Learning to drive

[Lucie390]

I really need some advice here as I’m totally stuck as to what to do !

DD wanted to learn to drive, all her fire do are learning and have nice new cars. We agree she could have lessons and would look at a car (not new but something little like a polo and she was happy.) Since she’s been having lessons her plan of going to a local university is changed and she now wants to go over 2 hours away. I have said buying a car (plus the £1500 insurance) is a waste of money as the car will be sat on the drive. Also I’d rather give her money for university, but whilst we can probably do both I really do feel it’s such a waste and we aren’t super well off, it’s hard earned money that we’ll have to save for and go without to give to her.

Shes v upset, goes to a well off school and is apparently the only one not learning to drive. I don’t believe this for a minute but I do see 80% of her friends do drive and lovely cars too.

o do feel for her but equally o feel we do the what we can, we paid for concert tickets last week and for her to go away next month with school friends. It’s difficult with wealthy friends as it’s just a given for them.

What would you do ? It means so much to her I’m worried I’ll regret I didn’t do this for her. Also she’s only in yr 12 so has another year of commuting to college which is 45 mins away, it’s not like she leaves for uni in Sept this year, she has another year yet.

Mine has taken his car to Uni. All his friends have cars.

Why can she not still have lessons?

If you can afford it get her to pass her test. Not so easy to do it later in life. If you can get her a cheap run around, shop around for insurance.

We just sold the dd's car when she went to university. She lives in the city centre so doesn't need a car.

They really aren't at uni long, plus mine has a job here in the holidays and needs his car then. Ds2 is about to start lessons too.

Still worth learning to drive young. I passed at 17 and didn’t actually get my own car until I was in my late 20s! When I lived with my parents, I was insured to drive theirs, although only when they didn’t need it. This was helpful as we lived rural. At uni I didn’t need a car. I got one when I graduated and got my first ‘real’ job. I saved a lot of money by not having one. My parents could have afforded to buy me one but it would have been a waste of money given I was off to uni where a car wasn’t needed!

I can’t think why you’re not supporting her learning. All the 17 year olds I know and I mean ALL of them learn to drive so if you live in a relatively affluent area then it’s highly likely they will drive. I don’t think it’s a waste to have a car if they go to uni: they’re home more than they’re away and my uni child takes theirs with them. We bought a runaround for about £3k, tax is £20 a year, service and MOT about £300 a year max and yes isirajce was high to begin with but is now about £320 a year. Their younger sibling is now learning on the same car.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say you should wait until she's finished uni first, before she even starts the driving lessons, let alone buying her a car!

That's the plan for mine anyway 😉

Support her having lessons and passing her test. It's the norm in my circle too that learners/newly qualified drivers are gifted a car - usually not new, TBF but my eldest had a girl in her year who had a brand new Range Rover Evoque! It's much easier to learn to drive when you're younger.

I haven't gone down that track, because I will not be buying three more cars (just two as it turns out because middle DC hasn't learned to drive!)

I passed my test aged 17 back in the dark ages, and I didn't have my own car until I was 28. I just took refresher lessons. I got a job that required me to drive, and I couldn't have even applied if I hadn't already had my licence.

Most of my friends didn't take their cars to uni but they had done lessons and passed their test - which I'd highly recommend her doing. I went to uni before passing my test and let the lessons go. I then was 26 before I passed when it should have been done and dusted before uni.

Wow I’m really surprised, I actually thought most people replying would feel the same. I mean she’s not the only one not learning to drive but I really do think it’s a waste of money.

Insurance is £1600 a year and then a car £2,000 then lessons another £2,000 in my eyes that’s a lot when she will be off to university in a big city where they can’t take their cars.

We have already spent £1,000 on lessons as she was planning on going to a university closer to home where she could take a car but she now has her gear set on a city uni.

She doesn't have to have a car the minute she passes her test. She can get a job at uni and run one, or be able to hire one if she wants to go travelling. Having a licence opens so many doors.

DS had lessons for a year, failed his first test and now there are none available so he can't retake! Wish we'd never bothered, what a waste of thousands of pounds we couldn't really afford.

How many lessons has she had for £1000? Must have been loads. It makes perfect sense for her to pass the test even if she doesn’t get a car. Seems silly not to when she wants to and has already started learning

Driving lessons at 17 is the norm here and its not an affluent area. If you can afford it I think a driving licence is an important thing to have under your belt as young as possible. It doesn't follow that she has to have a car immediately though. I passed at 17 a very long time ago, didn't have my own car for a few years but was insured on my parents car.

lessons are £45 each here, she’s had £900 worth of lessons and still not close to passing.

Kids with cars pass their tests quicker as they get more practice. They also end up saving shit loads of money at university because unless you’re in Central London driving is still cheaper than taking public transport / taxis. Even with the cost of the insurance. Plus uni students who have their own transport are more likely to get their pick of jobs during the holidays.

Is there a reason all her driving is in the instructor’s car and not yours?

The insurance is too high on our family car. It has a huge engine.

Having said that if she's not close to passing after that many lessons Id be reluctant to spend the money too. Is she getting any other practice e.g. in your car? That's really important.

If she doesn't continue lessons now, you will already have flushed that £1,000 down the toilet. I'd concentrate on getting her through the test before she goes to uni. My youngest passed earlier this year after a shit-ton of lessons but no practice between lessons so that was fair enough.

20hrs in she should be fairly competent, has she passed her theory? I'd keep going and get her licence, buying a car isn't a priority, but driving is a good skill to have.

Yes after reading these posts we will continue.

What doesn’t help is I feel her heart isn’t in it as we won’t get her a car. She failed her theory (no revision) and so I said ok if you’re not putting effort in let’s not continue with the lessons. She said fine I’m not bothered. Now she wants to start them up again but will not stop about getting a car, morning noon and night and it’s driving me mad.

She‘s so keen on 2 universities which are in major cities, hence why I’ve now said let’s stop the lessons.

Very, very few people have their cars at uni, in my very limited two DD knowledge! DD1 bought herself one after graduating, used it for three months, got a job in London and it sat on the drive like a beautiful monument to Italian style for two years, until we put our foot down and she sold it. Cost us a bloody fortune to insure and keep running. Complete waste! DD2 just passed, age 29, due to COVID delays. She will buy her own car in the summer. Her BF hasn't even started lessons yet. In our (pretty wealthy) London based group most of the kids are ensuing cars to save the planet 😊

Age 20, not 29!