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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

“Manscaping”? (Male hair removal from pubic area)

87 replies

Inamuddle36 · 22/09/2023 15:15

Hi — I am old and possibly out of touch so I need some perspective. I don’t want to give all the details but need to know whether there is now a trend for men to remove hair from their pubic area or whether the desire to do so is indicative of body discomfort/dysphoria. I have known many men over the years and never knew one who wished to remove pubic hair. Is it even safe to use hair removal cream from such sensitive cream? Is this a new fad or have I just missed it before?

OP posts:
mumof1or2 · 22/09/2023 17:26

Inamuddle36 · 22/09/2023 16:34

Thanks for your replies. So… sounds like I should be a bit concerned.

I don't think you should be concerned at all. It's very common amongst young to young-ish men. It's a common topic of conversation on shows like Love Island.

Original poster
Inamuddle36 · 22/09/2023 18:56

Thank you for the observations.
my “concern” is in response to pp comments about possible influence from porn as well as from concern about possible body insecurity.

in response to pp question — I would be concerned if a teenage girl were waxing or using creams to remove all pubic hair (as opposed to straggly but visible from around swimsuit). And I do think the risk could be greater for men if they were removing hair from highly sensitive areas.

notnsure what to do now. Mention something to my son? Or ignore? (I saw hair removal cream and nappy rash cream — not snooping, lest anyone ask!) so assume he might have an u comfortable rash as a result of applying the cream.
would want to say something only to open avenue for conversation if (a) he is in discomfort due to rash or (b) he is feeling societal pressure to remove hair.

OP posts:
titchy · 22/09/2023 19:03

If all you've seen is cream why have you leapt to the conclusion he's removing all his pubic hair? He may have been removing chest hair, or just tidying up his bikini (mankini?!) line?

I'm not sure why you'd mention anything tbh.

autumn1610 · 22/09/2023 19:19

Most men I have been with trim short, not dull removal as I think it would slightly odd. Each to their own I suppose, I prefer it more tidied up m, but then prefer that for myself too. I wouldn’t be concerned, it’s his body

itsmyp4rty · 22/09/2023 19:22

Does seem to be a thing OP. There was even a bloke on Love Island a few years back that got his mum to shave his arse for him. Everyone wants to be hairless like a porn star now.

blahblahblah1654 · 22/09/2023 20:27

It's been a thing for years. I wouldn't be concerned about it. If he's happy doing it what's the harm?

Original poster
Inamuddle36 · 22/09/2023 22:14

@titchy — perhaps I’m leaping to conclusions but I don’t think so — I can see his legs, arms, face and often torso — so pretty sure none of this areas have become targets of hair removal.

My concerns are (1) possible influence from porn and/or peer pressure; (2) possible harm to skin — a concern exacerbated by the fact that he has a tube of nappy rash ointment.

I agree it is his body, etc etc but don’t want him to feel he has to follow trends nor want him to suffer discomfort of a rash alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Inamuddle36 · 22/09/2023 22:16

@blahblahblah1654 thanks for the perspective. I live a sheltered life and do not know all the “things” that are commonplace, especially those that are commonplace amongst youth

OP posts:
Highlyflavouredgravy · 22/09/2023 22:21

I am so glad that I was young when I was. The very thought of a pubic hairless man is repulsive.

IslaWinds · 22/09/2023 22:24

It’s not new. Thirty years ago athletes were doing all over hair removal, especially swimmers and body builders. Many men would remove hair on their backs and get a “sack and crack” waxing in the pubic area. Most men would trim pubes and underarms with scissors to keep it neat and not a full cock or pit beard.

Looking historically and at different cultures, there has always been different types and amounts of manscaping. The Greek, Roman and Egyptian sculptures don’t show hairy men…

Men don’t usually talk about manscaping to the women in their life, I mean who is going to admit that if they didn’t get hair removal, their girlfriend could run her fingers through his hair from his head to his toes what with back hair, bum hair and leg hair? Men will just be like, Nah I don’t grow hair on my back and bum.

IslaWinds · 22/09/2023 22:26

I’d just ignore. It is his body hair and removal is most often a matter of personal preference not porn brainwashing.

incognito50me · 23/09/2023 07:30

I get the concern about skin health/infection risk. I have spoken to my DD about mitigating these risks when shaving, but the decision on hair removal is hers to take.
I wouldn't be worried about the influence of porn - if anything, it's a trickle down effect and not direct (just like leg shaving for girls is widely accepted now, no matter where the fad originated).

C1N1C · 23/09/2023 07:50

It seems the majority in here order a bit fluffy... I wonder if this attitude is different in America as they 'tend' to like their men without body hair (maybe that includes public hair?)

EarringsandLipstick · 23/09/2023 08:02

would be concerned if a teenage girl were waxing or using creams to remove all pubic hair

Don't be mad! Creams to remove all pubic hair could be a bit of a concern, as it might touch sensitive genital areas but waxing is fine. Once over 16, their choice. (Most girls seem to choose, some, but not all, hair removal, based on my DD).

My concerns are (1) possible influence from porn and/or peer pressure; (2) possible harm to skin — a concern exacerbated by the fact that he has a tube of nappy rash ointment.
Just talk to him
🤷🏻‍♀️
You are making a massive fuss out of nothing. My 14 yo DS says boys he knows remove their pubic hair - he doesn't have really any yet for it to be an issue either way! I've talked about the reasons why, including the possibility that it's part of social media conditioning, porn-culture, Love Island etc.Once they are old enough to decide for themselves, it's their choice.

LlynTegid · 23/09/2023 11:58

Whilst OP you are reasonable to question whether it is the influence of porn, it may not be in the case of your DS. Social media and peer pressure may be a factor.

Having been to saunas in Germany where everyone is naked, whilst not teenagers, men manscaping is quite commonplace.

Original poster
Inamuddle36 · 23/09/2023 12:04

@EarringsandLipstick thanks for offering perspective. it is helpful to know that hair removal is somewhat common for boys/men. (Til now, no man I know (well enough to have any insight) has cut/shaved any body hair other than from face/head. Clearly, I am not keeping up with trends.)

I find it a bit sad that young men are taking up time consuming (and sometimes expensive) grooming — perhaps cosmetic companies are pushing for new customers as women move to free ourselves from the tyranny of highly groomed “looks”.

OP posts:
FiloPasty · 23/09/2023 12:07

Not sure if it’s been mentioned but I think anyone how has teenagers should watch Sex Education on Netflix. It is so well written and a brilliant insight into the different challenges the teenagers of today have. I didn’t think it would be my kind of thing but I 100% recommend watching it, it’s super funny and insightful!

Almahart · 23/09/2023 12:08

I'm glad I'm not a young woman because a shaven dick like a plucked chicken sounds revolting to me (yes I know it's not the actual dick), but for the love of god I would NEVER get involved in my son's choices here, I think that is really overstepping a line.

AuntieMarys · 23/09/2023 12:09

Dh has done it for years. He's 65 😅

SilverSpringss · 23/09/2023 12:10

DH keeps himself trim. Doesn't bother me what anyone chooses to do with their own pubic hair, it's none of my business.

Oblomov23 · 23/09/2023 12:20

I'm not keen. A trim is fine, but to be hair free is not natural. Originally porn, Unfortunately it's become more popular, many runners, swimmers, most professional football players hair free.

Angrymum22 · 23/09/2023 12:28

If your teenage son is in a relationship the grooming will be the decision of the girlfriend. DS19 used to remove his pubic hair when he was in a sexually active relationship. He was quite open about it and explained that the girlfriend preferred it.
He is a bit more worldly wise now and realised that his ex was incredibly controlling.
But the same can be said for teenage boys expecting girls to be shaved.
I’m so glad I was a teenager before pubic hair (or not) became a fashion statement. Like Sarah Milligan once said “I’m happy if it just stays in me pants”.

Littlefish · 23/09/2023 12:34

Inamuddle36 · 22/09/2023 18:56

Thank you for the observations.
my “concern” is in response to pp comments about possible influence from porn as well as from concern about possible body insecurity.

in response to pp question — I would be concerned if a teenage girl were waxing or using creams to remove all pubic hair (as opposed to straggly but visible from around swimsuit). And I do think the risk could be greater for men if they were removing hair from highly sensitive areas.

notnsure what to do now. Mention something to my son? Or ignore? (I saw hair removal cream and nappy rash cream — not snooping, lest anyone ask!) so assume he might have an u comfortable rash as a result of applying the cream.
would want to say something only to open avenue for conversation if (a) he is in discomfort due to rash or (b) he is feeling societal pressure to remove hair.

My daughter is 18. She's said that every single one of her female friends removed almost/all of their pubic hair. All of the boys trim or remove their pubic hair to a certain extent.

It's their choice.

It wouldn't be mine.

UnexpectedCircumstances · 23/09/2023 12:57

I'm in my 30s and all the guys I've been with have had at a very minimum, a very short trim. Certainly all my friends would expect that as a level of basic maintainence.

I think pubic hair is grim in men and women though, so if I got down there and it hadn't been dealt with, proceedings would've halted pretty sharpish!

...and before all the let-themselves-go types start with the 'it's natural', so are toenails and if they've not been trimmed that's a hard no from me too.

EarringsandLipstick · 23/09/2023 13:01

@Inamuddle36

Why is it sad? You are over-thinking it. It's a matter of preference.

I get an extended bikini wax, other women don't touch it, it's not a matter for judgement.

You seem excessively worried about this.

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