1.00 am too late to leave a party? 16 year old boy.

[Nothingelsetobedoing]

So my 16 year old has been invited to a Halloween party at the weekend and he tells us kick out time is 1.00 am and he plans to walk home (because he knows there is no way we would collect at 1.00 am). We live in a semi rural area but, like many small towns there is an element of anti social behaviour (not from him). DH thinks we should be telling him we will pick him up at 11.00 and that 1.00 is far too late. Interested to know if others agree?

I don’t really see what difference living rurally makes. Would people let their 16 year olds walk home at 1am in a city? Genuine question as growing up in a city myself I would never have been allowed.

Why don't you collect? Staying out til 1am is fine for a 16 year old and if there was a bus home fine, but I wouldn't let mine walk on a dark rural road - for safety from cars for one thing. I'd always collect. And have done so for other kids who have drunk too much, don't have another way home...I was always shocked that a parent would let a child stay out late without a way home figured out.

We’d collect at 1am, still do now and they’re 20

Assuming it was a rare thing I’d pick him up at 1 or if I really couldn’t, I’d arrange a taxi

We live in a city so they just get the latest bus home or walk in pairs or a group

In a rural area I'd let my DS walk home alone but not my DD. She'd have to have better arrangements

I mean you can't live out in the sticks and expect your teens to have a crappy earlier curfew than everyone else

You just have to suck it up and pick them up later and give them driving lessons as soon as

I'd pick my son up at any time of night or morning to make sure he was home safe. At 16 he's old enough to stay at a party till 1am as an occasional event surely?

My mother always said she didn't care what time I came home, only HOW I came home. She would rather I came home at 1am walking with a group of friends than 11pm alone.

Me too. But I was also walking home (I e the same rural town) which is why it’s a bit of a dilemma.

One thing that was always very cool with my parents was that it didn't matter where I was or what time it was, it was understood and clear that I could call them at any hour and they'd pick me up. I didn't take liberties with this - I would have options on how to get home safely and more often than not, that worked out fine. But if that fell through or if other events unfolded that were outside my control - I could always call my parents and they would pick me up, no judgment, no complaints - if anything, they praised me for calling them rather than putting myself in a dangerous situation.

It's a one off party - it's not every night. Arrange to pick him up at 1am or order a taxi to pick him up at 1am.

We had a Halloween party last night. We are rural and many of my daughters friends are in town. They are all 17/18yr. They were all picked up by 11pm by a mix of parents and taxi. Many of them were also quite drunk by about 9pm (it did start at 5pm). Your son might be optimistic about end time if many do get drunk quickly (even if he doesn’t). I’d be picking up at that time though. I usually give my daughter an 11pm pick up time if I have to I into town to get her although she can sometimes convince her older siblings to get her later.

So @Nothingelsetobedoing what did you do

Assume party was last night

Did uou pick up at 1am

I never had a curfew for my son at 16, only said he must let me know if he’s going to be really late or stay elsewhere because I’ll worry. We’re not rural though. I would have picked him up at 1 am or given him taxi money in your situation.

I've absolutely drilled into mine that we will pick them up anytime anywhere. I think you've made the right choice. There's no way I'd let a 26yo walk through and area at the weekend with or with ASB going on.