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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

60 years ago, children were scared of adults. Now, it seems adults are scared of children?

59 replies

JessieZoo · 27/02/2024 12:43

I've noticed since smacking was frowned upon as not the morally right method to discipline a child, whether at home or by a teacher, like in times gone past. Children seem today to have too much confidence at a young age, and I think this is a bad thing. They know they can get away with ASB or threatening a teacher, but the police can't do anything as the laws they currently enforce are too soft. No fear of consequence is missing in today's world, isn't it?

OP posts:
Obeast · 27/02/2024 12:47

Why don’t you go and hit some kids then? If it will achieve your goals as you think it will. <logic>

Cornettoninja · 27/02/2024 12:51

I mean it’s been a fairly long time (generations) since smacking fell out of fashion, why are you only making observations now?

What period of time are you making comparisons with?

Obeast · 27/02/2024 13:02

60 years ago the title says, for the utopian days @JessieZoo yearns for 😄

ilovebreadsauce · 27/02/2024 13:05

Well not that long ago.Certainly not 'generations '
It isn't so much smacking, as much as any discipline.

ilovebreadsauce · 27/02/2024 13:06

Lack of firm boundaries and general mollycoddling and babying kids which as led to a generatom on anxious teens

Spudthespanner · 27/02/2024 13:06

The smacking is irrelevant. It's a lack of discipline, parents relying on schools to do everything, and social bloody media.

Obeast · 27/02/2024 13:07

Name change failure?

HelpMeGetThrough · 27/02/2024 13:07

A child having confidence in my eyes is a good thing, as long as they are carefully guided with it.

Children being afraid of adults is not a good thing at all. I was scared of my father when I was a young child and I can tell you, it's an awful feeling. My mother didn't help when she would say "just wait until your father gets home".

Smacking I'm not even commenting on.

EddieHoweBlackandWhiteArmy · 27/02/2024 13:07

Yeah ok, are you bored today?
times gone by were not that great either 🙄

Spudthespanner · 27/02/2024 13:11

Obeast · 27/02/2024 13:07

Name change failure?

Who are you talking to?

manipulatrice · 27/02/2024 13:11

The vasty majority I come across are just full of bravado and are harmless. I am not sure why adults seem to be so scared of them tbh, it does baffle me.

saveforthat · 27/02/2024 13:13

I don't think we should go back to the 60s when smacking or even beating children with a belt was commonplace. I do believe we have now moved too far the other way, there are no effective consequences at all and many children grow into young adults with a huge sense of entitlement but no resilience.

Orangeandgold · 27/02/2024 13:18

I also think parents have become too soft. You don’t need to hit a child to discipline them. There is a way to parent a child so that there is mutual respect.

Whilst hitting a child instills fear, it is so unhealthy and it doesn’t raise healthy adults. Whilst letting boundaries go completely and letting children run free often means the adults become afraid of the kids.

The other day I took my DD to the cinema with one of her friends (they are preteen) that was being disrespectful. She was behind me whilst I was entering my PIN number at the cash point and saying “I can see your pin. I know your pin). Her mum did absolutely nothing. So I turned around and told her off. She was completely silent. Whenever I’m with this family the mum makes zero effort to correct her DDs behaviour. This is the problem.

There is a fear of telling kids off these days. How are we going to have decent adults if there are zero boundaries.

Spudthespanner · 27/02/2024 13:19

saveforthat · 27/02/2024 13:13

I don't think we should go back to the 60s when smacking or even beating children with a belt was commonplace. I do believe we have now moved too far the other way, there are no effective consequences at all and many children grow into young adults with a huge sense of entitlement but no resilience.

Completely agree with this

Cornettoninja · 27/02/2024 13:31

Obeast · 27/02/2024 13:02

60 years ago the title says, for the utopian days @JessieZoo yearns for 😄

Ah, thanks - I didn’t register that from the title at all!!

well the 60’s had to contend with mods and rockers rioting, and then from the linked 2008 article:

”The number of girls carrying a deadly blade in 1968 was DOUBLE the level of today”

“And while 48 of today's kids said they WOULDuse a blade if they got caught up in a street fight, 86 of the older generation admitted they HAD”

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/violent-britain-worse-60s-1656306?int_source=amp_continue_reading&int_medium=amp&int_campaign=continue_reading_button#amp-readmore-target

I’m quite convinced that there is zero argument that violence towards children creates a better society.

I am in favour of fostering a stake and sense of purpose within a community and think that yields much better results. Takes money to build that though 🤷‍♀️

VIOLENT BRITAIN? IT WAS WORSE IN THE 60s

Teenage violence is one of the biggest fears for people in Britain today - but the problem was actually far WORSE in the Swinging Sixties.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/violent-britain-worse-60s-1656306?int_source=amp_continue_reading&int_medium=amp&int_campaign=continue_reading_button#amp-readmore-target

SomersetTart · 27/02/2024 13:34

That Daily Mirror article is 16 years old.

LoveSandbanks · 27/02/2024 13:39

Never smacked my children, they’re still scared of me 🤣

im joking obviously but they do definitely respect me (and I them) at 15, 19 and 22 the worst I could say of them is they don’t help enough round the house.

I was a very strict parent but I didn’t have to resort to physical punishment to discipline them.

blacksax · 27/02/2024 13:39

60 years ago children were scared of BEING TOLD Off by adults. There's a difference between that and being scared of adults.

These days, on the whole, kids aren't scared of being told off for wrongdoing, on the contrary. They couldn't give a shit because they know they are invincible. These days, adults aren't automatically treated with respect by children and young people as their elders and betters - no, apparently we have to earn their respect now.

Something has gone very wrong somewhere.

NameChangeAgain0224 · 27/02/2024 13:44

Up until the age of about 16/17 I was terrified of my mother.

I would hate it if my children were scared of me in the same way I was a scared of her.

Cornettoninja · 27/02/2024 13:52

SomersetTart · 27/02/2024 13:34

That Daily Mirror article is 16 years old.

Well the OP is making comparisons to sixty years ago - pointing out why it was a shaky comparison sixteen years ago never mind today is valid.

These days, adults aren't automatically treated with respect by children

@blacksax looking around I don’t really blame them. There’s not exactly loads of respectful behaviour modelled around them.

That’s presuming you’re talking about actual respect and not manners. I think both are important but the two are often conflated. A teen not saying thank you to me for opening a door for them but then putting their rubbish in a bin is lacking manners not respect.

blacksax · 27/02/2024 14:27

Cornettoninja · 27/02/2024 13:52

Well the OP is making comparisons to sixty years ago - pointing out why it was a shaky comparison sixteen years ago never mind today is valid.

These days, adults aren't automatically treated with respect by children

@blacksax looking around I don’t really blame them. There’s not exactly loads of respectful behaviour modelled around them.

That’s presuming you’re talking about actual respect and not manners. I think both are important but the two are often conflated. A teen not saying thank you to me for opening a door for them but then putting their rubbish in a bin is lacking manners not respect.

I am old enough to remember what it was like to be a child 60 years ago.

When I say respect, it is the automatic respect for people in authority I'm talking about, not the current usage of the word 'respect', which drives me potty. Respect for the law, for adults such as teachers, other parents, staff in shops, school bus drivers, anyone really. Children used to behave, and do as they were told.

Good manners, politeness and consideration for others is somewhat lacking in many people these days, and not just in the younger generation.

stayathomer · 27/02/2024 14:30

I absolutely don’t agree with smacking and think it is horrendous that teachers disciplined through fear BUT things are out of control now yes.

Cornettoninja · 27/02/2024 14:33

Fair enough @blacksax, but I do have to point out that as someone maybe twenty odd years younger than you, at a point in life I am more likely to have more relationships with those age groups that’s not my experience at all. There are always examples of the opposite bandied about but that’s because they’re the exception not the rule. Reports and gossip about kids just getting on with their business not impacting anyone don’t tend to circulate in the same way opposite behaviour does.

Pr0fessionalLurker · 27/02/2024 14:41

The children today are being raised by those who were the children of those who thought it OK to beat the shit out of them on a regular basis.

Which is probably why they don't go in much for the "spanking"

feathermucker · 27/02/2024 14:47

So, what is your solution OP...........if you ever come back?