Is my teenager taking drugs?

[Kosenrufugirl]

My teen used to go into his bedroom after school and play Roblox for hours (and to use every week's allowance on Roblox). Since the beginning of this term he comes home and gets into bed. The lights are kept off even though it gets completely dark after 5. He says he is tired and wants to rest. Homework hasn't increased, no peer problems that I know off. No health issues. He looks and sounds normal when he gets home after school and if I venture into the bedroom. Asks to keep the light off as it's hurting his eyes. Back to normal around 7. It's been going on and off for over a week now. I heard this kind of behaviour could indicate a child is taking drugs. I spoke about drugs, he laughed it of. Am I being paranoid or do I have a reason to worry?

Thank you, that's a very good thought, hasn't crossed my mind. I need to ask his older brother to help me with the password to his phone

Thank you for your reply. If his eyes were itchy he would have told me, he had infective conjunctivitis in October and told me straight away. Got a few days off school, was very pleased about it. He had his eye test in September no change in prescription. It got to be something else

What do you mean by adventurous? Am intrigued

Thank you to everyone who contributed, I am very relieved to hear drugs are unlikely. I am going to discretely investigate what my son is up to on his phone when he is lounging away in his bed every afternoon for a few hours after school (instead of going straight to the computer). Watch the space, another thread might be coming. Something is definitely going on!

OP you seem a bit strange.

It does sound really worrying. Is he still hanging around with the same friends? Are they okay boys? Do you know if any of them are suffering in the same way?

Very head strong and very independent even as a toddler. Used to run away and go exploring away from the playground age 2-3. I really had to have eyes at the back of my head with him. He hasn't changed much. I have to thread easily with him. Excellent behaviour at school, super stroppy with his parents. Very bright. Always knows best

So a pretty normal teenage boy then? He's 13, he's either watching porn, talking to a romantic interest or asleep. At that age DS would fall asleep on the sofa after school and then be up playing football at 6:30.

Is this your first teenager? it's an essential part of their life to spend much time in bed as possible.What a leap to drugs!
My DD18 can easily sleep 18 straight hours.

To add, sneaking his password to his phone is not acceptable, you sound like a loon.

Thank you for your reply. My son has fallen out with his best friend from Reception about 6 months ago. That boy comes from a strict family. My son since took to hanging out with a boy from a well off but a very dysfunctional family (this new friend is self harming. My son told me, I made a discrete referral to the school, he is now getting counselling). The boy sometimes comes to our house, doesn't stay long, seems ok. My son and this boy hang out together a lot, I am not sure where. My son is a typical teenager, doesn't disclose much. I don't see why my son is attracted to this new boy to be honest

It's a change of behaviour i am querying

He is 13 years old and I am worried about a sudden change in behaviour

Taking drugs is usually (but not always) a social activity for teenagers. Much less likely to be doing them on their own, unless they are also doing them with friends.

Thank you, that's good to know. Teenagers smoked together when I was young so taking drugs together makes sense

Teenagers do change their behaviour when puberty kicks in. It’s part of growing up. And part of that is spending less time with their parents.
The ‘cheap synthetic drugs’ you mention - are you talking about eg ketamine? It’s unlikely a young teen would go from zero to ket in a week. If they were dabbling it would start with weed, smoking with mates. There would be other signs - change of friendship group, not bothering with school, talking about drugs etc.
I think you need to start educating yourself though. Read up but not to convince yourself that’s what he’s up to.
More likely he’s texting a love interest or something.

I’d assume illness before drugs.

My first thought was a porn and wank fest.

Then depression but If he bounces out happy later, maybe not.

Talk to him.

This is what I was thinking. 13 year old boy lying down in a dark room for a couple of hours after school. I really don't think it's drugs he's doing!

I think you're being really OTT about his change in behaviour. It all sounds like perfectly normal 13 year old stuff.

My 14 year old gets into his bed as soon as he's home. Never has the bedroom light on. He's either on his Xbox or his phone. Chatting or gaming with mates. Doing his homework. Buying clothes and aftershave. Probably trying to find porn online.

You may not approve of new friends he makes. My DS certainly has a couple of friends I'm not terribly keen on. But you have to loosen the apron strings a little and let him make his own choices.

It's very odd that you're jumping to a conclusion about drugs and planning to sneak into his phone. Are the lines of communication so bad that you can't just ask him what's going on?

Thank you again to everyone who contributed. I will keep an eye. It might be porn (which is also damaging). It might be a love interest. I am fairly convinced at this point it's not drugs. However I just remembered that my eldest son greatly embarrassed me at the dinner party a few years ago by reciting the name of all the drugs he knew and it was a long list! We live in a very middle class borough and he was in Year 5! I was told he learnt it from his primary school friends with siblings in secondary. I don't think the drug situation has got any better since then

I'd be presuming the hormone drugs have kicked in rather than the cheap synthetic kind.

We live in a very middle class borough and he was in Year 5!

The middle classes are the worst for teenage drugs in my experience!

My DS used to crawl into bed for a couple of hours after school. He was overstimulated in school and just needed some peace and quiet

My son has done this in the past. I wondered if he was ill but he just wanted to relax that way. I thought he was sleeping but was actually just on his phone and a bit bored with his computer. He stopped doing it after a bit.