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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD lying about showering

54 replies

MotherOfOlafs · 05/03/2024 11:46

Since DD turned 14 at the end of last year we’ve had issues with her hygiene. She will run a bath or switch on the shower but not actually get in, she’ll wet her hair instead. She then swears until she’s blue in the face that she has. I can tell she hasn’t (her towel will still be folded neatly or her sponge will be bone dry etc).
I’ve spoken to her and explained as a teenager she will sweat more and needs to keep clean and she agrees but then won’t do it. How else can I go about this? She’s neurotypical and had no issues with showering or bathing until recently. She also has short hair so it’s not a case of it’s too much bother to wash it.

OP posts:
Orangebadger · 05/03/2024 17:56

HandsomeGreige · 05/03/2024 11:50

It’s just laziness and control, assuming there are no special needs as you describe

i was an absolute grotbag too and did the exact same thing

my mum was very patient with me but then she told me quite bluntly that I stank, she could even smell I was on my period and it was very rude to expect my friends to sit next to me and they were probably gossiping behind my back about how smelly I was

I was incredibly upset and self conscious, and I was upset- but it got me in the shower

what my mum said was mean, but it was true. I remember a few years later a friend referring to me being the ‘smelly kid’ when I was in year 8

edit: my mum was a very kind woman and there was no abuse emotional or otherwise, but she lost her rag with this one

Edited

This is the only way. It's not mean, the truth hurts sometimes and smelly teens need to know!

cornflower21 · 05/03/2024 18:02

clarkkentsglasses · 05/03/2024 13:09

My DN is like this. She stinks to high hell. Doesn't give a shit either. "Free bleeds" too ....

What the fuck is wrong with teens of today?

Bleed over my sofa ..... and then looked at me as if I'm the crazy one

What do you mean by free bleeds?
She doesn't use any sanitary products?
How does she managing in the classroom?
This is batshit.

SBHon · 05/03/2024 18:04

BranchGold · 05/03/2024 15:15

Is the house warm? Sometimes I dread getting out of the shower to a cold house.

Does she have a nice dressing gown and slippers to get into?

I think if it’s not a practical issue such as heating, and you don’t believe it to be psychological, then I’d be giving tough love.

Seconding this. Our bathroom gets a bit cold and I have to convince myself to shower because of it. If I was already a bit lazy and a teenager that could be all it took for me to avoid it completely.

MoonWoman69 · 05/03/2024 20:34

I remember doing this at 9/10 years old. Setting the shower going, not getting in, pretending I'd brushed my teeth etc.
(I honestly can't remember my mum saying anything, but I'm sure she would have had a word with me if I had smelt bad). I was a fat kid too.
But I remember my dad came to pick me up to take me to visit my cousins and while we were playing, I went over to stand by my dad, leant on him and he told me, in front of everyone, to go away because I smelt... Started the showers and teeth brushing the next morning, as I was horrified!
Although I remember being really embarrassed and upset, he did me a favour!
Edited to add - I think mine was laziness, nothing underlying.

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