DD is 16 and has tickets to Greenman Festival in a few weeks with her three friends, also 16. We've been to festivals as a family before but this is her first time without parents. Last year her and her friends decided they wanted to do a festival on their own this summer and Greenman was their choice based on their shared music tastes from looking at the previous lineups. I was sort of relieved as it looks quite gentle and not Reading or similar. I'm on good terms with all the friend's mums and we all agreed that this looked like a good thing for them and we were happy for them to go. As it turned out under 18s can't go on their own and they have to have an adult with them. My other DD who is 22 said she and her girlfriend (24) would go with them as they were thinking of going anyway. I put this option to all the other mums in the group and all were happy with it. The girls have been excited about this for months now, getting their camping stuff, their clothes and making playlists etc.
We get to last week, a month before the festival starts and friend's mum messages me to ask when I'll be picking them up and how long the drive is and a load of other questions. I said that they were getting the train and neither me nor DH are going and, as we arranged, they are going with my other DD and her girlfriend. Other mum says she was never informed of this (she was, I have the text messages) and assumed parents would be there (never indicated this at all). Presented with the evidence she changes her story to say she was fine with it but now she's not and doesn't think 16 year olds should be going alone (they're not) and is going to look to get tickets via people reselling them for her, her DH and her DS12 and they are all going to go as a family. Obviously this is not what DD or her friends want, and now daughter of this mum says she doesn't want to go if it's a family trip and DD and other friends don't want to go unless they all go and there's a whole load of drama.
I am really not sure what to do here and this other mum has put thoughts into my head that weren't there before and which I'm not sure I agree with but are nibbling at me constantly. DD22 and her girlfriend have offered to come and meet all the mums (the other two don't have an issue with this btw) and put the one who is worried at ease. Mum causing the drama has said she'd like this but no guarantee they still won't want to go as well. Has asked all sorts of questions about my daughter and her girlfriend, some of which are reasonable, some of which are intrusive and some of which I find a bit offensive, but DD22 is close with her sister and wants her and her friends to have the experience they wanted to so is going along with it. I think the other mum doesn't realise that there is an important element to this beyond just going to the festival, this is their first girls trip without us and that is what was agreed to happen.
But I've now got it into my head that maybe other mum is right, although heart of hearts I don't think she is. Not helped by DH deciding that he thinks he might agree with her. This annoys me because to me it says he doesn't trust DD22 to look after her sister and because his reasoning is DD and friends are "highly strung" and need more supervision than other 16 year olds. I don't agree with this and think "highly strung" is often just a way for people to demean sensitive young women. I'm not a decisive person and I am easily swayed by the opinions of others and this whole thing is stressing me out.
I'm sorry this is all very long and rambly and I'm not sure really what advice I am looking for, I genuinely don't know, I'm sort of praying other mum and family can't get resale tickets or relent, but maybe I am in the wrong and this was just a stupid idea to begin with, and I feel bad as they were all so looking forward to this.