2024 22:33

I have a tracker on my teen's phone, I don't really check it apart from seeing if she's left somewhere on time for me to meet her/pick her up.

We had a chat about it before it went on and I explained why I'd like to have one on her phone and that if she wanted she could have one on mine so it was like for like but she said she didn't mind and didn't need one for me.

It's been helpful and she has no issue with it. When she does we'll have another conversation about it.

Copperoliverbear · 22/04/2024 22:43

Yes x

thismummydrinksgin · 24/04/2024 16:30

I do, you can stop them Turning it off through account settings. They can of course turn the phone off etc . When my Son did this it was because he was somewhere he shouldn't have been so so dealt with that and explained it was for safety and also so I knew where the phone was.