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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

To be shocked by this

39 replies

Brightandbubly · 02/02/2024 21:55

my DS has just confined with me that a good friend took hard drugs with his Mother ffs. This is not on some sink estate, she is in business. Her DS has had mental health issues which goes some way to explain it.
what the hell.

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 02/02/2024 21:56

No idea why it's a shock, how much cocaine is in the city for example?

DrunkenElephant · 02/02/2024 22:00

How old is the friend?

I mean it’s really not great either way, but if he’s 25 it’s very different than say if he’s 14.

Original poster
Brightandbubly · 02/02/2024 22:00

Can never imagine as a Mother even if I took drugs taking them with my DD

OP posts:
Original poster
Brightandbubly · 02/02/2024 22:00

DS

OP posts:
Original poster
Brightandbubly · 02/02/2024 22:05

16

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AnotherVice · 02/02/2024 22:05

Obviously if under 18 you safeguard this. Otherwise not a lot to be done. I agree though, it's irresponsible.

HalloweenIsDone · 02/02/2024 22:06

I used to work with a guy who was 18 and he and his parents and other siblings used to smoke cannabis. He even started selling it. His mum was quite high up in our company at the time

Original poster
Brightandbubly · 02/02/2024 22:07

He has struggled at school, with friendships it’s not the right thing for a parent to do with their child.

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Got2getout · 02/02/2024 22:08

It does happen unfortunately. If the friend is still a child you should report it through the school’s safeguarding lead or direct to Children’s Services.

Hesleepswiththefishes · 02/02/2024 22:10

Did a few raves in the early 90s…anyone over early 20s was ancient

back then I would maybe have a glass of wine with my parents and my kids are the same now

why would you party with a different generation 🤨

sounds weird

SallyWD · 02/02/2024 22:13

It's not good, is it? But probably more common than you think. I went to school with a boy whose mum would get drugs for him and his friends (and join in with them). The boy was only 14/15 when this was going on. Everyone wanted to be his mate and thought his mum was a legend. Sad really.

RampantIvy · 02/02/2024 22:14

WandaWonder · 02/02/2024 21:56

No idea why it's a shock, how much cocaine is in the city for example?

So you wouldn't be shocked that the parent of a 16 year old took class A drugs with their child?

Blimey, I would.

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/02/2024 22:15

Yeah okay

WandaWonder · 02/02/2024 22:17

RampantIvy · 02/02/2024 22:14

So you wouldn't be shocked that the parent of a 16 year old took class A drugs with their child?

Blimey, I would.

Show quote history

It is not something I have ever been around nor my teenager but I watch the news nothing shocks me

But the idea 'oh she is in business' means nothing so the general thing of there is only drugs on housing estates type attitude is probably more shocking

Original poster
Brightandbubly · 02/02/2024 22:20

WandaWonder · 02/02/2024 22:17

It is not something I have ever been around nor my teenager but I watch the news nothing shocks me

But the idea 'oh she is in business' means nothing so the general thing of there is only drugs on housing estates type attitude is probably more shocking

Show quote history

My point was society always lays blame at deprived areas , so more of a before we go pointing fingers

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RampantIvy · 02/02/2024 22:31

But the idea 'oh she is in business' means nothing so the general thing of there is only drugs on housing estates type attitude is probably more shocking

I don't disagree with you there @WandaWonder.
When I was a teenager cocaine was known as the champagne drug because it was so expensive. I still tend to associate it with people who have money. Round here weed, ket and spice are the drugs of choice. Although the nearest town also has a problem with crack cocaine and heroin.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 03/02/2024 00:05

What type of drugs did they do? Do you have concrete evidence or could the other boy be being a typical teenager and speaking out his arse to impress his mates?

“hur hur, I did coke at the weekend!”
”you what, no you didn’t you prat where did you even get it?”
”ummm, my mum?”

LostFrog · 03/02/2024 08:37

just, no. It crosses a line. I’m not sanctimonious about drugs, but it just seems wrong.
my sister does it with her (admittedly young adult) kids though.

Hecate01 · 03/02/2024 08:59

I live on a "sink estate" and believe it or not we don't all take drugs, drink and corrupt our children.

Typical MN stereotype that we are all drug users. Some of us own our own homes there and have decent paid jobs, we don't sit around all day watching daytime tv waiting for our dealer to arrive when our benefits money goes in the bank 🙄

vidflex · 03/02/2024 09:07

I foster teens. Usually short term and almost always they have mental health or drug issues. I've seen children who've come from vastly different backgrounds. But it seems that drug use, especially cocaine use, seems to be very normalised in upper class households. Children from poorer backgrounds grounds tend to have been exposed to drugs but not encouraged to take them.

That's my experience

RampantIvy · 03/02/2024 09:10

Typical MN stereotype that we are all drug users.

I agree @Hecate01. On cocaine threads posters don't believe me when I say my friends don't indulge, because "everyone" does it don't you know.

I know people who do it but they aren't my friends.

Thank you for what you do @vidflex

Crackoncrackerjack · 03/02/2024 09:13

I’ve been a teacher a long time and nothing surprises me anymore

LostFrog · 03/02/2024 09:44

its a sign of the times though.. when I was young it was really, really normal for everyone I knew (middle class) to take drugs, now they are in their late forties with teens and those who work in certain industries and have certain incomes just never grew out of it. It’s part of what they do when they see old friends, have weekends away etc, it’s not every Saturday night, and it’s not something they do with their kids!

Original poster
Brightandbubly · 03/02/2024 13:10

MorningSunshineSparkles · 03/02/2024 00:05

What type of drugs did they do? Do you have concrete evidence or could the other boy be being a typical teenager and speaking out his arse to impress his mates?

“hur hur, I did coke at the weekend!”
”you what, no you didn’t you prat where did you even get it?”
”ummm, my mum?”

I think he’s telling the truth, he said they take ecstasy together and he knows his Mum takes cocaine too. Wouldn’t be surprised if she has shared that experience with her DS too. I

OP posts:
Original poster
Brightandbubly · 03/02/2024 13:12

Hecate01 · 03/02/2024 08:59

I live on a "sink estate" and believe it or not we don't all take drugs, drink and corrupt our children.

Typical MN stereotype that we are all drug users. Some of us own our own homes there and have decent paid jobs, we don't sit around all day watching daytime tv waiting for our dealer to arrive when our benefits money goes in the bank 🙄

My intention was to point out that the assumption is it’s always depraved areas that are the issue as previously explained. It makes me mad that with money and prestige perceptions are v different helping her to be a crap mother

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