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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Piercings at school

70 replies

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 16:06

Does anyone know why staff and sixth formers would have more relaxed rules on piercings etc than students in years 7-11? They’re in the same environment doing the same tasks and lessons, still representing the school, so what’s the difference please? (I know they are to be removed for PE due to health and Safety.) In addition to this is your right to self expression and equality only limited to the categories LGBTQ? Can you not just identify as a person who has piercings?? (Amongst many others - although why we must be categorised is another debate!) Are we not trying to eradicate discrimination and judging in this day and age? So far the only reply to this is “rules are rules” which isn’t really answering my question.

OP posts:
Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 20:27

Why is the student rule on piercings different to the staff?

OP posts:
Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 20:29

Me? Why?

OP posts:
LarryStylinson · 12/09/2023 20:30

This thread deserves a picture doing compo face and coverage in the local rag

sleepyscientist · 12/09/2023 20:33

Because you cannot be responsible for your own health and safety in this country. Any waiver saying the school isn't responsible if it's gets ripped out by another student would be thrown out of court. With six former and staff they are less likely to be involved in fights etc so the risk is less.

I wish they would just drop uniform and make policy like this guidelines that if you break your problem.

Best one I like you can give permission for your kid to join the army at 16 but not get a tattoo that can be removed!

ohboohoo · 12/09/2023 20:35

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 18:25

Well! The rules actually said no visible piercing so we put her hair over it, they sanctioned her after asking her to move her hair. Then we put a plaster over it so they updated the policy to say no upper earrings or plasters permitted in direct retaliation to us. So that is not the case!

It wasn't in retaliation to you. It was as a result of your daughter and you doing everything you could to 'beat the system'. You knew what the rule meant but you thought you were being clever by oooooo putting her hair over it. Good grief. It's like you are a teen who hasn't grown up. They only had to get more specific because of petulant people like yourself

ohboohoo · 12/09/2023 20:38

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 20:27

Why is the student rule on piercings different to the staff?

Christ, next you'll be organising a walk out because staff don't have to wear uniforms.

Woush · 12/09/2023 20:39

Is your kid in primary school?

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 20:48

ohboohoo · 12/09/2023 20:35

It wasn't in retaliation to you. It was as a result of your daughter and you doing everything you could to 'beat the system'. You knew what the rule meant but you thought you were being clever by oooooo putting her hair over it. Good grief. It's like you are a teen who hasn't grown up. They only had to get more specific because of petulant people like yourself

I find your tone quite unnecessary. We weren’t beating the system, it wasn’t visible. I merely asked a question and I respect your answer and opinion, though I disagree. May I suggest doing the same without being quite so rude.

OP posts:
Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 20:50

Woush · 12/09/2023 20:39

Is your kid in primary school?

Secondary

OP posts:
cansu · 12/09/2023 20:57

You have been told many times that staff are adults who are employed to teach students. They do not have to follow the same rules as students. When your daughter is an adult, she may be able to express herself through her piercings although I am not sure how having piercings does this. Schools want students to be able to focus on their learning, not how fashionable or cool or edgy they are. They don't want students to feel pressure to be cool or edgy. Why is this the major issue for you? Why are you acting like a child trying to get around the rules? You sound over invested in this. It does come across as quite immature.

ShowOfHands · 12/09/2023 20:58

I am not a student. I don't wear uniform. I don't aske permission to leave the classroom. I don't queue up for lunch in the canteen. I don't have homework. I don't have any lessons. I don't catch the bus. I don't have to register morning and afternoon. I did all of the above when I was a student. Now I teach and life is different for me

I also wouldn't have my Mum complain to the school if I wore and lost jewellery and I don't move between classes or do PE so minimise injury risk due to piercings.

I've been through the school system. I completed my school contract.

The same students say the same thing to me regularly. "Miiiiiissss whhhhyyy can you have a nose piercing and I can't? What about my identity? What about my rights" Meanwhile, their classmates who signed the same contract are getting on with their education.

I quite like a bit of uniform protest tbh. And I've seen it be successful when students self organised, presented research and opinion, requested meetings, wrote to governors etc. It was wonderful to watch them effect change which meant something to them. The "Miiiissss bbbuuuutttt..." stuff? We have heard it all and the bottom line is that like it or not (and I don't particularly like uniform rules tbh), those are the rules and there is a school of thought to support them.

ConnieTucker · 12/09/2023 21:05

indianwoman · 12/09/2023 18:52

You are being silly, op.

Entitlement.

LolaSmiles · 12/09/2023 21:12

Why is the student rule on piercings different to the staff?
Because staff are not students.

They're different roles.

Staff have a staff dress code, 6th formers often have dress codes, Y7-11 students usually have a uniform.

This sounds like one of those textbook situations where the school have made something very clear, but student and their cool parent have decided that the basic thing mustn't apply to them because they don't do rules that they don't like.

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 21:15

cansu · 12/09/2023 20:57

You have been told many times that staff are adults who are employed to teach students. They do not have to follow the same rules as students. When your daughter is an adult, she may be able to express herself through her piercings although I am not sure how having piercings does this. Schools want students to be able to focus on their learning, not how fashionable or cool or edgy they are. They don't want students to feel pressure to be cool or edgy. Why is this the major issue for you? Why are you acting like a child trying to get around the rules? You sound over invested in this. It does come across as quite immature.

She wants a piercing, I say she can, the law says she can. School say she can’t even though staff have them. They say they’re inclusive and acknowledge the right to express yourself, but by not allowing her to wear them, then they’re contradicting themselves and being hypocrites by them wearing them and chastising her for it. Her piercings have no impact on her learning. It has annoyed me, yes and I’m allowed to feel annoyed. I don’t get what you don’t get, but that’s ok.

OP posts:
cansu · 12/09/2023 21:21

Do you think they ate going to change the rules for you? If so you are deluded.

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 21:23

LolaSmiles · 12/09/2023 21:12

Why is the student rule on piercings different to the staff?
Because staff are not students.

They're different roles.

Staff have a staff dress code, 6th formers often have dress codes, Y7-11 students usually have a uniform.

This sounds like one of those textbook situations where the school have made something very clear, but student and their cool parent have decided that the basic thing mustn't apply to them because they don't do rules that they don't like.

just like this sounds like the textbook “rules are rules” cliche when there isn’t really an argument. The school professes to be inclusive, it’s not. It has no impact on their learning. I’m not a cool parent, I stand by my child’s right to wear an earring if they want to. That’s it.

OP posts:
Daveismyhero · 12/09/2023 21:23

At my school it is a safety thing, lower school students are in the corridors at busier times (6th formers tend to be a few mins earlier or later once its quietened down) so they are more likely to get bumped etc these students are more likely to engage in sillier behaviour (shoving, grabbing eachother, pulling ties etc) both in lesson change over and at break and lunch time so it's easier to mitigate the risk by having a blanket no piercings for lower school rule. I've seen many nasty piercing injuries that happen completely by accident just from teenagers being teenagers

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 21:26

cansu · 12/09/2023 21:21

Do you think they ate going to change the rules for you? If so you are deluded.

Not for me, no! But rules do evolve when they are questioned.

OP posts:
mauvish · 12/09/2023 21:26

FFS @Suzysheep23 . It's a piercing. It's a school, they have rules (which, as many posters have said and as I'm sure you know really, are not the same for teachers as they are for children). It's an item of jewellery, it's not life and death.

She's got all the rest of her life, and every evening and weekend now, to "express her identity".

Grow up, and encourage your child to get a decent education rather than fussing about earrings.

(and just out of interest would you be so keen on her "expressing her identity" if it were via something with which you didn't agree? How about a facial tattoo of a swastika, for (an extreme) example? If not, why not?)

mauvish · 12/09/2023 21:28

I stand by my child’s right to wear an earring if they want to.

Actually I hate to break this to you, but your child doesn't have a "right" to wear an earring. It's a want, not a need.

ohboohoo · 12/09/2023 21:31

OP wearing multicoloured hair is not against the law but it likely is not allowed. Nor is wearing non regulation shoes or just not wearing uniform. What is your point!

Petrarkanian · 12/09/2023 21:32

Why didn't you choose a school which allowed extra piercings or transfer to one that does?

Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 21:37

mauvish · 12/09/2023 21:26

FFS @Suzysheep23 . It's a piercing. It's a school, they have rules (which, as many posters have said and as I'm sure you know really, are not the same for teachers as they are for children). It's an item of jewellery, it's not life and death.

She's got all the rest of her life, and every evening and weekend now, to "express her identity".

Grow up, and encourage your child to get a decent education rather than fussing about earrings.

(and just out of interest would you be so keen on her "expressing her identity" if it were via something with which you didn't agree? How about a facial tattoo of a swastika, for (an extreme) example? If not, why not?)

It’s a big deal to her. I should say expressing her identity that is legal. At the age now, a facial tattoo would be illegal.

OP posts:
Suzysheep23 · 12/09/2023 21:38

I would also like to add that many of her peers wear multiple piercings without punishment so she is feeling very unfairly treated at the moment. If rules are rules like everyone says, then surely they should apply to everyone.

OP posts:
cansu · 12/09/2023 21:41

But mum - the teachers wear earrings
But mum - my friend Julie didn't get told off
But mum - why can't I express my identity?
It's not fair!
You really are a teen!