18 year old in the middle of an abusive rant. I wish I had never had kids.

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That’s it really. She is number 5 out of 6. App I am the most atrocious and abusive mother ever. She has been standing outside my bedroom spewing out a diatribe of the most hurt things she can think of saying. I actually have stopped listening. If has been going on for half an hour now.

Sorry you're in this situation. Didn't want to read and run. Are you afraid that she will be physically violent if you leave the bedroom? Is there anyone available to support you?

Why is she so angry?

What has happened?

I’m sorry :( When she calms down it is time for a conversation about moving out I think. She can’t stay if she is abusive and is over 18.

What happened? Is there anyone else in the house with you?

A tantrum needs an audience, don't give her one.

What does she think you've done then

Step one change the WiFi password.
Step 2 withdraw all parenting duties if she can't respect you as a dm..
Stop all atm facilities.
And taxi services..

Why ?

First see if there's anyone who can support you.
Is there any relative / friend of yours who could call over?
Let people in - abuse like this flourishes in silence, when it's kept hidden. Get someone else to talk to her about it.

And secondly - maybe tomorrow but definitely asap - tell her she needs to move out, give her notice.

They say your kids abuse (verbally) the one they love the most, so don't take it to heart.

Patience is the key and yes I know they push buttons. I'm sorry you're going through this op, sometimes the least said, soonest mended. Let them get it out of their system and then tell them you love them... one day they're going to reciprocate

She is an adult; perhaps it is time to treat her like one. That is not abusive.

She can move out if you are such a failure as a parent.

Sorry that's a horrible rhetoric. 'They're abusive because they really love you' ?? Dangerous!!

None of my kids have done this to me OP, or even yelled at me abusively. Is anyone in her life modeling this behavior? Do you generally yell a lot as a family?

Happy well adjusted people don't behave like this. Why is she so unhappy or what is she not coping with? Being one of 6 cannot be easy. Handle it calmly OP and don't take it personally, something has gone wrong somewhere and she needs support, she is barely more than a child. Her behaviour is not acceptable obviously but what's at the root of it?

What's she upset about op?

Once she's calmed down, it might be an idea to tell her that as she's legally an adult, she is living under your roof thanks to your kindness

Maybe 🤔 I'm naive (my eldest is only 14) but what I'm thinking is why are you allowing this? Why don't you or your DH go to her and tell her to stop this abusive rant right now - or leave the house.

I just can't see why you allow her to imprison you in your bedroom and subject you to this.

If it were my house my DH or I would just say" how DARE you speak to me like this. Either you stop this RIGHT NOW or you leave this house until you can behave in an acceptable way. "

But maybe I'm naive ... and don't know what parenting older teens is like.

I agree with this.

Thanks. She wasn’t physically violent but as verbally nasty as she could be. She was pushing all the buttons and saying all the things she knew would hurt the most- I am numb to it now.
the great irony is she keeps telling me I should parent her and then in the next breath literally says I have no jurisdiction over her.
we have horrible family situation but she knows how to twist things.

Does she want to live with you?

My ds is about the same age and does this sometimes too (thankfully not so often now). As someone else said, for him its generally because being mean to me is a safe space - an opportunity to let out all his angst and rage - and know that Ill just hide and wait for him to calm down. At which point I tell him that sort of behaviour isnt at all ok, that he made me cry and feel awful. And he will look sheepish and apologise etc.
Its awful, totally not ok and obviously I would rather never ever to have experienced it - but having outbursts like that at home, at me - has meant he hasnt done it in public, to strangers, to friends etc.

Its very much like a teens/young adult version of toddler rage.

She has no respect for you. You needcto take control of the situation and tell her to stop being rude.

She is obviously angry about something but it's not your fault

Thanks for your support.
bit of family history for context. I have 6 kids. 4of them live with my ex- he has super big house- pays for everything . He was also physically and emotionally emotionally abusive towards me for ball the time I was with him.
the kids lived in a less than great environment. I left him with the 4 youngest when the now 18 year old was 6. He has spent the intervening years slagging me off and telling the children so was abusive towards them. If has been his aim to get them all to live with him.
she lived with him for about 6 months a year ago but came back because she hated it. This has been an issue for him ever since.
the three eldest are 25,24 and 22. They do endless university studies and live in his house without paying a penny towards anything. I do not agree with that.
the youngest is 16 and chose to go and live there to be with his brothers.
My 18 year old smokes weed and lives a lifestyle she knows I hate. When she doesn’t get what she wants she spins the ‘you are abusive’ narrative that is used at the other house.
i wish she would go and live there but she hates it there.

Although you can't make her go and stay with her Dad, it's your decision whether or not you allow her to live with you. She's 18, she's young but still an adult. Would she consider family counselling? If not, you have 2 choices - continue to live with abuse (as you did with your ex), or tell her to move out. Maybe your relationship with her will improve if you're not living together. Do you have a good relationship with your other DC?